The Devil's Assistant is Expendable
by FictionWriter91
Summary: Emily Charlton leaves behind hurt and pain when she comes to New York to live with her brother. She begins a new life in fashion, landing the most coveted job working for Miranda Priestly. But what happens when Emily falls for her brother's friend, Lee Christmas? What happens when she finds out what he does for a living? What happens when that puts her at risk?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! So, this idea has been rolling around in my head for a long time. I finally got around to writing it down. I am basing this story from the film and not the book (I have the book...I haven't read it yet). I loved Emily's character, so I wanted to delve into it a bit more. Of course it is AU, but it will coincide with the events of the film, so Andy and Miranda will be making appearances! I am also in the midst of a slight obsession of having Emily Blunt's characters be with Jason Statham's characters, so I am bringing over Lee Christmas from The Expendables franchise into this story. You don't have to see the films to know the character as I do character development for him as I go.  
**

**I hope you enjoy the story!**

* * *

**2006**

Emily Charlton loved her job. Yes, she did. No, really. Working at _Runway_ for one of the top women in fashion was every girl's dream. It was. Well, maybe it was an illusion. As Emily stood in the street with bags and bags in her arms, her phone screaming at her, and cars honking at her, she was beginning to think that perhaps the job wasn't all it was cracked up to be. Then, when things couldn't get any worse, Emily was struck by a car. As she lay on the ground after flying a few feet, she started to think about how she got there. How had things gotten so hard?

"Miss? Miss!" voices shouted. She felt her eyes closing. She felt so alone. She really wanted the person she no longer had, and it made her want to cry, not the fact that she just got hit by a car.

"Hang on, miss. Help is coming."

She didn't respond. It was getting quieter. Everything seemed like it was in slow motion. Where would she go from here?

Okay, now let's back up a bit, shall we?

**December 2004**

"Are you sure this is what you want, love?" Rosemary asked. Emily looked up at her mother from her bags.

"What do you mean? Of course it's what I want," she answered. Her tone was a little sharp, but it seemed to be sharp these days.

"It's just so far away," Rosemary went on.

"I will come visit," Emily promised.

"I feel as though you are running away," Rosemary said, looking pointedly at her daughter. Emily gave a huff and set down the things she was holding.

"Mum, I am not running away."

"It's just...well your father..."

"He'd want me to go, Mum. You know that. He always backed up my dreams and ambitions."

"I do too! I'm just saying that it's so soon after..."

"Don't," Emily said, holding up her hand. "I'm not running away, and it's not too soon. It's been three years, Mum. I'm going because I have to start my career and my life."

Rosemary studied her daughter for a moment before nodding.

"Okay," she said.

"Hey, sis," Eric said, coming into her room. "You almost ready?"

"This is your fault," Rosemary accused upon seeing her son. As the oldest, he was supposed to protect his little sister, but instead he was dragging her off to New York to live with him.

"Hey, whoa," Eric said, putting his hands up in defense. "This was always her plan, Mum."

"You've both left me here alone," Rosemary said, beginning to cry. Emily gave Eric a look behind their mother's shoulder.

"You've got Aunt Hettie. You're not entirely alone," Eric insisted.

"Oh yes, the sister who is always one upping me. Yes, that's the perfect person to leave me behind with."

"Mum, stop," Emily ordered. "We all can't live under the same roof forever. You knew this day was coming."

"I know but...without your father..."

"I need air," Emily said, moving out of the room quickly. Eric patted her shoulder as she passed, knowing how hard it was for her still. Emily reached their front step and breathed in deep breaths. Thinking about or talking about her father was beyond difficult. He had died just before Christmas three years ago. It was still very fresh in her mind, though, and it made her heart hurt every day. It had been a shock to all of them, really. Edward had been struck with a heart attack on his way to work. No one had found him until hours later when it was too late. Emily became vigilant about her health ever since. She watched her diet and she exercised more. She refused to let what happened to her father happen to her. Of course, her mother was terrified she would become anorexic, but Emily was careful.

"Hey, Em," Eric said, surfacing behind her. "Mum's sorry, you know?"

"I know."

"Come on and finish up. We don't want to miss our flight."

"All right."

Emily took one last look around their front yard before going inside. Despite what her mother thought, she was going to miss home.

...

Emily did her best to keep the image of her crying mother out of her mind as the plane flew over the ocean. She felt bad leaving her there all alone, but her mother could have come with them. They all could have started over in America. There would have been nothing wrong with that. Her mother refused, though, saying she had to stay where she belonged.

"Peanut?" Eric asked, holding the bag to her. She shook her head.

"Come on, Em, you've eaten nothing today," Eric said.

"I'm not hungry," she replied. It was sort of the truth. Eric narrowed his eyes at her.

"You're not getting sick, are you?"

"No. Would you stop? You're worse than Mum."

"Ouch," Eric laughed. "Okay, I'll stop, but you have to promise me to eat at least two peanuts." Emily glared at him, but she reached into the bag and pulled out two peanuts, placing them in her mouth. They were way too salty, and she immediately wanted to spit them out, but she chewed and swallowed to make him happy.

"Thank you," he said. Emily was calculating how much time and exercise she'd need to do to get rid of those two peanuts. It was becoming a little bit of an obsession, but she was still confident she was fine.

"I'll get my own place," Emily promised. "I won't get in your way."

"I don't mind you staying with me," Eric said. "I didn't tell Mum, but I do have a roommate."

"You do?"

"Yea. Is that all right?"

"Guy or girl?" Emily asked, suspicious.

"I'm not secretly dating someone, if that's what you're thinking," Eric chuckled. "No, it's my friend. You remember him. Lee Christmas? You used to tag along behind us when we did stuff."

"Oh my God, _Lee_?" Emily asked, shocked. She hadn't seen him in a long time. She blushed a little, remembering how much of a crush she used to have on him. She hadn't really dated much growing up, and she certainly did not have any experience. She had just turned 23. Eric was 30. The joke was that she was a "whoops" and not meant to be there at all, but her father had convinced her that it wasn't true, that he'd always wanted her. Lee was at least 32 or 33. She remembered he had been held back a grade in high school, where he and Eric had met. Her young girl crush on him had turned into a teenage crush until he had joined the SAS. She'd been terrified of him dying all the time until he finally quit and moved to the States. Eric had followed him, and Emily had been jealous because she had been left behind.

"Yea. I didn't want Mum to get all fussed about her unmarried daughter living with an unmarried man," Eric teased.

"Thank you for that," Emily said. She would have gotten phone calls every day about it if their mother knew.

"It's not a problem, is it?" Eric asked, breaking into her thoughts.

"No," Emily shook her head. "I'm all right with it."

_Lee Christmas_, she thought. She hadn't thought of him much recently.

"He hasn't really changed at all," Eric said, knowing she was thinking about him. She blushed again, hating that her brother knew her so well.

"Well, we'll see won't we?" she commented. She felt a little excited knowing she was going to see him again.

...

When everyone was getting off the plane, Emily waited for Eric to be ahead of her before she started playing with her hair. She wished she had looked a little better than she did. Her jeans felt juvenile, and her shirt too ruffly. Why hadn't Eric given her the head's up about Lee before she had boarded the plane? She would have changed.

"Stop," Eric said, catching her tugging at her clothes. "You look amazing."

"I'm just wiping off plane guck," she explained.

"Sure," he smirked.

"I am!" she insisted.

"There's Lee," Eric said, pointing.

"Where?" Emily asked, hand instantly going to her hair.

"Yea, plane guck," he laughed after she saw no one was there.

"You're so mean!" she cried, swatting him.

"I'm your brother. Of course I'm gonna be mean sometimes," he joked. He lifted their bags from the baggage claim and pulled them both behind him.

"I can take mine," Emily said, reaching.

"It's all right. I'm capable," he answered. She didn't argue. It was nice to have someone look after her things for her.

"Where's your car?" she asked when they got outside. Eric scanned the line of waiting cars until he found his. He knew Emily was going to hit him again when she found out who was driving it.

"There," he gestured. Emily looked to see where he was pointing, and her heart fluttered. Someone was driving it, and she knew exactly who it was.

"I hate you," she said to Eric, but of course she didn't mean it. He smirked and headed over to the car. When Lee got out of the driver's seat, Emily thought her legs were going to give out on her. That crush was instantly back, and it didn't help that Lee looked phenomenal. He was even wearing the same black leather coat he wore all the time, which Emily was a sucker for, and his dark aviators.

"Hey, man," Eric said, fist bumping Lee. "Thanks for bringing the car."

"No problem," Lee replied. Then he spotted her. "Emmy! Wow, look at you. You're all grown up!"

Emily thought she was going to topple over. He was the only one who called her Emmy. Anyone else who tried got wounded. She did her best to stay upright while she beamed back at him.

"And you haven't changed at all," she commented. He laughed.

"That's what I've been told," he grinned. Eric put their bags in the trunk and closed it.

"Shall we?" he asked. Lee opened the passenger door for Emily, and she headed for it.

"No hug?" he questioned when she went to get in. "I haven't seen you in ages."

"Right," she giggled nervously. She hugged him, and the feel of his arms around her was incredible. He smelled wonderful too. She felt like a dithering teenager all over again.

"You're stopping traffic," Eric said from inside the car. Emily pulled back from Lee and somehow managed to get in the car on her shaky knees. Lee closed her door and got in behind her. Eric was still smirking as he started to drive.

"Shadow missed you," Lee said after a while.

"Poor ol' boy. We haven't been separated for this long before," Eric sighed.

"Shadow?" Emily asked.

"Oh, my black lab."

"You have a dog?"

"Yea."

"In your apartment?"

"It's big enough."

"Oh," she said. She hadn't really thought much about Eric's apartment. She had never seen it. He'd always come to England for holidays and such.

"So what brings you to New York, Emmy?" Lee asked. She flushed.

"I'm astounded she doesn't clock you when you call her that," Eric said. "I got a book chucked at my head for calling her that once."

"Oh, I didn't realize you didn't like it," Lee said. "I'm sorry."

"It's fine!" Emily said, her voice too high pitched. "Really." She gave Eric a dagger look, and he just laughed to himself.

"You didn't answer my question," Lee pointed out.

"Right! Um, well I'm just looking for a new start, you know?"

"Emmy's into fashion now," Eric said, sniggering. Emily punched his leg hard. "Ow!"

"Fashion? Really?" Lee asked, ignoring Eric. "I never would have thought."

"A lot has changed since I was a teenager," she said.

"I noticed," Lee said. Emily thought she was going to die on the spot. He noticed she had changed! Had he always noticed her? No, that's ridiculous. She was a kid to his teenager when she'd followed him and Eric around like a puppy. She was a teenager to his adult when he'd left. She straightened in her seat. They were both adults now. Her mother would be appalled at her eying up someone almost ten years older than her, but she didn't care. What was age anyway?

It was quiet in the car for the rest of the trip. Emily couldn't think of anything witty to say, so she stayed silent. She didn't want to embarrass herself.

"Here we are," Eric said, pulling into the parking lot of an apartment complex.

"Oh, it's lovely," Emily said, looking at it.

"It's New York," he smiled. He parked, and they got out. Lee took her bags while Eric took his, and Emily followed behind them to the elevator. She again felt like that lost puppy following after them. She shook her head. She wasn't a kid anymore. Their apartment was on the twentieth floor, which meant there was going to be a view. Emily was antsy to see her new home when they reached the door. Barking sounded behind it.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," Eric said, pushing the door open. Shadow was immediately trying to jump on him. "Down!"

"This way," Lee said, leading Emily around them and down the hallway to her room. Emily was impressed at the size of the place. Her brother had been right, it was big.

"Thank you," she said as Lee set her bags down on the floor of the bedroom.

"No problem," he smiled. "Good to see you again."

"You too," she smiled back. He left her standing there, and she wondered how she was going to survive living five feet away from him without looking like a complete idiot who couldn't string a sentence together without blushing. It was going to be difficult.

...

"Why does this dog follow me around?" Emily asked Eric when she was sitting at the bar in the kitchen while he cooked.

"He likes you," Eric responded. Shadow was panting and getting his drool on her legs. She felt a little nauseous looking at it.

"I'm not a dog person," she said.

"What?" Lee asked, joining them and overhearing her. "How come?"

"I don't know. I just never was."

"She got bit by one when she was younger. It's a fear thing," Eric explained.

"No, it isn't," Emily insisted. Lee snapped his fingers, and Shadow hustled over to him to retrieve the treat Lee had for him. Lee smiled at her when he caught her watching. She blushed again before looking away.

"All right, tuck in," Eric said, setting down the platter of hamburgers and the fixings beside it.

Emily tugged at the lettuce and put a slice of tomato on it and ate it slowly.

"Eat the meat, Em," Eric urged.

"I'm not really hungry," she said.

"You never are," Eric sighed.

"I'm fine," she said to him, giving him a look.

"Not to eat and run, but I've got somewhere to be," Lee said, observing this interaction between brother and sister. Something was up here, but he wasn't sure what exactly. He stuffed a burger onto a bun with other stuff added and headed for the door.

"Oh, you're literally eating and running," Eric joked.

"Yea, sorry. See you later?" Lee asked.

"Yea, yea. Go," Eric waved him off. Emily gave him a small smile and a wave before he left. She buzzed inside when he returned it before shutting the door behind him.

"So," Eric said after a while. "Lee, huh?"

"What about him?"

"Em, you blush like a little teeny bopper every time he looks at you. I'm not an idiot."

"Is it that noticeable?" Emily asked, mortified.

"A little," Eric nodded.

"I'm so embarrassed," she said, hanging her head.

"I'm sure he's used to it," Eric assured her. "I wouldn't worry about it."

Emily finished her lettuce without another word. She would have to work carefully on her blushing from now on. If Eric saw it, then Lee probably saw it too. She couldn't have that.

"I'm going to lie down," she said. "I'm feeling tired."

"That's because you haven't eaten enough today," Eric pointed out. "You have no energy."

"Eric, stop," Emily ordered. "Please. I am fine. I promise."

Eric studied her carefully for a moment.

"Okay," he finally said. "Good night."

"Good night."

Emily managed to keep Shadow from coming into her room with her and went to lie on her bed. She was in New York. She had a new beginning. She could see most of the skyline from her bedroom window. Everything was going to be all right. Tomorrow, she'd go look for a job.

* * *

**So as you've noticed, I will be talking about Emily having an eating disorder. I just want to put that out there so as not to trigger anyone. Thanks for reading! Let me know if you want me to continue this story :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Trigger warning: Mentions of an eating disorder.**

**I hope someone finds this story interesting at least.**

* * *

The next day, Emily woke up early and showered. She put on what she called her fancy clothes and did up her hair. She was tapping at it lightly and getting ready to exit the bathroom when she pulled on the door to find Lee standing there in boxers with a towel over his shoulder.

"Oh!" she exclaimed, pressing a hand to her heart. He had startled her.

"Sorry," he said apologetically. "Didn't mean to scare you."

"No, no. I just am not used to someone being up as early as me," she replied.

"I'm not one for sleeping til noon like your brother," Lee commented, smirking a little.

"He still does that? How does he work?"

"He does night shifts down at the bar," Lee answered. "It suits him."

"He works at a bar?" Emily asked as Lee moved past her into the bathroom. She didn't know what her brother did for a living. He'd never told them, and come to think of it, she'd never asked.

"Yea. He's quite good actually," Lee said.

"And what do you do?" she asked. She realized after that the man probably wanted to just shower in peace. She cursed herself for not paying attention. She did, however, see the three inch long scar on his side. She wondered how it got there. She also noticed the tattoo on his right forearm just above his elbow. He shifted it before she could see it properly.

"I'm a carpenter," he answered. "Hence the early hours."

"Right. Sorry," she said. "I'll just let you...okay..." She shut the door behind her and felt like and idiot. Shadow stood in the hallway wagging his tail at her. She gingerly moved around him. She wasn't so good with dogs. She made herself a tea and was sitting with it when Lee finally emerged showered and dressed for work. Emily almost choked on her tea. Somehow a plaid long sleeve shirt, jeans, and a tool belt was making Lee look even better than the leather jacket. This was crazy. She really needed to stop it.

"No breakfast?" he asked, looking at her as she tried to regain her composure from nearly choking.

"No," she shook her head.

"That's not how you start the day right," Lee insisted. He was looking at her carefully. "You've lost weight since I've seen you last."

"I lost my baby fat, yes," she jutted her chin out.

"You were never fat, Em," Lee told her seriously. She noticed he stopped calling her Emmy. She looked away from him then. She'd always felt fat growing up. She still felt fat sometimes.

"That's nice of you to say," she said after a moment.

"It's the truth," he responded. He started cooking eggs and toast and turned on the coffee maker. Emily's stomach betrayed her and growled. She pressed her hand into it to make the noise stop. Lee looked at her, concerned.

"You all right?"

"Mmhmm."

Not buying it, he slid some eggs onto a plate with a piece of toast and pushed it over to her. She looked at it, wrestling with how many calories it was and how much running she'd have to do afterwards to burn it off against how good it probably tasted. Her dad used to make her eggs. She felt the burning in the back of her throat at this, the tears threatening to spring forward. Any thoughts of her father resulted in tears usually. It was why she refused to think of him much. She swallowed hard.

"Don't make me force feed you," Lee warned. He was genuinely concerned about her now. Between this and last night, he was figuring out that something was wrong. He would have to talk to Eric later alone about it.

"Okay," she whispered, picking up the fork and digging into it. She had to show him she was fine. She really was fine. Oh God, they tasted exactly like her father's eggs. Lee watched her while he ate, noticing her hesitation with each bite. He also noticed she didn't eat it all.

"Thank you," she said, setting down her fork. "It was really good. Seriously."

"I'm sorry it's been so long since we've seen each other," Lee said. He remembered her father's funeral. It had been dark and rainy, and Emily had cried the entire time. Lee still felt bad for not comforting her then, but he had been struggling with it himself and barely keeping it together. He hadn't known what to even say to her.

"I know you had stuff going on," she said. More picking and moving the food around before she set down her fork.

"Em, you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she answered firmly. "I'm going to go look for a job now. Have a good day."

"You too," he said absently as she picked up her purse, put on her coat, and left the apartment. He looked down at Shadow, who was patiently waiting for scraps.

"There's something wrong, bud," he said, scratching the dog's ears. "And I'm gonna find out what it is."

...

Emily returned hours later feeling exhausted. She had put her resume out everywhere. She needed to work because she couldn't stand sitting at home every day thinking about her father and the fact she missed him terribly.

"Yes, hello," she said impatiently to the dog who was trying to get her to pet him when she came through the door. The apartment was empty, which she was grateful for. She went to sit on the chair and put her feet up. They were aching from all the walking. She sat there for hours, thinking, when the door opened and Lee entered.

"Hey," he said, seeing her. "Any luck?"

"No," she shook her head.

"Well, first day and all. Don't give up," he encouraged.

"I won't."

Lee set down his tool belt and hat on the bench by the door, taking off his coat. Shadow trotted over for attention, and Lee gave it to him. Emily wished she could see the dog for more than just the slobbery, hairy creature it was. She picked at the fur left on her pants from when Shadow had leaned against her.

"How was your day?" she asked as Lee went over to the sink to wash his hands.

"Productive," he answered.

"Where are you working?"

"Just in the city."

"That's cool," she said. Cool? Who said cool anymore? Ugh, she was such an embarrassment.

"What time does Eric usually get home?" she asked when he sat down across from her.

"Depends. Sometimes midnight. Sometimes later."

"Okay."

Lee looked at her thoughtfully then.

"You wanna go out to eat?" he asked. He saw her flinch before recovering fast.

"Okay," she agreed.

"I'll get changed," he said, getting up.

_No, stay like that,_ she thought. He looked good with a bit of dirt on him. She waited for him to come back, wondering where they were going to go and what she could eat without being obvious about her pickiness. That's what she called it, being picky. She was not sick, like her mother suggested.

"I'm just gonna run down to see if Eric wants anything," Lee said.

"I'll come too," she nodded. She wanted to see where her brother worked. They walked side by side to the elevator and rode down in silence. Emily was trying to find something, anything to talk about. They went down the street to the bar and found Eric swarmed with patrons.

"Oh hey!" he called, seeing them. "Just a sec." Emily wandered around looking at the photos on the wall while Lee waited for Eric.

"You want anything? I'm taking her out," Lee said when Eric finally got to him.

"Taking her out?" Eric asked, frowning.

"Not like that," Lee answered.

"I mean, she's my sister, Lee."

"I know."

"You hurt her, I hurt you," Eric warned.

"I got it," Lee said impatiently. "Do you want anything?"

"Nah, I'm good."

They watched Emily examine the photo of Eric on the wall toasting the photographer.

"Is she okay?" Lee asked him finally.

"What?"

"Your sister. Is she sick?"

"No, why?"

"She didn't want to eat this morning," Lee explained. "It was like torture for her. And I noticed last night you were trying to push food on her."

"Oh that. Um, yea. Em's always kind of struggled with food and her weight," Eric sighed. "It started when she was about 14. She's always been going on about it and trying to be super skinny. She's not anorexic, but we've been watching her carefully. It could turn into that if we're not careful."

"I had no idea," Lee said, feeling bad.

"It's not something everyone knows about. You were bound to notice living with her, though. Thought you could use the head's up," Eric said. "It's another reason Mum was worried about her coming here. At home, she could keep an eye on her better."

"We won't let her sink," Lee promised.

"If you've got a way to make her see food as anything but the enemy, I'm all ears. The only other person who could do that was Dad," Eric said. They were both quiet at this. Lee knew how much Edward meant to Emily, to all of them. Hell, even to him.

"She got worse after Dad died," Eric went on. "She is convinced that's why he died, that food killed him by giving him a heart attack."

"Oh geez," Lee said, shaking his head.

"You run this place?" Emily asked, joining them again. She had seen the picture of him next to the sign saying "New Owner!" She had just thought he'd worked at a bar, not owned one. Eric nodded.

"Every day."

"Wow. I'm impressed."

"Thanks. I gotta get back to it, though. Have fun," Eric said, clapping Lee's shoulder. Emily wondered what they had been talking about before she got there. Lee was looking at her with something in his eyes. It almost looked like pity. Emily bristled inside. She did not like being pitied. People's parents died. It wasn't something new.

"I know this great place," Lee said, guiding Emily out by her elbow. Just being touched by him was electrifying, and her previous annoyance at him disappeared almost instantly. She looked back to see Eric watching them carefully. He gave a wave, and she smiled back. Lee hailed a cab, and they drove to what he claimed was his favorite food joint. Emily wondered what it was. When they finally stopped and got out, her heart sank.

"New York's finest pizza," Lee said.

Grease. Fat. Calories. Emily felt nauseous, but she couldn't be rude.

"Great," she said weakly. She followed him inside, and the smell was overpowering. She hadn't had pizza in years. It reminded her too much of watching football with her father. She sat in the booth across from Lee, wondering if they had salad. When the menus came, her heart sank. There was nothing healthy on the menu at all.

"This is exactly what I need after a long day's work," Lee commented. He looked over at Emily, who was doing her best to stop chewing on her nail. It was a nervous habit of hers.

"Mmhmm," she said, not looking at him.

"I'm willing to split one with you," he said. "I'll probably eat most of it anyway."

"Okay," she said quickly, closing her menu. After ordering, Lee watched her clasp her hands together and vibrate her leg under the table.

"You're thinking about your dad, aren't you?" he asked. She looked at him then.

"How did you know?"

"You guys always had the football gatherings. Pizza, wings, beer, chips...you know, all the good stuff," Lee chuckled. "Of course, he didn't know I was sneaking the beer when I was underage."

"You were definitely a rebel," she nodded. He reached over to take her hand in his then, and she stilled. What was he doing?

"It was absolute shit what happened to him," he said, rubbing his thumb over her fingers. "I'm really sorry you had to endure that."

"Shit happens," she replied. "You'd know that better than anyone."

"Yea," he agreed. She knew he had lost his parents at a young age and had been raised by his uncle ever since. No siblings. No cousins. No grandparents. He had adopted her family as his when he'd met Eric, and her father had been all to happy to bring him into their circle. She caught sight of a scar on the inside of his right wrist and boldly reached to touch it.

"What happened?" she asked.

"Just remnants of war," he answered. Edward had been proud and worried when Lee had joined the SAS. He'd done about five years with them. He left shortly after Edward had died.

"Did it hurt?" she questioned. She liked holding his hands with hers. They were warm, and they made her feel safe.

"Only for a moment," he answered truthfully. He'd always had a soft spot for Emily. He'd watched her grow up, and boy did she grow up. Her eyes were accented with green eye shadow, and it somehow enhanced her eyes to make them look even more gorgeous.

"I was scared for you when you were gone," she confessed. She had no idea why she was talking about this. "Dad was too. I'd watch him watch the news, always tense thinking that your name was going to be listed among the casualties."

"I'm sorry," Lee said. "I never wanted to scare you."

"It's okay."

She saw a small piece of the tattoo showing from underneath his sleeve. It looked like a word, but it was mostly covered. She was very curious to see it, but she felt it would be too much to move his shirt sleeve and look at it.

Their pizza was brought at this point, and he reluctantly released her hands. Emily's anxiety returned at the sight of so much cheese.

"All right," he said. "You are going to love this."

"If you say so," she replied. She was dreading it. She watched him put a piece on her plate and hand it to her. She looked at it, wondering if she could eat around all the bad stuff. The thing was, it was all technically "bad stuff." Lee was already inhaling his, and she knew he would be watching her. It did smell amazing. She used to love pizza years ago. Maybe it wouldn't hurt.

"Oh God," she said after her first bite.

"I told you," Lee laughed. Emily ate it all. Then she had a second piece. Lee felt relieved that she was eating. He hoped that maybe it was him, that he somehow made her feel better about food like her father did. He knew Edward would want someone to look after her. He remembered his last conversation with Edward about three days before he died. It made Lee wonder if somehow Edward had known he was going to die.

"If anything happens to me, you look after Emily," Edward had said. "She'll need it the most. Eric will be okay. Rosemary will have her sister. Emily will be lost."

"I promise," Lee had said. Then after Edward had died, Lee had left the country. So much for keeping his promise. Until now.

"Okay, I'm stuffed," Emily said after her third piece, bringing Lee back into the present moment.

"Yea, same," he agreed. He boxed up the rest of it and paid the waitress. "Let's get out of here."

Emily felt all the food she'd eaten sit in her stomach like a ball. She was already having regrets for eating so much. She hadn't eaten that much in a sitting in a long time. She looked around at all the remaining Christmas lights in the city as the cab drove them home. It was just before New Years. Another year without her father. They had passed the three year anniversary a week and a half earlier.

"Thank you," she said once they were back in the apartment. "It was nice to be out."

"Anytime," he replied. She bowed her head and walked past him to her room. She felt awkward around him suddenly and didn't know why. As she sat on her bed, she kept thinking about the ball in her stomach. She didn't usually make herself sick after eating, but it was very much present in her mind right now. She should have just eaten one slice. One slice would have been easier to wear off. Three was way too much. Listening to see where Lee was, she waited by her door. She could hear the TV on, so he was obviously watching it. She crept out and down to the bathroom where she shut the door and leaned against it. She did not do this very often, so she was not sick. If she did it after every meal, then she'd be sick. That was what she convinced herself of. She moved over to the toilet.

Lee had seen her creep by, so he lowered the volume of the TV. When he heard the retching, he was instantly on his feet and at the bathroom door. He heard the flush.

"Em?" he called through the door. "You okay?"

"Yup," she replied. "Just a flu bug." Her voice sounded upset, though.

"Yea right," Lee muttered, pushing the door open. He saw her sitting by the toilet, and she looked up at him.

"You'll get sick," she said.

"Em, tell me the truth," Lee urged. He sat down beside her on the bathroom floor. She hugged herself tightly. She'd already flushed the toilet thankfully.

"I'm fine," she insisted. She was avoiding eye contact with him.

"Em," he said, taking her chin with his fingers and making her look at him. "The truth. I can handle it."

She felt the tears spring forward then. She hated crying more than she hated food. She hated being weak and vulnerable. She wiped at them viciously.

"I'm scared," she finally said. Lee took her hands in his again, holding them tightly.

"Of what?" he pressed.

"I'm scared I'm going to die like Dad did," she confessed. "If I stay vigilant, I won't be at risk." Lee exhaled slowly.

"We can't really know what is going to happen to us," he said after a moment. "But Em, depriving yourself will kill you. He wouldn't have wanted that for you."

"Then he shouldn't have left!" she shouted, making him flinch a little. "If he wanted me to be okay, he shouldn't have left." She started to cry again, and Lee pulled her into his arms tightly, rocking her slowly while she cried. Shadow peeked into the bathroom to see if he could help, but he sat by the door when Lee shook his head at him. Emily let it all out. She felt awful for doing this to Lee, for bawling all over him, but he didn't leave her. She clung to him as though he was the last thing that could keep her from slipping away.

"It's all right," he kept saying to her.

"I'm sorry," she said after what felt like ages. She pulled out of his arms and stood up.

"Em," he tried, standing up as well.

"Good night," she said thickly, going to her room and shutting the door. Lee stood outside of it, debating on what to do. In the end, he figured she wanted to be alone, so he let her be.

...

"How was it?" Eric asked when he got home.

"She ate."

"Really?"

"Then she came home and threw up," Lee finished. Eric groaned.

"Seriously?"

"I'm not sure what to do," Lee admitted. He couldn't get her out of his head.

"Maybe it's time for treatment," Eric sighed.

"Just give me a bit more time," Lee urged. "I think I can help her."

"You're not a doctor."

"I know, but I really think I can figure it out."

"If she keeps doing that, I'm taking her in," Eric warned.

"Okay," Lee agreed. "But she is an adult, Eric. You can't force her into treatment."

"I know, I know. Just...be sure you can help her."

"I will do whatever it takes," Lee promised. Eric made an "I hope so" face before going to clean up and get ready for bed. Lee stroked Shadow's ears absently as he thought about Emily. He'd keep his promise to Edward. He would.

* * *

**Miranda is coming soon, don't worry. I'm still setting the stage.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Trigger warnings: Slight mentionings of an eating disorder. A mildish scene of a physical fight.**

* * *

**2005**

New Years came and went. It was officially now 2005. Emily did not partake in any celebrations. She hated New Years anyway. Once January hit, Emily spent the days job searching. When she finally got an interview for _Runway_, she was ecstatic. She ran around the apartment getting ready the morning she was supposed to go in. Lee had a smile on his lips as he watched.

"I have to get this," Emily said as she hopped on one foot while trying to put her other heel on. "It's Miranda _Priestly_, for crying out loud. This job will boost my career chances by a thousand if I get it."

"I'm sure you'll do just fine," Lee assured her, going over to hold her steady so she could finish with her heel. "Try not to break your neck, though, before you even get there."

"Thank you," she said, finishing and looking at him. It was the first physical contact from him since her incident in the bathroom. She had been very careful to not eat in front of him or Eric since either. Lee had noticed this, which only made him more determined to help her.

"You're welcome," he replied, releasing her. Emily's arms felt cold without his hands there.

"Do I look okay?" she asked hopefully.

"You're beautiful, Em," Lee answered. She felt herself blush again.

"Well," she said, clearing her throat. "Off I go."

"Good luck."

He smiled and waved as she left the apartment. She felt nervous all the way to her interview, but she also felt confident. She'd been into fashion for the last four years. She knew what she was talking about. She'd be just fine.

...

The questions were pretty standard. Emily felt confident when it came time to meet Miranda herself. It would be brief, she was told. Miranda was a very busy woman. Emily sat upright and fixed a smile on her face. When Miranda entered the conference room, Emily felt a sudden feeling of awe. The woman was majestic, confident, and so incredibly fashionable.

"This is her?" Miranda asked, not looking at Emily. The interviewer nodded. Emily froze when Miranda finally turned to survey her. She felt the burn of her eyes as it went over her clothes. Emily could sense a type of satisfaction from Miranda once she was finished. After all, Emily had used Miranda's magazine as a guide for her outfit today.

"That's all," she said. Emily looked at the interviewer, confused. No questions?

"Okay," the interviewer said hurriedly. She gestured for Emily to stand up, and she obliged. She hustled Emily out as quickly as possible.

"So...is that it?" Emily asked. She had no idea what had just happened.

"Yes. We will be in touch if you got the job," the interviewer nodded.

"Oh. Okay," Emily bobbed her head in agreement. She was left down in the lobby alone, and she had a sinking feeling that somehow she didn't get the job.

...

"That was it?" Eric asked, incredulous. Emily had gone to his bar that afternoon to sit and tell him about the interview.

"Yea. I mean, I don't get it. She did not ask a single question. I'm supposed to be her assistant. Shouldn't she want to know more about me?"

"That is definitely vague," he agreed. "How do you feel about it?"

"I think I failed," Emily sighed. Eric pressed his lips together in sympathy as he wiped the glass in his hand. It was quiet at this time of day, which he appreciated since he had just rolled out of bed half an hour earlier.

"Think positive," Eric urged. Emily made a face at him.

"Fine. I am positive that I did not get this job."

Eric laughed and shook his head. His sister could be a joker at times when she wanted to be.

"You talk to Mum lately?" he asked.

"No."

"You should. She's worried."

"About what?"

"Just everything. Call her. Please," Eric added.

"Fine," Emily sighed. She would call when she got home.

"You want some lunch?"

"No."

"Have you eaten yet today?" Eric asked, his tone a little accusing.

"I had a yogurt," she answered.

"That's it?"

"It's something."

"Em..."

"Don't, Eric," Emily stopped him, holding up her hand. "Just don't."

"Okay, well, I never see you eat, and you're too thin, Em. I'm worried you're..."

"I am NOT sick," Emily interrupted. She glared at him, and he gave her a tired, worried look back.

"What are you up to for the rest of the day?" he asked, changing the subject when she got off the stool to leave. He didn't want to make her madder, and he didn't want to push her away.

"I might wander around New York for a bit," she answered, relieved he dropped it. "Actually enjoy the scenery, you know?"

"Good girl," Eric smiled.

"I'm not a dog," Emily retorted, but she smiled back anyway.

"Woof, woof!" he imitated. Emily just shook her head at her brother as she walked away. She felt better once she was outside, so she decided to walk for a bit. Her feet made their way to a café after a while, and she stopped in. A tea never hurt anyone. A yogurt and a tea that day. See? She was fine, not sick. After getting her tea to go, she walked by a job site where a bunch of men were milling around and laughing with one another.

"Damn, girl, you fine," one said to her as she walked past.

Emily just bowed her head, trying to be invisible. She got some wolf whistles as she kept walking.

"Get back to work you bunch of animals," Lee's voice called, making Emily stop in her tracks. She shielded her eyes from the sun to see Lee up on some scaffolding and glaring at his crew.

"Hi," she said to him. He looked surprised to see her.

"What are you doing in this neck of the woods?" he asked.

"Just walking."

"Dude, you know this girl?" the first guy who said she was fine asked.

"Tyler, take your hammer and aim it at that nail that's right in front of you," Lee instructed. "It's called work." He climbed down to talk to Emily, moving her away from the men.

"Have they never seen a woman before?" she asked, joking.

"They have no respect," he said, shaking his head. He had to admit they were right, though. Emily did look pretty good in front of him. She'd always looked good really. He'd just started noticing more the older she got. "How did the interview go?"

"Oh, that. I have no idea. I got a once over from Miranda herself but that was it. I doubt I got the job."

"Don't be so hard on yourself," he told her. "I'm sure you did fine."

"I wish I was as confident," she said, sighing. Lee wanted to give her a hug, but he didn't know if she would want one from him since the last time he held her she had been embarrassed after.

"I don't mean to keep you from work. I should go," she gestured.

"All right," he agreed. "See you at home."

"Actually, I'm going to be out tonight, but I'm sure we'll cross paths at some point," she smiled.

"Sounds good," he smiled back. "Have fun."

Emily realized after she left that she should have asked him to come with her, but she figured he wouldn't like clubs anyhow. He just didn't seem like that type of guy. Also, it would be much too forward of her. Even though she found herself admiring him again, she made it clear in her mind that nothing was going to happen. He was her brother's friend. That was all.

...

"Where's Em?" Eric asked Lee when he got home. It was after two a.m., and Lee was trying not to worry about her. She was an adult after all. Maybe she met someone. He found it interesting that thinking of her with some other guy bothered him so much.

"She's out," Lee answered.

"This late?"

"Yea. I was thinking the same thing."

"Do you know where she was going?"

"No. She didn't say."

Eric drummed his fingers on the countertop, thinking. He didn't want to worry about her, but he couldn't help it.

"Shit," he said. "If she went out, that means she didn't call Mum."

"And?"

"Oh, she'll be all over my ass for what's going on over here again," Eric sighed. He went over to the cupboard and noticed the note there. He picked it up, reading it.

"What is it?" Lee asked.

"She left me a note. 'Called Mum, don't worry. I'm out at The Marquee. Back by 2.'"

They both looked at the clock, and it was now past 2:30.

"I feel like taking a drive," Lee said.

"I'll hang tight to see if she comes home. I'll call you if she shows up," Eric promised.

"Thanks," Lee said, grabbing his coat and heading out the door.

...

Emily realized the time and gave a start. She was later than her note said. Knowing her brother, he'd be panicking. If she didn't get home soon, he'd probably file a missing person's report with the police. She did her best to push through the crowd of dancers, but she got stopped by a guy.

"You're sensational," he said loudly, grabbing her arms.

"Oh, I'm sorry but I'm leaving," she shouted over the music. His grip tightened, which began to scare her a little.

"Just one dance," he insisted.

"No thank you."

He refused to let go, and Emily now wasn't sure what to do. She spun her head around, looking for someone to help her get free of this guy, but no one was paying attention.

"I really have to leave now," she said. He still wouldn't release her, and she started to panic. All of a sudden, Lee was there, and he pulled the man's hands off of her in one fell swoop.

"She's taken," Lee said over the noise. The man looked as though he was going to get into it, but then he decided not to. He glared at Lee as he moved on, and Emily felt relief when he disappeared into the crowd. Lee reached for her hand and pulled her with him towards the door through the crowd. Once outside, she could hardly hear over her ears ringing from the loud music.

"How did you find me?" she asked when the ringing started to dull down a bit. Lee was walking them to Eric's car.

"I got lucky," he answered.

"Hey!" a voice shouted, and they both turned to see the man from inside the club coming towards them. He had a gun aimed at them. Emily clutched at Lee's arm, feeling scared. Was he really that mad because she wouldn't dance with him?

"Give me your wallets," he ordered.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you," Lee said calmly.

"Hand 'em over, now!"

"Lee..." Emily started when he released her hand and took two steps towards the man.

"Back off!" the man cried. Lee was very quick. He got a hold of the hand holding the gun and twisted it right around. Emily heard the crack and snap from where she stood, and she felt nauseous. The man threw a punch at Lee, who ducked it easily as well as the other attempts to both hit and kick him. He flung the man into the lamppost before bringing him back to punch the man in the face and kick his knee cap, making him go down. Lee took the bullet out of the gun and tossed the gun aside. He held up the one bullet in front of the man's face.

"So, who were you gonna shoot first?" he asked. The man could barely answer through the pain.

"Lee, come on," Emily urged. She didn't want to be seen. She didn't want Lee to hurt him any further.

"Ahhhh," the man whimpered when Lee dug his fingers into his neck hard.

"Lee!"

"You're lucky she's here," Lee told him quietly. "Get lost." He released the man, who jumped to his feet, grabbed his now empty gun, and hobbled off quickly. Lee tossed the bullet away, and it bounced, clattering on the pavement. He opened the passenger side door for Emily so she could get in. She was shaking from the experience and staring at Lee because she didn't know how he could be so calm in such a situation.

"You all right?" he asked her after he started driving away.

"I'm okay," she answered. She played with her hair nervously. A part of her felt angry for being vulnerable, for needing help.

"You sure?"

"I would have figured it out," she blurted out. "With that guy. Inside." She saw him look at her in her peripheral vision, surprised.

"You would have," he repeated.

"Yes."

"So what would you have done?" he asked, curious.

"I don't know. Something. I'm not a vulnerable person. I don't need saving," she went on rather aggressively. She got mad when she was afraid. It was a defensive tactic.

"I get it," Lee nodded. "I'm sorry I made you feel that way."

"Well, I appreciate it all the same," she said, feeling bad for biting his head off. In reality, she didn't know how she would have fended for herself. The guy had been very strong, and if Lee hadn't come along, who knew what would have happened to her? He'd had a gun for crying out loud! The rest of the drive was quiet. When they got home, Eric was waiting for them.

"What happened?" he demanded upon seeing Lee's knuckles scraped and bloody.

"Just an over friendly chap," Lee answered. "No big deal."

"But he was worth hitting," Eric pointed out.

"I'm fine, Eric," Emily cut in. "I'm here now. It's done. I'm safe. You can relax." She walked past him and the dog, who was watching everyone carefully, and went to her room.

"Still tough as usual," Lee commented once she was out of sight.

"Next time, go with her," Eric ordered. Lee held up his hands.

"I would have if she had invited me," he advised.

"Well, invite yourself then."

Lee didn't respond but went to get ready for bed. Eric stood feeling helpless and angry in the living room. He had to do a better job of looking out for his sister. He had to.

...

Emily walked in on Lee brushing his teeth. She bowed her head and proceeded to do the same. She snuck peeks at him, though, during the process. She finally saw a bit more of his tattoo, and it looked like a raven sitting on top of a skull with the word "Expendable" under it. What the hell did that mean? She was puzzled but too shy to ask. He finished and rinsed and made to leave when she spoke up.

"Did you learn to fight like that in the SAS?" she asked. He stopped, looking at her. He debated about the truth, but something made him hold it back. He didn't think she would understand his real job. His real job was not carpentry. He did that part time as more of a cover than anything. His real job was something else entirely.

"Sort of," he answered because she was waiting for something in return.

"It was...it was quite good," she acknowledged.

"Thanks," he smiled.

"I know it was foolish to go alone," she started.

"Em," he cut her off. "No woman should be afraid to go out."

"I know, but always have a buddy," she said. "I know this."

"You did have a buddy. I just got there a little late is all."

"I just wanted to meet people, you know?"

"I know."

Lee took her in then, and he noticed how thin she was in her tank top and shorts. She was too thin, but he didn't want to make her feel bad. She was looking at him and looking small and vulnerable despite her saying she did not like to be that way. He made a vow to himself that he would always protect her no matter what.

"Good night," he finally said before it got weird or awkward.

"Good night," she echoed, his steps fading down the hall.

* * *

**I hope someone somewhere is enjoying this story.**


	4. Chapter 4

**Trigger warnings: Slight mentionings of an eating disorder. Some mild scenes of implied violence.  
**

**Thank you, Guest, for reviewing! I'm glad there is one person enjoying this story :) No worries, I will finish it, but it does help to get some feedback to encourage me to write faster ;)  
**

* * *

Emily's phone woke her up at 7:30 the next morning, and she reached for it blindly.

"Hello?!" she practically yelped, answering it.

"Miranda needs you to come in right now," the voice on the other end ordered.

"Oh. I got the job?" she asked, surprised.

"No, I'm just randomly calling people to come in and work for Miranda Priestly," the woman said sarcastically before sighing. "Get here in fifteen minutes."

"Okay!" Emily said, rushed. She launched out of bed, ransacking for clothes. Upon finding something decent, she threw it on and hurried out her bedroom door and into the hallway.

"Whoa!" Lee exclaimed as she crashed into him. They were a jumble of arms and legs until Emily managed to untangle herself from him.

"Sorry," she said, feeling a bit hot suddenly. His hands were on her shoulders still.

"Where's the fire?" he asked, releasing her once she was steady on her feet again.

"I gotta get to work!"

"Work? Wait, what work?" Lee asked, confused. Emily waved her phone at him.

"I got the job! I have to go right now."

"O-okay," he said as she frantically jammed her arms into her jacket and wrenched her heels on. When the door slammed behind her, he looked down at Shadow, who whined.

"Yea, I know, buddy," he said. "I'm not awake yet either." He went about his morning routine until his cell phone beeped with a message. He looked at it for a moment before exhaling hard. It was time to go to his real job.

...

Emily's brain was swirling from all the information being thrown at her. She had learned about Miranda's coffee and breakfast preferences. She learned how to answer the phone. She learned to never, ever ask Miranda any questions. She learned scheduling. She learned to never leave the desk unmanned or the phones unanswered. She learned about The Book and where Miranda did her dry cleaning. There was much more to learn, and Emily was ready. The girl training her seemed nice but frazzled.

"Serena," Miranda's voice called. Emily paused, waiting.

"That's you," Serena said. "Go, go!"

"Oh!" Emily started, jumping to her feet and rushing into Miranda's office. "I'm here!"

Miranda barely looked at her before throwing out demand after demand. Something about scarves and boots and Patrick and the dog. Emily felt horrified. She didn't do dogs. She nodded like a puppet and when dismissed, she went back to her desk, feeling overwhelmed.

"Breathe," Serena said. "What did she say?"

Emily repeated it all back to her as best as she could.

"I'll get Patrick," Serena advised her. "The rest is easy."

"Okay," Emily said weakly. This was a lot more difficult than she had realized.

"You'll be fine," Serena smiled at her. "You're already doing great." Emily smiled back. She was hopeful that perhaps Serena and her could become friends. She missed having a female friend.

"Serena?!" Miranda called again.

"On it!" Emily said, leaping to action. This was doable. She had this. She was sure of it.

...

On her designated 15 minute break, she called Lee. She had to talk to someone about the job. She knew her brother wouldn't be interested. Her mother wouldn't understand and just ask a million questions rather than listen. Lee at least acted interested, and she knew he'd let her do most of the talking.

"Hey," he said, answering. "How's the job?"

"It's exciting and busy and a little bit overwhelming," she answered.

"Sounds like a job."

"I've already learned so much," she babbled. "And you should see the boots I just picked up." They had been incredible. Just touching them had made her day. Lee chuckled on the other end, amused.

"That's great, Em."

"Wait, where are you?" she asked, hearing an announcement in the background suddenly.

"I'm boarding a plane," he answered.

"What for?"

"To go for a ride," he teased.

"Lee," she said, exasperated. "I meant where are you going?"

"Just gonna help out a friend for a few days."

"Oh." Lee had other friends? This sort of surprised her.

"I do have other friends, you know," he laughed, reading her mind.

"I know that," she said defensively.

"I gotta go, though. I'll see you in a few days."

"Okay."

"Take care."

"You too."

After she hung up she felt suddenly lonely. Without Lee around at home, things would be kind of empty. She was not on the same schedule as her brother, so she barely saw him. It just reminded her how alone she was, and she didn't like it at all.

...

"Hi Mum," Emily said into the phone later that night.

"Emily! It's been ages," Rosemary replied.

"It has not," Emily argued, rolling her eyes. Her mother could be so dramatic sometimes.

"At least a week."

"So what's new, Mum?" Emily asked, changing the subject. They could argue for hours about who was right and who was wrong.

"Oh, not much. Hettie is after me to go to a sewing club with her. A sewing club! Of all things..."

"I didn't know you sewed," Emily commented, frowning to herself.

"I used to. I like it a little but not enough to join a club."

"You sure you're doing okay alone?" Emily asked. She felt bad sometimes that she and Eric had left their mother all alone over there.

"I'm fine, love. You're doing okay?"

"Yes, I started my new job today."

"Fabulous! Do you like it?"

"So far."

"That's great."

"It will open doors for things in the future," Emily went on.

"Lovely, dear. Just lovely. How's your brother?" Rosemary asked.

"He's good."

"You two getting along okay?"

"Well enough. We work opposite shifts, so we don't see each other much."

"You're still eating?"

"Yes, Mum," Emily sighed. She knew that was going to come up. No, Emily was not eating as regularly as she should be, but she did eat little things throughout the day. She wasn't completely starving herself.

"Good girl. I have to go. My program is on," Rosemary said.

"Okay. Talk soon, Mum."

"Bye, love."

Emily hung up the phone and stared at it for a moment. Her mother didn't know that Lee was living with them, and she hadn't bothered to tell her. It would be one less conversation to have. She didn't think her mother would approve. She thought of Lee again for the hundredth time that day. Then she thought of the guy she had met at work. She smiled. He had been really nice to her, and he'd saved her life when it came to Miranda's coffee. She felt a little odd thinking of some other guy besides Lee since she had spent a long time fantasizing about Lee, but it was probably a good thing. She couldn't stay stuck on Lee forever. They were friends. It would be a healthy thing to move on to someone else.

...

Lee thought about Emily quite frequently the next few days. His boss and friend, Barney Ross, was intrigued about her too when he heard she existed.

"Do you like this woman?" he asked after they took down a string of armed men.

"I'm not asking her out," Lee answered, pulling his knives out of the men he'd put them in.

"Why not?"

"It's complicated."

"Everything with you is complicated," Barney snorted. He waved to the others, who were waiting for the signal.

"I can't be in a relationship with someone and not tell them about this," Lee insisted.

"So you're a mercenary. What's wrong with that?"

"Some people don't like that," Lee replied.

"She might."

"I doubt it."

"Well, don't reject the idea completely. She sounds like a great girl," Barney said.

"Can we focus, please?" Lee asked once they stopped at the next door. There was no doubt more men on the other side. His adrenaline was revving. This was what he enjoyed doing, working for the good guys to take out the bad guys and save the world. He didn't expect anyone else to understand.

...

"Oh my God," Emily said, collapsing onto the couch after her work day was over. Lee was still not home yet, and she tried not to wonder what he was up to. Instead, she put her mind back to the guy from work. James. Eric was surprisingly home, and he looked over at her from his book.

"What?"

"This job is going to kill me."

"And you're doing it because...?" Eric asked.

"It's for Miranda Priestly."

"I don't know who that is."

"You're hopeless."

"Name the top players on the Knicks," Eric challenged. Emily stuck her tongue out at him.

"That's different."

"No, it's not."

Shadow hopped onto the couch beside Emily then, and she gave the dog a stiff pat on the head twice before removing her hand and hoping it would leave her alone. Miranda's dog was massive. It made her appreciate the size of Shadow a lot more, but she still didn't like him. Not really. She looked around the apartment, missing Lee despite her best efforts not to. She hoped he was safe.

...

"Ahhhh shit," Lee groaned, gripping his leg. He was propped against the wall, bullets whizzing over his head. He knew the wound was pretty deep. He had almost lost that knife fight with the elite bad guy from the opposing group, but his luck prevailed. He only got stabbed just above the knee on the side of his leg. He was pretty sure it missed his femoral artery, though. He'd have bled out already if he had.

"You hit?" Barney asked, slamming into the wall beside him as he reloaded. The others were spread out, fighting still.

"Yea," Lee answered. "Knife."

"Let's see," Barney said, pulling back Lee's pant leg that was soaked with blood. "Yea, that's a nasty one."

Lee ripped the sleeve off his shirt and handed it to Barney, who wrapped his leg up as tight as he could.

"Doable?" he asked after. Lee tested his leg. It hurt like hell, but he could walk on it.

"Yea," Lee nodded.

"Come on," Barney said, offering his shoulder to Lee for support. Together they worked their way to the evac site. The rest of the team, Toll Road, Hale Caesar, Gunner Jensen, and Yin Yang, met up with them once everyone else was dead.

"That looks nasty," Gunner gestured.

"Thanks for noticing," Lee huffed.

"We'll get you fixed up before you go home," Barney promised. "You might have a limp for a while, though, if not permanently."

"I'll be fine," Lee panted. The choppers landed, and Barney helped him into one before climbing in after him.

"At least we got him," Barney said as they went up in the air. "One more bad guy put down."

"You sure they're all bad guys?" Lee asked. Barney gave him a look.

"Seriously?"

"I just want to make sure we're not actually killing good guys is all."

"Lee, I don't take the jobs if the targets are not cold blooded murderers or what have you," Barney promised.

"All right."

"Just hang tight. You'll be on pain meds in no time."

Lee just grunted in response. He put all his focus into thinking about Emily. Somehow, thinking about her made everything hurt less. He couldn't wait to see her again.

...

Three days later, Eric looked up as Lee limped into the apartment. He frowned.

"What happened?"

"She here?" Lee countered. Eric shook her head.

"No. Her new boss has her doing all this crazy after hours stuff. I've dubbed this woman the Devil Woman."

"Nice," Lee chuckled. A part of him worried, though, about Emily. Her working all the time meant she wouldn't be looking after herself. He just knew it.

"So? The leg?" Eric gestured.

"Knife wound."

"Shit. Will it heal?"

"In a few weeks, yea. I have to lay low for a bit in order for it to get better, though."

"What are you going to tell Emily?"

"I have no idea."

Lee had been thinking about it the whole flight back here. Eric knew what Lee did for a job, but he had promised not to tell Emily. Barney didn't understand why Lee didn't just stay in New Orleans with the rest of them, but Lee insisted he had to put space between them in order to feel he was living some sort of life. Maybe one day he'd move down there. For now, he was content to stay in New York and have a semi normal life half of the time. He sat down on the couch, and Shadow came over to rest his head where Lee's wound was. It always marveled Lee how animals knew where you hurt.

"Hey, buddy," he murmured, petting him.

"I don't think Emily is eating again," Eric said after a moment. Lee looked up at him.

"No?"

"Honestly? No. She's running around for Devil Woman so much I think she is missing the majority of her meals."

"What is this job again?" Lee asked. He had been afraid of that.

"She's the second assistant to a Miranda Priestly. Woman sounds horrible if you ask me. She gets Em to do all this ridiculous work that is pointless."

"But Em is happy?"

"Seems to be," Eric sighed. "I don't get it."

"We can't judge," Lee said. "Not with what I do for a living."

"I guess."

The door opened then, and Emily breezed in. Her face brightened instantly when she saw Lee sitting there.

"You're back!" she exclaimed.

"I am," he smiled. He felt warm inside upon seeing her. She came around so that she was standing in front of him. A part of him wished he could give her a hug, but he knew that would be an odd thing for him to do since they were just friends. Then again, friends hugged right?

"How was your trip?" she asked, breaking into his thoughts.

"Productive," he answered. "How is work?"

"_In_-credible," she said. Her phone beeped, making her look at it. She flushed a hot pink in her cheeks. Lee tilted his head at her.

"Who is that?" he asked.

"Oh," she said, putting her phone down. "It...it's James."

"James?"

Eric was even intrigued by this since it was the first he'd heard of him. He turned his attention to the both of them. Lee wanted to know who James was. He already hated the man without having met him if he was dating Emily.

"Just a guy I met at work," Emily answered vaguely. "I'm going to turn in because I'm really tired and have to get up early tomorrow, but I'm glad you're home okay."

"Yea, me too," Lee agreed. "Hey, did you eat dinner?"

"I had something, yes," Emily lied as she walked away. Lee didn't buy it. He shared a look with Eric, who didn't buy it either.

"It's only going to get worse, Lee, unless we keep on top of this," he said.

"I know. I'm off for a few days. I'll check in on her," Lee promised. His mind was burning with questions about James. Was Emily interested in him? Were they already dating? He'd only been gone five days in total. How had this happened? He looked over at her closed bedroom door and wondered if she was still messaging James. He forced himself to think about something else, but it didn't last long. Why he was even feeling this way, he couldn't understand. He realized that he was going to have a problem on his hands very soon, and he had no idea how to stop it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Thank you, Fan, for your review! I'm really glad you're enjoying this story. I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

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Emily was bustling around the next morning getting ready for work when she heard groaning coming from the bathroom. She stood still, hesitating. When they groaned again, she made up her mind and hurried over to the doorway.

"Are you all right?" she asked, poking her head in. The sight before her made her gasp in shock. Lee was sitting on the edge of the tub in his boxers trying to change the dressing of his wound, and she was horrified at how gruesome it looked.

"Don't come in here," Lee ordered, hiding the wound quickly.

"What happened to you?" she asked, frightened for him. She went in anyway and stood in front of him. He sighed.

"It's nothing. It was an accident. I'm fine."

"Do you need help?"

He hesitated. He didn't really want her anywhere near it, but he also did need a hand. It was proving difficult to change the bandage with only one hand to do it while the other prevented bleeding.

"Are you squeamish?"

"No. I've gutted fish before," she answered. Edward had insisted that his daughter know how to survive in the wild if she had to.

"Ha, okay," he snorted. "It's a little different than fish guts, Em."

"What do you need me to do?" she asked, peering at his leg. To her, it looked pretty bad for just an accident, but what else could it be?

"Just keep the pressure on it while I prepare a new bandage," he instructed. She obliged, pushing down hard on the towel he had on it. He groaned in pain again.

"I'm sorry," she said, easing the pressure off. She felt a little woozy at the sight of blood. He was right, it was definitely not like fish guts.

"Don't let up," he ordered, putting his hand on hers to push down again. "It's all right. Pressure hurts."

"Did you clean it?" she asked when he went back to what he was doing. He hadn't bothered with a hospital because Yin Yang had done a stand up job fixing it up.

"Yea. That's why I was making so much noise," he answered. He worked quickly and was finished changing the dressing in no time. Even though it made her feel nauseous, Emily couldn't not look at it until he covered it up tightly with gauze and bandages again.

"An accident, huh?" she commented. He met her eyes.

"Yea."

"You wouldn't have happened to have been rescuing more women, were you?"

"No," he shook his head. "Just ran into something sharp."

Emily didn't exactly buy it, but she had to let it go. She was going to be late for work. She looked at his tattoo again, doing her best to not stare at his bare chest, and she wondered if it was somehow related. She still hadn't asked him about it. How did one bring that up anyway?

"I'm assuming you're not going to work today," she said as he followed her back out to the kitchen.

"No."

"Good. Get some rest."

"Thanks, Mother," he teased. She gave him a look before rolling her eyes.

"I don't know when I'll be home."

"Ah. Going out with James later then?" Lee asked. He had to know. She paused.

"I think so," she nodded. "I might be a bit rusty."

"Rusty?" he asked, surprised.

"Well, I don't really go out that much."

"I find that hard to believe."

"I just don't," she shrugged. "It's fine. Anyway, he seems nice. We'll see where it goes." James had continued to be very nice to her at work, getting her out of a lot more jams she was stuck in when it came to Miranda. He had offered to buy her a drink that night, so she agreed. He was cute. She wondered why Lee was looking at her funny like that, though. Could he be jealous? No, definitely not. He was in pain. Pain made your face go weird sometimes. He was just her friend after all. A rather handsome friend who was basically three quarters naked standing in front of her. She cleared her throat.

"Off I go," she said.

"If you need me, call," he replied. He refrained from asking her where she was going with James exactly even though he wanted to know. He figured she might find that a bit weird.

"Okay," she promised. Then she was gone. Lee stared at the door for a bit after, trying to get the image of her and this James fellow together out of his head and failing miserably.

...

Emily was really picking things up at work. Even Serena was impressed. Miranda, however, was still testing her. Today it had been about blouses. Emily was to get some, but she didn't know from who or what sizes, brands, etc. She knew it was a test, and she was determined to pass it.

"Looks like I'm going to have to talk to that girl with the freakish hairdo again today," Emily huffed. "Who is she again?"

"I don't remember," Serena said absently. She was looking at her computer screen. "Felicity? Fiona?"

"Fran, that's it. And that nose ring...it reminds me of a bull..."

"She is a bull," Serena chuckled.

"I'm quite confident she is faking that accent," Emily added.

"Um, hello," Serena said, making Emily look up curiously from her desk. Lee was standing in front of her, startling her.

"How did you get in here?" she asked. Had he heard her talking about Fran? She flushed a little.

"I just said I had a delivery," he shrugged.

"Of what?" Emily asked, laughing.

"Lunch," he answered, handing her a container. She eyed it suspiciously.

"It's just a salad, not a bomb," he promised. "It is not going to kill you."

"That's sweet of you," Emily said, taking it from him.

"Very sweet," Serena echoed. Lee looked over at her. "Hi, I'm Serena."

"Hello," he nodded. He turned back to Emily, and Serena gave her the "Oh my God" face behind his back. Emily had to admit that Lee looked quite good in his leather jacket and dark jeans. His aviator sunglasses were tucked in the collar of his white t-shirt.

"Did Eric tell you I wasn't eating?" Emily asked him when Serena reluctantly answered the phone as it started ringing.

"No. I just noticed you left without lunch," he shrugged. He didn't want her to know that he and Eric were a team on this one and knew full well she was not eating properly despite her saying she was. There was no new food in the fridge from when Lee had left for work aside from the usual things Eric got. That was the first sign. The second sign was they never saw her eat at all.

"Did you come here to see what James looks like?" she asked, realizing. Did he just get red in the face?! She stared at him. This was very interesting.

"Nope. Just came to say hi, give you food, and leave," he replied. "See you later."

"Serena," Miranda called. Emily got to her feet. Lee looked between her and Serena, confused.

"It's me," Emily said, already moving.

"But...you're Emily," Lee said, not getting it. She didn't answer him.

"So, are you single?" Serena asked once Emily was out of ear shot.

"I'm not looking to date, if that's what you're getting at," Lee responded.

"Too bad. I'm pretty fun," she said coyly.

"I don't do fun."

"I'm sure I could find something you'd enjoy," Serena said, biting her bottom lip. Lee cursed himself for thinking coming here was a good idea. He'd gotten a bunch of stares and giggles on his trip here from the lobby. He felt like a piece of meat.

"Who is that?" Miranda asked Emily once she got into her office.

"Who?"

"Out there."

"Oh. It's...it's a friend of mine."

"Well, he is a distraction, and distractions are not tolerated here," Miranda told her, looking over her glasses.

"I get it. He's just leaving."

"That's all."

"Okay," Emily said, rushing back out. She did not miss the sexy eyes Serena was making at Lee.

"Out, out, out!" she ordered, grabbing his elbow tightly and marching him out.

"Come back soon," Serena called after him.

"Ow, Em, you're severing an artery," Lee said as they got out into the hallway.

"I'm sorry. Miranda doesn't like surprise guests in her office."

"Ah, that's why she called you in there then?"

"Sort of."

"Noted," he said, rubbing his arm after she let him go. Damn she had a tight grip on her.

"I appreciate you thinking of me, I really do," she said, smoothing out his shirt for him. She was not a fan of wrinkles. He watched her, amused. "I'm sorry. Habit," she blushed, stopping.

"You're different in here," he noted.

"Different how?"

"I'm not sure I can describe it," Lee answered.

"Try."

"You're a bit mean," he said in the end. He held up his arm that she'd hurt to make his point. He had also heard her talking about some woman when he'd come in. It had surprised him because Emily was not usually like that.

"I disagree."

"Hmm. Okay, well, I'll see the real Emily at home later. Don't work too hard," he added, limping away. She felt bad for shooing him out like this, but she didn't want to lose her job either. She got thinking about what Lee had said. He must have heard her talking about Fran. He thought she was mean, and she knew it was mean but said what she had said anyway. It kind of bothered her to have Lee think she was mean.

"Looking forward to tonight," James said as he passed her. She smiled and hugged herself. She didn't notice Lee looking back at her. He'd seen the interaction, and he felt disappointed at how good looking James was. Nothing was out of place on the guy. It did not make him feel better at all.

...

Emily kept thinking about Lee when she was out with James later than night. He would just randomly pop into her mind at the strangest times. She had no idea what it meant other than maybe her obsession about worrying he thought she was mean was just taking over her brain. James did not notice her picking around her food. He did not notice that she wasn't really eating at all. He was pretty into the conversation about his accomplishments. Emily rested her chin on her hand and nodded in all the right places. James was very into himself it seemed, but he sure was pretty.

"Don't know what you even see in him."

Emily snapped her head to see Lee sitting across from her and gesturing to James beside him with his thumb.

"He's an idiot."

She blinked, and the image of Lee disappeared. Great, she was hallucinating about him now too. She looked at her food. Maybe she should eat something today. She had given Serena her salad from earlier that Lee had brought her.

"You okay?" James asked, finally noticing her.

"Yea, sorry. Just had a thought about work," she lied.

"Oh, God. You gotta put it out of your mind when you're not there," James instructed. "Otherwise you'll never last."

"Right," she nodded. Then he launched back into the story he was telling. Emily forced herself to pay attention to him. It was the least she could do. She had to admit, though, that she didn't really want to talk about herself anyway. James helped her stay in the background, and that's where she liked to be.

...

Lee couldn't sleep. He had tried to go to bed early so as to avoid seeing Emily come in after her date. He didn't want to see if her lips had been kissed. He didn't want to see her being all giggly and goofy after a night out. Shadow's tail was thumping on his mattress. The dog even knew he was awake.

"I don't know what's wrong with me," Lee said to him. "She's Eric's little sister. When did that change?" Oh yea, when she turned 19. He remembered the first time he had noticed her, and he had felt guilty for even thinking about it. He should not have assumed that she liked him. He had been pretty certain she had had a crush on him for the majority of her teen years. It had explained why she was always around him and Eric, but maybe she had gotten over it. Maybe she just saw him as like a brother. He stared at the ceiling and sighed. He felt like a damn teenager all over again feeling like this. He heard the front door open quietly. He imagined she had her heels in her hand to avoid making noise. Shadow sat up on the bed, but he didn't leave. Lee figured the dog knew that Emily wasn't his number one fan. Not really sure of what he was doing aside from punishing himself, he struggled out of bed and went to look. He nudged his door open a little, catching sight of her kissing James in the doorway. He felt gutted, but he was almost transfixed. He'd never seen her kiss anyone before. He could tell it wasn't a very good kiss, though, by the way James was going about it. Shadow went past him then, and he tried to grab the dog's collar before it was too late, but he missed.

"Shit," he said to himself. The dog trotted right over to Emily and stuck his nose up her skirt.

"Arrrggghhh!" Emily shrieked. Lee had to stifle his laughter immediately. Good ol' dog. He didn't like James either by the way he was staring at him and getting between them.

"Shoo, shoo!" James was saying now. So much for them being quiet. Lee decided to have some fun and made an entrance.

"What's going on out here?" he asked, hobbling into view. He hated that his damn leg was messing him up right now. He did not want to appear weak. He was not a weak person. Emily spun to see him, and he hoped the sight of him in his boxers got her all flustered like it had that morning. He hadn't missed her red cheeks or efforts to not look at him.

"Just saying goodnight," she said sheepishly, going red on cue. "The dog scared me. I'm so sorry if I woke you."

"It's all good," Lee dismissed. He crossed his arms and surveyed James. "And you are?"

"It's James," Emily answered for him while James bobbed his head.

"Nice to meet you," James nodded, smiling like an idiot. Lee could tell he was nervous, and he was enjoying it.

"Likewise," Lee lied. There was nothing nice about meeting this doofus.

"Um, so...we're just gonna...you know," Emily tried, feeling awkward.

"Dude, what happened to your leg?" James asked, staring at it.

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you," Lee answered semi truthfully. Emily shot him a look.

"It was an accident," she explained to James. When James looked over her shoulder at Lee, he shook his head and mouthed "no."

"Well, good night," James said, his voice a little higher pitched now. "See you tomorrow." He pecked at her cheek like a hen at some dirt before bolting out of sight. Emily shut the door and sighed.

"Were you trying to scare him?" she asked, looking at him but also trying not to look at him. He definitely was making her flustered, he could tell, which he felt must mean something.

"Not at all."

"Liar."

They stood there looking at each other for a moment. Emily was surprised herself that she had kissed James, but their evening had gotten a bit better since his monologue about himself. He was very good looking too, not in the same way as Lee, but still good. Emily knew there was no chance with Lee anyway, so she had decided to live her life and give James a chance.

"So, am I looking at mean Emily or the real Emily?" Lee asked, cutting into her thoughts.

"I'm not a mean person..."

"I know you're not. I think a workplace like that is having an affect on you."

"I...I don't talk like that all the time."

"You don't have to prove to me that you're a nice person," Lee said. "I know we all have bad days or say things we don't mean. Just don't let this job change who you are, okay?"

"Okay," she agreed.

"There's leftovers in the fridge if you want some," Lee called after her as she headed for the bathroom. She stopped, her back to him. He worried for a moment that he had upset her. Emily didn't know how to respond. It was like he knew she hadn't eaten hardly anything on her date. He hadn't even been there, yet he still cared about her.

"I'll think about it," she ended up saying after a moment.

"Okay," he nodded.

"He really is a good guy," Emily said, looking at him again.

"If you say so."

She pressed her lips together and disappeared into the bathroom without another word. Lee listened for sounds of her being sick, but none came. He relaxed. Ever since the first time he'd caught her doing it, he feared she was continuing to do it. He made his way back to his bed, deciding to leave her be. He knew sleep was not going to come, though. Not after seeing James licking her tonsils. He closed his door and did his best to think about anything else. When he heard the microwave turn on a few minutes later, he smiled.

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**I hope you liked this chapter!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thank you, Can, for your review! This is a long chapter, but I didn't want to split it into two chapters...it just didn't seem right to do so. Happy reading!**

**Side note: If you're leaving a review to ask me to update one of my other stories, please post the review on that story and not this one so I don't get super excited seeing the notification and thinking that others are liking this story and then super crushed when I find out that's not the case. (Just fyi, I did not allow the reviews to be posted since they had nothing to do with this story) Thank you!**

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The next couple of months passed, and winter turned into spring. Emily worked hard every day, and she dated James whenever she had free time, which was minimal. She maybe saw him nine times in total outside of work after their first date. She never brought him back to the apartment again, though. Lee figured she didn't want to risk James getting caught alone with him after the first meeting. Lee kept his promise to Eric and packed her a lunch every single day. Whether she ate it or not, he never knew. At least he was trying. She always gave him an eye roll, and sometimes he had to hide it in her purse, but it went out the door with her nonetheless. He still hadn't noticed her throwing up in the bathroom again, which was a good sign. He was hoping that she was back on track and eating properly.

"What is up with you?" Eric asked one night when Emily was out with James. They were playing video games together, and Lee was rather surprised at how well Eric was slaughtering him in their Halo battle.

"How are you doing that?" he demanded when Eric killed him yet again.

"I practise," Eric laughed.

"If you were this good in real life..."

"I'm not joining the Expendables," Eric finished for him. "I like not having to look over my shoulder all the time."

"I don't do that."

"Not yet you don't."

Lee didn't answer as he tried his best to shoot Eric on the screen. He failed. Again.

"You didn't answer my question," Eric noted.

"Which one?"

"What is up with you? You're extra grumpy lately."

"I am not."

"You are too. Spit it out."

"I just don't like James," Lee blurted. "There's something about him."

"It's because he's dating Em," Eric pointed out. "That's what is wrong with him. I've never even met him!"

"You're lucky," Lee muttered. He rubbed his leg absently as his character reloaded on the screen from the tenth time Eric had killed him. At least it had healed nicely, and he was no longer limping. He had gone out on two other jobs with Barney since. Eric had advised him against it, but Lee had to get out of there and get a break from his incessant thoughts of why James bugged the hell out of him so much.

"Give it time. If he's a toad, Em will spot it," Eric assured him.

"Hope so," Lee said to himself. He didn't want Emily to get hurt. Not after his promise to Edward.

"You can run, but you can't hide," Eric said, killing Lee again.

"Oh, come on!" Lee exclaimed. Eric laughed.

...

"Serena."

Emily hurried to Miranda's office. She wished Miranda would use her real name already. Emily wasn't sure what she had to do to get that privilege.

"Yes, Miranda?" she asked, standing erect and at the ready.

"I need you to walk the dog today."

"Okay."

"And pick up the girls from school."

"Okay."

"And get my dry cleaning. Also, don't forget to arrange the meeting for the summer edition."

"Got it."

"That's all."

Emily turned and went back to her desk, scribbling all of it down on her pad. She dreaded the dog out of all of those tasks.

...

Lee was hanging out at Eric's bar later that night, drinking and thinking. He didn't get drunk really. He just liked a good buzz sometimes. He had been thinking about James and Emily again, as usual. He knew he had to stop. Emily was Eric's sister. Emily was off limits. Or was she? He looked at Eric as he worked enthusiastically, laughing with his employees and patrons. Eric had never specifically said no, had he? Lee couldn't remember.

"Oh my God," Emily said, coming out of nowhere and slamming her purse down beside him with such force that he jumped. His hand reflexively went to his right leg where he usually had his knife or gun clipped to him. Loud noises and surprises did that to him. Someone had mentioned Post Traumatic Stress Disorder once to him, but he had laughed it off. He recovered quickly, pulling his hand back to the bar top before she even noticed.

"What's wrong?" he asked. His heart was still racing from her startling him, which was making him think that maybe he did have PTSD after all, but then again, it could be from the sight of her too. She was wearing tight, black pants and yellow halter top.

"I had to walk Miranda's dog again today. The thing is bloody massive! I think my shoulder has come out of it's socket a little," she said, looking at it and frowning.

"So...explain to me again why the assistant walks the boss's dog?" Lee asked, not getting it.

"It's part of the job," she dismissed, waving her hand.

"I don't think it is. I think this woman is using you."

"It's one year, Lee. One year. Then I get to do anything I want."

"Well, you're what, five months into it?"

"Exactly! I'm almost there."

"You want anything?" Eric asked her, noticing her standing there and coming over.

"No," she shook her head. "I'm fine. I just wanted to hang out for a bit."

"All right. Holler if you need anything," Eric said. She nodded before hopping up onto the stool beside Lee.

"I'll be back," Lee said, getting up and heading towards the washroom. He needed to splash his face with water. Emily being near him was getting to him. He stared at himself in the mirror after, looking at himself and wondering what the hell was wrong with him. He sighed and walked out, knowing he had to figure out how to be around her since after all, he did live with her.

"Lee?" a voice called. Lee froze. He spotted the woman waving from the crowd. Oh shit.

"Shit," he said out loud. He pretended like he didn't see her and hurried back to Emily. She was looking at her phone, clearly texting James by the smile on her face. That really irked him. He stood in front of her.

"Help me," he said.

"What?" she asked, giving him her attention after a moment.

"Just go with this, all right?" he said. He moved in a bit closer.

"What? Go with what?" she asked. She felt dizzy with him being that close.

"See that woman behind me?"

"Where?" she asked, going to look.

"Don't be obvious about it," he ordered, moving her head back with his hand. She was surprised by this, what he was doing.

"What about her?"

"I don't know why, but she has been trying to make me go out with her for the last month. I'm not interested. I've told her I'm not interested, and yet she keeps harassing me. I met her at the bloody grocery store of all places," he huffed. "It's like she's following me. It's creepy."

"She's cute," Emily said, peeking at the woman again. She was pushing to get to them.

"No, she's not."

This surprised Emily because the woman was actually quite attractive. Why was Lee not interested?

"Why is it so hard to accept a no from someone?" Lee asked, feeling frustrated. He tucked a hand around to the small of her back, and he felt her stiffen in surprise. Emily figured out that he was trying to make it look like they were together. She was flattered he would think it would work.

"You could laugh at my joke," he suggested.

"If you actually said something funny," she retorted.

"You're terrible at this," he noted.

"She's coming," Emily said, seeing the woman full on now. She was blonde and early thirties. She looked like she meant business.

"Come on..."

"Getting closer."

"Em, I don't want to talk to her."

"Almost here. What are you gonna do?" Emily asked, looking at him. Lee knew exactly what he was going to do. Maybe it was stupid, but he believed it would save him from that strange woman, and, well...he just really wanted to do it.

He slid his opposite arm around to hold the back of her head while his other tightened around her back, pulling her into him, and he kissed her. For a moment, it felt like the world stopped. He barely heard anything around him, and it felt as though he was in slow motion.

Emily was very taken aback by what was happening and almost fell off her stool, but in the end, she closed her eyes and went with it. His lips were incredibly soft. It was not wet and slobbery. It was not forceful. It was perfect, even pressure and very, very gentle.

After what seemed like ages (and in reality only about thirty seconds), Lee stopped and pulled back slightly, his nose brushing against hers.

"Is she gone?" he asked quietly. Emily peeked over his shoulder.

"Mmhmm," she answered, dazed. She was sure the woman was very disappointed that Lee was "taken." She wished she had lied and said the woman was still there, though. She wanted him to kiss her again. It blew James's kisses out of the water. James. She felt guilty suddenly. She shouldn't be kissing other guys when she had a boyfriend.

"Thanks," Lee said, releasing her and sitting back on his stool beside her. It had been very difficult to not kiss her again. Thankfully, Eric had been too busy to witness it. Emily could only imagine what he'd say. Fake or not, it appeared very realistic. It sure felt real. Emily felt a little shell shocked, to be honest.

Lee felt like he was on fire. It had been a thousand times better than he'd imagined it. He looked over at her to see her staring into space, her hand on her chin. He wondered what she was thinking about. Then, her phone rang, and she stared at it.

"No rest for the wicked," she sighed. "Hello?" She jumped off her stool and walked away, her one hand over her other ear to hear better. She did not look back. Lee hated to see her go.

...

Emily had been mostly successful in avoiding Lee for the next three days. It wasn't hard to do really. She didn't want him to bring up their kiss, and she didn't want to be reminded to think about it. She couldn't help but think about it, though. All those years of wondering, and now she knew what it was like to be kissed by Lee Christmas. She hated that it happened the way it did, though. Of course it was meaningless to Lee. He had simply used her as a scapegoat. She wished she could stop going over it in her mind, though.

After a long day of work, Emily was out with Serena in a bar (not her brother's bar) when Lee walked in. Of course he'd somehow be there when she didn't want to see him. She wondered if he had known she was going to be there. Was he trying to talk to her? Serena was instantly alert and focused on him.

"I can't believe you get to live with him," she whined. Emily took in Lee as he made his way to the bar, oblivious to her watching him. Yes, he was handsome and rugged and such, but she was pretty sure she'd always be Eric's little sister to him, even if he did use her as a fake girlfriend to scare off women. It was why she was moving forward with James. She couldn't live off a stupid crush for the rest of her life that was never going to go anywhere. It was time to grow up.

"I want him," Serena said. "Is that okay?"

"Hm? Do whatever you want," Emily answered. For some reason, though, it irked her to think of Serena being with Lee. She had noticed he was not dating anyone lately and was even more curious to the fact that he didn't want to. She didn't know the last time he had dated someone. Had he ever dated someone? Yes, he had. She remembered Miss Amy King. She remembered the crushing feelings of seeing Lee with her.

"Okay. I'm going. Too late to stop me," Serena said, making her way over to Lee. Emily watched amused as she tapped Lee's shoulder and got his attention. She could tell from where she was sitting that Lee was not thrilled to see her. She almost laughed out loud. Poor Serena. When Lee's eyes finally found hers across the bar, her stomach flipped. Maybe that crush hadn't completely gone away yet. She cursed herself. Serena made her way back to Emily while Lee watched. He had a smile on his face for some reason. Emily forced herself to look away.

"He is so not into me," Serena moaned, sitting back down. "It's like he's stuck on someone else or something."

"What?" Emily asked, laughing. "I doubt that very much."

"It's the only explanation. Unless he's not into women," Serena said thoughtfully.

"Oh, he's definitely into women," Emily said, thinking about his kiss again. "I've seen him with women before."

"So it's just me then," Serena sighed. "Great."

Emily watched Lee watch her, and she wondered if Serena was right. Maybe Lee was stuck on someone, but that someone couldn't possibly be her, could it? She felt a little unnerved that he just kept standing there leaning against the bar with his drink and watching her.

"Where are you going?" Serena asked when Emily stood up and headed over to him. Emily ignored her.

"Are you on protective duty tonight?" she asked him when she reached him.

"You're a hard one to pin down to talk to lately," he answered.

"There's nothing to talk about."

"Isn't there?" he questioned. He had been thinking about their kiss ever since it happened. He was almost consumed by it. He wanted to know her thoughts about it. Could she tell that he cared about her? Did she think it meant nothing? He needed to know. He wanted to clarify that it had really meant something to him if he knew it wouldn't freak her out.

"I don't think so. Why are you here, Lee? Really."

"Your friend is quite forward," Lee replied, ignoring the question. "I didn't even know that what she offered was a thing."

"So why did you say no?" Emily challenged.

"She's not my type," Lee answered.

"And what is your type?"

"A woman who knows what she wants but isn't pushy or extremely forward. A woman who is kind and funny but has some kick to her when she gets mad. A woman who cares about her family and friends but also cares about herself. A woman who isn't afraid to be who she is and let others see it too. That's my type," Lee finished.

"Good luck finding her," Emily said. She was about to turn around and rejoin Serena when she heard him.

"I've already found her. I'm just waiting," he said. She paused, meeting his eyes again. They were trying to tell her something, she could tell.

"Well, I can't wait to meet her," she responded.

"You already know her."

She shivered. Was he talking about her? She had no idea anymore. Feeling conflicted and confused, she left him standing there.

"It's totally you," Serena said once she got back to their table. "The way he looks at you. Sa-woon!"

"No, it's not me," Emily shook her head. It couldn't be. She wasn't very good at caring for herself. She definitely was afraid of being who she was and letting others see it. Lee could not possibly be referring to her.

"Right. You tell yourself that," Serena laughed. Emily sipped her drink and looked back over to where Lee was, but he was already gone.

...

A week later, Emily was tucking food into her napkin to throw out later when Lee and Eric weren't looking. Eric had insisted on going out to celebrate his new rating of his bar. Lee was watching Emily carefully, though, so it was difficult to pull off her trick.

"This means more business," Eric was saying. "It's great."

"I'm proud of you, mate," Lee said, clapping Eric's shoulder fondly. Emily nodded and nodded all the while stowing away her dinner.

"Excuse me," she said after a while. "Ladies' room." She stood, concealing the napkin in her purse. She was going to throw out her stash and come back to reload it. She almost made it to the washroom when Lee caught her elbow.

"What?" she asked.

"The purse, Em," he said, gesturing.

"I'm having a feminine problem," she lied. "Since when is it not allowed to take a purse to the bathroom?"

"Don't think I haven't seen you stuffing your food into that napkin," Lee said. "And now you're gonna chuck it in there." He gave her a stern look, and she deflated.

"You don't get it," she started.

"What I do get is that if you keep this up, you're gonna be really sick, and you might die. I will not let that happen to you, Em. I won't," Lee insisted. They were squared off in the hallway. The odd staff member walked past, heading for the kitchen.

"I hit my quota today, that's all," she explained.

"And what quota is that? Nothing? Em, I never see you eat. It's scaring me."

"I eat when I feel faint," she said.

"That is not okay," Lee said, growing frustrated.

"I'm a big girl, Lee. I can look after myself," she snapped, getting impatient with him. He just didn't get it. He didn't understand. She had to be skinny. She had to stay small, especially now with this job. Everyone there was tiny. She'd stick out if she wasn't. She might get fired.

"What happened to you, Em?" Lee asked. "What made you like this?"

"Nothing made me like this," Emily answered, jutting her chin out at him in that defiant way of hers. He resisted grabbing it and giving it a shake. Instead, he grabbed her hips and pushed her into the wall, his face close to hers. She was taken aback by this move and didn't know what to say. She gripped his arms instead. She wondered if he was going to kiss her again. It surprised her how much she wanted him to kiss her again.

"You are beautiful, Em, just the way you are. You don't have to get any thinner. You don't have to doll yourself up the way you do. You have a raw and natural beauty, and I hate that you can't see it," Lee said. "I'm scared because when I look at you, I see this fragile person who is trying desperately to be something she's not. Be who you are, Em. Don't kill yourself trying to be someone else." He released her, then, and walked back to Eric. Emily stood there feeling shocked. If that wasn't a sign that he cared about her, then what was?

"The food thing again?" Eric asked when Lee returned.

"Yea."

"Damn it. I thought she was doing good."

"Have you really looked at her, Eric? She's practically skin and bones."

"She's pretty thin, yea. But she's not skin and bones. That's a little drastic."

"I don't know what else to do," Lee confessed. "She says I don't get it."

"Then make her tell you so you do get it," Eric suggested. "Every time I bring it up, I have to dodge whatever she's holding. She doesn't do that with you."

"I have an idea, but it's too soon," Lee said.

"It's never too soon, Lee. I would rather it be too soon than too late."

"All right. I'll figure it out," Lee promised. Emily returned to the table by this point, and she avoided Lee's gaze. She did, however, stab a potato and shove the whole thing into her mouth, chewing and swallowing it. It was a small victory, but Lee would take anything at this point. It felt good that she had at least heard what he had to say to her. It was progress.

...

Emily was lacing up for a run when they got home. She had to work off the food she ate to prove her point that she was fine. Lee decided then to test his idea.

"Mind if I join?" he asked. It was warmer weather out now, and it was light out later.

"If you can keep up," she teased. It was very difficult to stay annoyed or mad at him she had discovered.

"Oh please," he snorted. He got his shoes on quickly and went to follow her. She pushed him over and bolted down the hall, laughing. Lee recovered fast and chased after her. He caught the elevator door just before it closed.

"Nice try," he said.

"Damn," she smirked. He liked her in casual clothes. The t-shirt and shorts just seemed natural on her. When the elevator hit the bottom floor, she bolted again, and he was hot on her heels.

"Sorry!" he shouted as he dodged a woman coming through the doorway.

"Well, I never!" he heard the woman shout as he exited. He easily caught up to Emily, who was doing her best to prove she was faster. Lee had to admit, she was making him work hard. They ran down streets and through Central Park. After what felt like hours, she finally stopped. They were next to a fountain, and Lee was tempted to stick his head into it just to cool off.

"Not bad, Christmas," she smirked. She wasn't even panting. Lee had a bit of a huff to him, but it was still manageable. His leg was twinging every now and then, which concerned him. He didn't want to hurt it again so soon after it healed.

"You're insane," he said. "How many miles is that?"

"A little over three."

"That's it?!"

"You're not done already, are you?" she asked.

"I just gotta sit for a minute," he said, sitting on the edge of the fountain. She stood in front of him.

"Are you admitting that you're old?"

"Not at all. A sane person knows to take a rest."

"Call me insane one more time," she warned, but she was smiling.

"You used to run with your dad," Lee said, diving into his idea. He had a theory that if he could make her feel better about her dad, then he could get her to feel better about herself, which would maybe help with the food thing. She admitted it before that she was afraid of dropping dead from a heart attack, that's why she was so vigilant with food. He had to change that.

"I did," she nodded, her face changing.

"You really don't like talking about him, do you?" he asked. She looked away for a bit before landing her gaze back on him.

"It just hurts too much," she answered.

"You can't pretend he never lived, though. You can't deny your memories."

"Don't do this," she interrupted. "Don't ruin this, please." She was getting upset. She paced, her hands on her hips.

"I think if you get to a good place with it, then you'll get to a good place with yourself," he insisted.

"Don't shrink me," she snapped. "Do I ask you about your parents? Do we ever talk about them? Huh?"

"Is that what you want?" he countered. "Cos I will."

"I want to leave this alone for right now, okay? Just drop it." She hadn't expected him to just readily agree to talk about his parents like that.

"Okay."

He sat there feeling defeated. It had not gone as well as he'd hoped. Emily felt bad suddenly. She knew he was only trying to make her feel better. She just wasn't ready.

"Last one home has to unclog the shower drain," she said. When he looked up at her, she shoved him backwards right into the water. What she hadn't counted on was him grabbing a hold of her arm and pulling her in with him. She had no idea his reflexes were that good.

"Noooo!" she shrieked. Lee was laughing and holding her down so she couldn't escape.

"Serves you right for cheating," he said when he finally let her go. She leaped out, and he was right behind her as she ran for home. At least she was laughing again.

...

Emily was still dripping wet when she and Lee got into the elevator in their apartment building. He was too, but she felt like he could see every inch of her versus what she could see of him. She hugged her arms across her chest carefully. She was burning a bit from all the physical touching they had done this evening. She wondered if he was going to kiss her again. She shook her head. She was with James. It was time to stop thinking about kissing Lee. The elevator finally dinged, and not wanting to be last and stuck with the awful cleaning duty, they pushed each other around in the hallway, laughing. Emily got a hold of the door knob only to be lifted and moved aside from behind by Lee.

"That is so not fair!" she cried as he unlocked the door. She jumped onto his back, not able to just pick him up and move him like he could with her.

"Cheater!" he exclaimed again as he went down from her sudden weight. She crawled over him and landed on the floor.

"I win," she said smugly. "Your feet are still in the hallway."

"Only because you cheated."

"You cheated first! Just because I can't pick you up and move you I'm suddenly the cheater?"

"Technically, you cheated first by pushing me down before we even left the building for this run, but fine. How about we call it a tie and make Eric clean the drain? There's two of us and one of him," Lee finished.

"Deal," she said instantly. He helped her to her feet. Her hand in his felt so good. He hated to let it go.

"These shoes are gonna stink," he commented as he took them off. Eric was not home to witness their kerfuffle, having had to run down to the bar to help out.

"So pull them apart and dry them," she replied. She felt good after her run. It had been nice to have company too. James was not interested in running. He was all about weight lifting.

"I pull them apart, and they will fall apart," he said.

"Then throw them out," she laughed.

"I can't. I've had them since high school."

"Oh my God, Lee, throw them out!" she exclaimed. She moved to grab them, but he dodged her.

"Don't touch my shoes," he warned in a teasing tone.

"Or what? The shoe police will arrest me?"

"You are the shoe police," he joked.

She lunged again, but he caught her and tossed her up over his shoulder, making her shriek and laugh. He dropped the shoes and carried her away from them.

"Where are you taking me?" she asked.

"Away from my valuable shoes."

"Lee!" she laughed. "Put me down!"

Shadow was watching from the floor with interest. Lee dropped her onto the couch, holding himself up with an arm and looking down at her.

"Touch them, and you'll be sorry," he warned.

"What are you gonna do to me if I do?" she asked. Lee felt this turning into something else aside from joking around. He knew she had a boyfriend. He knew he was no good for her, that she had no idea who he really was, but something kept pulling him to her. He wanted to kiss her again so badly, but knew it was wise not to. In the end, he had to change the tone of the room. He couldn't do it. He got a hold of her foot, and she shrieked again.

"I will do this," he said, tickling her.

"Oh God, stop!" she burst out. He caught her other foot that swung towards his head in defense. Shadow barked then, sensing Emily was in danger. He scurried over to them.

"All right," Lee said, stopping before the dog got involved. "Settle down, buddy, it's okay." Shadow sat but kept watching anyway. Lee pulled Emily up from the couch and rubbed her shoulder fondly. Giving him a mischievous look, she jumped over the back of the couch and went for his shoes.

"Oh that's it," he said, leaping after her and landing gracefully. He was on top of her in seconds. She had almost made it to the garbage can.

"They have to go!" she cried, laughing when he tackled her. He managed to get them out of her grip. He vaguely worried about hurting her since she was so fragile, but she was tough as hell despite what he thought. She rolled onto her back underneath him.

"Lee, I will get you new shoes," she said seriously. "You can't keep wearing these atrocities."

"Don't hurt their feelings," he said. "They can hear you."

"No, they can't," she giggled. He picked one up and held open the small flap in the toes that had started after their soaking, still sitting on her stomach.

"Don't throw us away," he said, faking a high pitched voice. "We still have loooots of life left in us."

"Oh my God, Dad, stop it before you kill me," she laughed. Then she realized what she just said and clapped a hand to her mouth. Lee tossed the shoe and pulled her up into his arms as she began to cry.

"It's all right," he said. "I'm sorry."

"No it's just...he...he used to..." she tried. He held her tightly, waiting. "He used to make random stuff talk to us just like that. I just had a flashback to one time he pretended his coffee pot was alive. He used that same voice you did just now. I...I got mixed up, thinking you were him for a second. I'm sorry. It's so stupid. I miss him so much, Lee. It hurts so much."

"I know," he said, still holding her. "I miss him too." Eventually, she calmed down enough to not need him as a life support. She sat back but close enough to him that their fingers touched on the floor. She felt slightly embarrassed, but Lee was not making anymore out of it than she feared.

"Does it ever happen to you?" she asked. "With your parents?"

"My memories of my parents are very fragmented," he confessed. She noticed he fingered the pendant he always wore. She wondered why she hadn't noticed it before.

"But there is one day that I remember very clearly. It was just a day by the lake, but it was perfect, you know? Dad chasing Mum. Us running from waves. I was happy," he finished.

"I can only imagine how you feel losing them both. It's hard enough for me with just losing one."

"They're never really gone, Em," Lee said, tapping his chest over his heart. "They're always right here."

"You just always know what to say, don't you?" she asked.

"It's a gift."

"Like that was?" she asked, gesturing to the chain and pendant. "I noticed you touched it when you talked about your parents."

Lee chuckled. She was very observant, he'd give her that.

"My Dad gave it to me," he explained. "He said it's to bring luck and keep the person wearing it safe."

"Does it?" she questioned. Lee thought hard. Barney had a lucky ring he wore on their missions. Lee wasn't sure if he believed in luck, but then again, he had a lot of close calls that could have ended very badly.

"I think so," he answered, looking at her. She looked over at his arm at his tattoo again. She decided to go for it since she was on a roll with questions.

"What does it mean?" she asked, pointing. Lee looked down at it. He sometimes forgot it was even there. All the guys on Barney's team had it on them somewhere.

"It expresses how I feel sometimes," he said truthfully.

"So you feel expendable."

"Yea."

"Why?"

"Aren't we all, really? I mean, we can be replaced easily enough in this world."

"That's a pretty bleak outlook," Emily noted. "So what's with the skull and the raven? I don't get it."

"It was my friend's idea," Lee shrugged. "Something about a poem." He'd never really asked Barney.

"Hmm," she said, not knowing what else to say.

Lee felt his arm going to sleep, but he didn't want to move it. Emily's finger was looped around one of his, and he liked it there.

"Well, I'd stay on the floor and talk sappy all night, but I need to shower, and I need to prepare for tomorrow," she said after a while.

"At this hour?"

"Yes."

"All right."

They both stood up. Lee wished he could just take her into his arms and make her forget everything just for a little while, but he wasn't her boyfriend.

"Thank you," Emily said.

"For what?"

"Just being you."

"I don't know how to be anyone else," he smiled. She playfully punched his arm and went off to shower. Lee looked down at his shoes, and he picked them up and threw them out. It was time.

* * *

**I love writing romantic tension between people. Will they? Won't they? You'll have to keep reading ;)**

**As always, I love reviews (but please keep them related to this story)! :D**


	7. Chapter 7

**Possible triggers in this chapter from a scene of a wounded character.**

* * *

Over the next few days, Lee paid attention to just how much Emily was at work.

"It's seven pm," he had said one night as she grabbed her phone that was trilling it's incessant _doo doo doo dee doo_ noise and ran off with it. "What could she possibly want you to do now?" He didn't understand apparently. She said that a lot. Lee did want to understand, but he wasn't grasping it. Emily dolled herself up every day for work, and Lee had to admit he didn't like it. He didn't like that Emily thought she had to make her already beautiful features look better. He wished she could see that she was already gorgeous.

He'd hear that phone go off at all hours it seemed, and he was amazed that she was not burnt out. One night, he noticed a book on the counter beside her bag. She had run home to change after getting soaked in the surprise rain storm.

"Don't touch!" she exclaimed, smacking his hand when he reached for it. He gave his hand a small shake from the pain, surprised.

"Why? Is it going to bite my hand off? Or burn me? Oooh, maybe it will melt my eyes out of my head," Lee teased. "It's a book, Em."

"It is _the _Book," she corrected.

"Seriously? I thought the Bible was _the_ Book."

"It's the Bible of fashion if that helps you understand, and I'm not even supposed to have it here. I just couldn't risk being seen like that. Drowned rat look is not approved by Miranda at all," Emily said, putting her sweater on.

"What look is approved?"

"Please don't make me go into this again," Emily sighed, exasperated. Men just did not get fashion.

"So...what is it about?" Lee asked, changing the subject. He moved his hand towards the book again and earning another smack. He really just enjoyed her touching him even if it did hurt a little.

"Stuff you wouldn't even care about," she dismissed.

"Girly stuff. Got it," he nodded.

"I'll be back in an hour," she told him.

"I'll be gone by then," he said. She finally noticed the bag by his feet.

"You're leaving again?" she asked, surprised.

"Yea."

"Where do you keep going?" she asked. "I feel like you leave a lot."

"My friend needs a lot of help," Lee answered, which was true. Barney needed him to help stop the bad guys.

"You're gone so much you should just move there," she joked.

"He's asked. Multiple times."

Emily's smile vanished then. Was he going to leave for good?

"Are you thinking about it?" she asked, afraid of his answer.

"I have," he nodded.

"Oh."

"I don't know yet, so don't worry about it," he told her.

"I'm not," she lied. The biggest reason she loved living in New York was because Lee was in the same apartment as her. Without him, it seemed bleak. This thought in itself was surprising to her.

"See you in a few days," Lee said, picking up his bag. Without thinking, Emily went to him and hugged him tightly, taking him off guard. He put his free arm around her and breathed her in. If only she wasn't with James. He was surprised when she kissed his cheek before pulling back.

"Be safe," she ordered.

"I will."

She was rather surprised by what she had just done, but she didn't dwell on it. She picked up her bag and the Book then and left without looking back. Lee felt her lips on his cheek for hours afterwards.

...

"You still haven't asked her out?" Barney asked, incredulous. They were flying to their next mission. Lee sat in the front with him while the other sat in the back and either slept or chatted.

"She's dating someone else," Lee answered.

"So? She's not married. Ask her out."

"She's my friend's sister. I don't think he'd like that."

"Now you're just making excuses. Didn't you tell me before that he just said to not hurt her? So don't hurt her," Barney reasoned.

"You make it sound so easy," Lee said accusingly. "Don't forget, she has no idea I do this."

"I don't think it will be a problem," Barney shrugged.

"You don't know that."

"You won't either until you tell her."

"I told my lady, and she gets super excited about it when I get home," Caesar said, winking. Lee pressed his lips together tightly. So the rest of the crew was eavesdropping were they? Fun.

"That's how I get a girl to go out with me," Toll joked. "Makes me tougher and seem invincible to them."

"It is a turn on for most of my dates," Gunner nodded in agreement.

Lee felt slightly horrified. He caught Barney's stupid grin, and he scowled.

"Just leave me alone," Lee said, pulling his ball cap lower over his eyes and trying to sleep. The guys were still carrying on in the back about what battle details got them more action with their ladies. Lee tuned them all out and just thought about Emily.

...

"There's a benefit this weekend," Miranda said after calling Emily to her office the next day. "You need to be prepared. Serena will tell you what to do."

"Oh...okay," Emily nodded. A benefit? How exciting! After Miranda's dismissive "That's all," she hurried back out to Serena and told her the exciting news.

"She's letting you come? Wow, that's huge. Usually only the first assistants go with her. She must be starting to like you," Serena said encouragingly. Emily beamed at this. Any praise at all made her feel better about herself.

"What all do I have to do?" Emily asked. Serena pulled out two fair sized black binders.

"You will have to go through all of these and memorize them," Serena answered. "Miranda uses us to remind her of who is who. One screw up, and she looks like a total fool. There can be no screw ups, you hear me?"

"I got it," Emily bobbed her head. She opened the first binder and began to flip through the faces and names. She was going to be busy for the rest of the week, and it was only Monday. The day got busier, and Emily tackled all the tasks that came her way. She had gotten used to Miranda's tirades whenever she came into the office. A lot could be said from the elevator to her office. Emily became very good at taking notes without a pen and paper. She did get tired of the coat and purse getting slammed on her desk every morning, but Emily knew it was the job. You did the job if you wanted to advance. Every now and then, though, her mind would struggle with the fact that she wasn't doing enough or well enough at her job. It made her harden her resolve to be the best no matter what it took.

...

"What the hell are you doing?" Eric asked, seeing Emily with the binders later that week.

"Studying," she answered.

"For what?" he asked, peeking at the sheets. "A history lesson on people I've never even heard of?"

"Miranda needs to know who everyone at the benefit is, and I'm to help her with that," Emily answered.

"She can't even be bothered to remember them herself?!" Eric asked, shocked.

"She's very busy, Eric. That's why she has Serena and I."

"And this is the type of work you want to be doing? I thought you wanted to be in fashion," Eric said, confused.

"I am in fashion. This is a stepping stone," Emily insisted. "One day, I'll be the first assistant, and I will get to go to Paris with Miranda in the fall." She had found this out from Serena earlier. Fashion Week just sounded glorious. She hoped to go next year.

"I hope you're right cos this all seems to me like it's just leg work for a bossy lady," Eric noted.

"I have to study, so if you're going to keep knocking on my boss, then go elsewhere," she ordered.

"Fine, fine," he said, raising his hands and walking away. "Oh, and call Mum. She thinks you're dead."

"I will."

Emily dreaded talking to her mother. It was always questions about if she was eating or not or if she had found a boyfriend. Emily had not told her about James because she didn't want the harassment and the million questions. Besides, she wasn't even really sure if James wanted the label of boyfriend. They had never discussed it.

"Get off!" Emily shouted at Shadow, who had tried to stick his snout on the sheets of the binder. He whined and backed away, looking sad. Emily didn't look at him because she didn't want to feel bad. The dog had been working on her soft spot for a while now, but Emily was not ready to give in. She felt agitated for some reason. She missed Lee, and she wondered if he was okay. He hadn't answered her messages, and she had a bad feeling he was somehow hurt again. She desperately hoped not. She couldn't bear to see him hurt again.

...

"Hang in there, Toll," Lee said. He and Gunner had Toll on either side of them as they hurried back to Barney's plane. Lee had been very lucky to dodge the bullet that was meant for him. Unfortunately, Toll had been behind him, and it struck him in the chest where the armor was not protecting him. Lee couldn't tell if it had hit organs or not. They were trying to get him out of there before someone else spotted them and shot at them.

"So'm bitch," Toll groaned, slurring. Blood was coming out his mouth now.

"Barney!" Lee shouted into his comm. "Toll's hit. He's crashing. Start the plane!"

They had split up to finish this mission. Barney, Yin Yang, and Caesar were already back at the plane while Lee, Toll, and Gunner cleaned up the stragglers. They were in Romania this time. The plane came into view, and it was running. Caesar was waiting to help, and they lifted Toll inside before climbing in after him. Yin Yang looked at the wound and began to work on it.

"What happened?" Barney asked, twisting in his seat as the plane rose. Lee wished he'd keep his eyes on the damn sky in front of him.

"Stray bullet," Lee answered. He felt his adrenaline pumping. That had almost been him. He could be lying there choking and bleeding right now. He swallowed.

"I've stopped the bleeding," Yin Yang announced. "We need a hospital soon, though."

"I'll land in a safe zone," Barney called back to them. Lee felt Toll's hand squeeze his tighter, his eyes looking at him. There was fear there, and it bothered Lee greatly to see one of his toughest teammates having that much fear in his eyes.

"You're gonna be all right, buddy," Lee promised. "You're not dying today."

He hoped to God he was right.

...

Three days later, it was Saturday, the day of the benefit. Emily had her dresses on her bed, and she looked at all three of them, debating which one to pick. Eric was getting ready to go down to work, and Lee was still not back yet. She still hadn't heard from him either. She tried not to fret over it.

"Got your faces all memorized?" Eric asked, poking his head into her room.

"Yes."

He looked at his sister, and he could tell she still wasn't eating properly. He didn't know how to bring it up with her, though, since she just got angry with him. Emily knew her brother was thinking about her weight, and she waited for him to say something. When he didn't, she was surprised.

"I like the last one," Eric said after a moment, gesturing.

"Really?" Emily asked. It was a dark green halter top style dress. It was a bit clingy, but it did her justice.

"Yea."

"Thanks."

"No problem. Have fun tonight."

"I will."

He gave her a grin before disappearing again. She heard him go out and shut the door behind him. She had six hours before she had to leave. She had no idea what to do with them. In the end, she decided to go for a run because she had eaten over her quota again that day and needed to get it burned off.

...

Lee walked into the apartment that afternoon feeling drained. Toll had pulled through, but only just. It was making him think about death, and he didn't like it. Shadow came eagerly for head pats, and he obliged. He heard the shower running and assumed it was Emily since Eric was usually at work by now. He went to his room and set down his bag. He ran a hand over his closely shaved head and sighed. He turned his face to see the bruise on his cheek in his mirror. He heard the shower stop. Emily was humming, which made him smile. She thought she was alone. People always did cute stuff when they thought they were alone. He unpacked his bag quietly, waiting to use the shower himself. He wanted to wash off the rest of the dirt and blood that was underneath his long sleeve shirt. He had cleaned off his hands and face after Toll had been rushed to surgery in Bucharest but not the rest of him. Barney had contacts all over, and they were lucky to get a safe landing that day or else Toll would have died. Lee did his best to not think about it anymore. He stepped out of his room the same time Emily stepped out of the bathroom.

"Oh my God!" she yelped, surprised.

"Hey," he waved. She was just in a towel, a rather short one at that. It did not take much imagination to finish the in between. Lee averted his eyes as fast as he could. Lucky James. Lee himself was a bit of a sucker for long legs.

"A warning would have been nice," she said, turning furiously red in the face.

"Sorry. I literally just got in."

"Okay, well...have at it," she said, gesturing to the bathroom before scurrying to her room. Lee heard the blow dryer come on shortly after. He jumped into the shower and let the water beat on him. He ached from the fighting he'd done. He hurt from the blows he had received. His knuckles were a bit chapped as well. He was glad that in her embarrassment she had missed the bruise on his face. He did not have an excuse yet. In all honesty, he contemplated telling her the truth. He finished and toweled off, throwing on his grey t-shirt and green cargo pants before exiting the bathroom. Shadow was watching from the living room floor, panting. Lee set about making something to eat when Emily finally reappeared. He dropped the pot he'd been holding onto the counter by accident, the resounding bang making both him and the dog jump. He had to grip the counter to keep from falling over from the sight of her.

"What?" she asked as he gaped. He managed to close his mouth.

"I don't even know what to say," he answered.

"You? Speechless? That's a first," she teased. Lee stared as she collected her hand bag and the things she was taking with it. Her hair was up but had curls cascading down. She had her green eye shadow on again (that was the only make up he appreciated on her...it made her eyes stand out), and that dress. He couldn't get over the dress. It hid nothing, nothing at all. She pulled her wrap over her shoulders, hiding her exposed cleavage.

"What is the occasion?" he asked a little hoarsely. He hoped to God it wasn't a date with James. He might have to hurt him a little.

"I am helping Miranda at a benefit tonight."

"Oh."

"She will be impressed. I have memorized all the guests."

"Oh."

"James will be there too. You don't think it's too much?" she asked, looking at him. He fumbled for words. Something other than "Oh" would be good.

"No," he shook his head. His brain was failing him apparently. Lucky bastard that James. Of course he'd be there too. He worked there after all. He gave his head a shake again. That's when she noticed.

"You've been hurt," she said, coming over to him. Lee held his breath. The smell of her was making him go crazy inside.

"It's nothing," he said quickly. She grabbed his chin, forcing him to turn his head so she could see it. Upon seeing the bruise properly, she touched it gently. Her touch was intoxicating. He swallowed.

"It looks bad, Lee. What happened?" she asked. She wasn't sure why she was touching it like that to be honest. She wasn't sure why she was leaving her hand on his face either. Her eyes searched his, and there was a hint of something in them that she couldn't make out, or maybe she just didn't believe he'd ever think of her in that way.

"Just a small bar fight," he answered. He never wanted her to remove her hand.

"What?!" she exclaimed, pulling her hand back.

"Hey, he shouldn't have stolen the lady's purse," Lee shrugged. It was a total lie, but the truth was worse.

"The lady's purse," she repeated. Had he been on a date? She bit her tongue to stop from asking that question. It might have been some random girl in the bar. Lee was notorious for saving women. She knew that firsthand. It didn't matter anyway because she was dating James, and Lee did not like her that way.

"Yup," he nodded. The guilt was gnawing at him inside. He hated lying to her.

"Okay, well, it seems that every time you hang out with your friend, you come back injured," Emily said. "And I'd stay to lecture you on that, but I have to go. Put some ice on it."

"Yes, ma'am," he nodded. He tried not to think about how thin Emily looked. He still felt frustrated that he couldn't seem to help her with food. He put the thought from his mind because Emily had seemed so happy, and he liked when she was happy. She didn't know it, but he did hear her cry at night when she thought no one could. He knew she cried over her father. He'd stood outside her door a few times debating on going in to comfort her, but he refrained. He didn't want to be intrusive. Shadow rested his head on Lee's knee then, and he scratched the dog's ears absently. He began to feel jealousy rear it's ugly head when he thought about James escorting her around looking like that.

...

James's eyes almost popped out of his head when he saw Emily. She had noticed that Lee had just about done the same thing, and it made her feel good to know that she was attractive enough to blow two men's minds away in a matter of an hour.

"You're stunning," James said as he touched her elbow lightly. No one aside from Serena at work knew they were seeing each other. They had agreed to keep it that way. It wasn't like they went out all the time anyway. There wasn't much time for that with their jobs.

"Here's Miranda," Emily said, not knowing how to respond to his comment. "See you later."

"Good luck," he offered.

"Emily," Miranda said, nodding approvingly. Emily noticed this was the first time she'd used Emily's name. She glowed inside. She was making progress!

"Damn, girl," Serena said to her when they shadowed Miranda around the place. "You're freaking hot."

"Thanks," Emily beamed. She had worked to keep thin. It was a success so far.

"You are really turning heads," Serena went on.

"Oh, please."

"You are!"

Emily looked around and noticed that her friend was right. A lot of people were looking at her. She blushed a little.

"Ahem," Miranda coughed as two people walked her way. Emily recognized them immediately and bent to tell Miranda in her ear. She put her focus on this for the rest of the evening. She wouldn't risk her job for anything, not even to notice others noticing her.

...

Lee was watching football with an ice pack on his face when Emily came home around midnight. He noticed she had a glow about her. He'd almost forgotten how amazing she had looked even though it had been all he could think about all evening.

"How was it?" he asked.

"I met _so_ many people tonight," she answered eagerly. "I still can't believe I got to go! It's usually only a first assistant thing."

"That's great, Em," Lee said. He couldn't not look at her. She was a bit sweaty and flushed from excitement, and he couldn't stop his mind from wandering.

"Heyo," Eric said, coming in then. He caught sight of his sister and whistled. "I told you the green one was the best. Good choice."

"You helped her pick that out?" Lee asked, astounded. "I had no idea you were capable of having a fashion sense."

"Must be genetic," Eric joked. He gave Emily a kiss on the side of her head in greeting. His eyes flashed to Lee's face and the ice pack, and Lee gave a slight shake of his head to warn Eric to not ask about it. Eric understood immediately, knowing it was from the job.

"I'm going to change," Emily said. "But I honestly feel like I've got nothing on at all."

Lee contained the noise in his throat, but barely. Only because Eric was there did he avoid watching her walk away.

"You get hit?" Eric asked once she was gone.

"Just a little."

"Did she ask?"

"I said it was a bar fight due to my defending a woman's honor."

"And it really was...?"

"Me not paying attention and getting wacked with the butt end of a rifle," Lee winced. He knew he was lucky to not have lost any teeth from it.

"Ouch."

"You're lucky you chose the bar," Lee sighed. It was a running theme with them where Lee would try to get Eric to join his team, but in reality, Eric was right. Living a normal life was better. Lee just wasn't ready to give up his adrenaline rush type job.

"It's never too late," Eric advised. Lee just made a face in return. He closed his eyes while Eric settled in to watch the end of the game with him. The image of Emily was stuck in there, but he was in no hurry to chase it out.

* * *

**I hope you guys are still enjoying this story. **


	8. Chapter 8

**Thank you guest reviewer, Great, for reviewing! I hope you enjoy this chapter :)**

* * *

"I can breathe this week," Emily said a couple of weeks later. She was sitting beside Lee at the table as he ate his breakfast.

"Oh yea? Why's that?" he asked.

"Miranda has gone to Paris for Fashion Week."

"So your phone won't ring."

"Well, maybe a little, but not as much."

"That's a relief."

"It also means I get to spend more time with James since I won't be as busy," she said cheerily. Lee tried not to choke on his food in his throat. James was still around. It really irked him, but he should have known better than to assume that just because James didn't come around, it meant that he was gone for good.

"In fact," she went on. "We are going out tonight. It will be our 12th date."

"That's it?" he asked, surprised.

"Well, we are both extremely busy with work, so we don't get to go out as much."

"You don't spend lunches together at work?"

"I only get a 15 minute break twice a day," Emily snorted. "That is no time at all."

"That's all you get?" he asked, shocked.

"There's a lot to be done," she shrugged. He raised a brow at her. He liked this Miranda woman less and less these days. She stood and grabbed a banana to take with her. Lee had noticed she was eating a little more lately, but it still wasn't enough to his liking.

"Take the leftovers," he instructed.

"I'm okay."

"Emily..."

"Fine," she huffed, opening the fridge and reaching for them. She made a show of putting them into her bag for him. "Happy now?"

"Yes," he answered. "I'll be even happier when you eat it."

She rolled her eyes and put on her fall jacket. It was getting cold out again.

"See you tonight," she said. He waved goodbye, his mouth full of food. He kept thinking about her going out with James that night. He wished he could go back in time and chase this guy off. He was pretty sure they'd be sleeping together by now, and the thought of it made him ill. Lee definitely knew he had a problem, and he wasn't quite sure how to deal with it. Should he tell her? Should he let it go? It was hard, though. It wasn't like he hadn't tried to forget about her. Emily was stuck in his head like a tick on a dog, and a large part of him didn't want to change that.

...

James had implied they would be having sex that night, and Emily was nervous. She'd always known it was coming, and she was surprised it had taken this long. Then again, they didn't spend that much time together, and when they were on a date, it usually got interrupted with work. She thought about it all morning, wondering about it and what it would be like. She didn't say anything to Serena. She didn't want to get mocked for being this long without having any experience. She definitely couldn't ask her mother. Rosemary would tell her to keep her legs shut until she was fifty. The thought of this made her snort in laughter. If only her father was around to keep Rosemary calm about her daughter sleeping with a man. She blinked away the sudden tears that always seemed to come when she thought about him, which was why she did her best to not think about him. She forced herself to think about her night with James instead.

"Hi," Lee's voice said, making her look up. She automatically blushed because of course he would show up right as she was thinking about sex.

"You know you're not supposed to be here," she said to him, looking around. Thankfully, Serena was not at her desk to fawn over him.

"I figured with Dragon Lady gone, you'd have a bit of breathing room."

"To do what? And don't call her that!"

"Eat the leftovers," he gestured.

"Did you seriously come down here to watch me eat it?" she asked, incredulous.

"I did."

She stared at him, and he stared back, a small smile on his lips.

"Ugh, fine," she said, pulling it out and opening the lid. She stabbed at whatever was inside and ate it.

"Oh, cold? Really?" he winced.

"Does nothing make you happy?" she demanded, her mouth full.

"It's fine," he said hurriedly. "It was just an opinion."

"Keep it to yourself," she said, chewing. When he kept watching her eat, she started to laugh.

"What?" he asked.

"I feel like those patients who have to show their mouth to the staff to prove they swallowed a pill," she giggled.

"It's for your own good," he said, grinning. She swallowed.

"See? All gone," she said, showing him her empty mouth.

"Good job," he smirked. Emily stabbed into the container again, feeling hot in her cheeks for some reason. Lee's gaze had that effect on her.

"Oh, hi," Serena said, coming back and seeing Lee. Emily never liked the way her friend looked at Lee. It was like a tiger stalking it's prey. Her protectiveness of Lee did take her by surprise at times.

"Hello," Lee nodded at her, barely giving her a glance. Serena attempted to engage him in conversation, but he wasn't letting her have it. Emily took the last bite of her lunch and put away her container.

"You can go now," Emily said once she swallowed it. "I finished it."

"All right. See you later," he nodded, moving to leave. Serena flashed her eyes at him.

"Good bye," Emily said a little gruffly. She was feeling annoyed for some reason.

"I still say..." Serena started when he was gone.

"Oh, stuff it," Emily growled. She didn't want to hear it. Lee was not interested in her, not like that. He was just a friend. It's what she convinced herself anyway because she knew Lee would never be interested in someone like her to begin with.

...

Emily was getting ready for her big night. She looked at herself in the mirror. Would James like what he saw? Was he only doing this because it was time? Was he actually attracted to her? Would the experience change her? She didn't know. She put on her favorite black dress, the one with the spaghetti straps and silver/blueish design on the chest area. She clipped on her necklace and was working on the earrings when Lee came to stand in her doorway. He couldn't stand her going out with this guy anymore. He didn't know why. He also did not mean to say what he was thinking, but seeing her sometimes made him do stupid things, especially when she looked so beautiful, like right now.

"I hate James," Lee blurted out. There was no taking it back now. Emily turned to look at him, her earring in hand, which was by her ear.

"What?" she asked. Where was this coming from? It seemed very out of the blue.

"He's a doofus. He doesn't know you. He doesn't seem to pay attention to you either."

"And you know this how? Have you been stalking me on my dates?" She honestly wouldn't put it past him.

"No. I listen when you talk, Em, and when you talk about him, it's always all about him. That tells me a lot."

"Are you jealous?" she asked, finally getting the earring into her ear.

"I just think you deserve to be treated better than the way James is treating you."

"You are jealous," she said, shocked.

"No," he shook his head.

"You're a terrible liar, Lee."

_If you only knew,_ he thought. Images of his last mission went through his mind quickly.

"Tonight's the night, isn't it?" he asked, changing the subject. He had assumed that they had slept together by now, but going by her preparation tonight, he realized he had been wrong. This somehow made him feel worse.

"What do you mean?"

"It's your 12th date, you said? You're going overtime with your make up, and don't think I didn't notice you spent longer than usual in that bathroom."

"You're seriously tracking everything I do?" she asked, feeling a little bit outraged. "I think you have too much time on your hands."

"I just know you, Em. That's all."

"So what if it is the night?" she challenged. She watched his face carefully. Something was going on here.

"That's fine," he shrugged. It was so not fine.

"Then why bring it up?" she asked. Did Lee have feelings for her? It would explain why he was acting this way and coming to see her at work randomly. It would explain why he kissed her in the bar that night instead of simply putting his arm around her and telling the woman they were dating to make her go away. It would explain all the times he intentionally touched her when he didn't have to. What did this mean to her? She had been so convinced she was nothing to him. How was she going to change that feeling now? Then again, what if she was wrong? What if Lee was just acting like a brother to her and looking out for her? Emily felt very conflicted inside. Her doubts were taking over any and all thoughts of Lee having feelings for her.

"I don't really know," he confessed. "Just...good luck I guess."

They stood there looking at each other for a moment. Emily could tell he wrestling with something. She didn't want to find out what. She was going to see James. She liked James. If Lee had a thing for her, then he should have told her a long time ago. It was too late now.

"I'm going out," she said, moving to the door and picking up her purse. "I will see you when I get back, if I come back tonight." He didn't respond, but he felt his heart sinking. What right did he have to ruin her night anyway? Did he really think she would be better off with him? He figured he must be delusional. She said nothing else when she left, and he was all alone.

...

Emily gave it an honest try. She really did. They had dinner, and James kept touching her leg and smiling at her. Emily felt more tickled by his touch than anything else. She prevented herself from laughing a couple of times. When they were waiting for a cab to go to James's place, he kissed her. James was not very good at kissing, and even though she had convinced herself it would get better from day one, it didn't. She felt like she was kissing a slobbery dog, and she didn't want to hurt his feelings by telling him so. It also did not help that she kept feeling Lee's kiss, that she constantly compared the two.

"Okay," she said, stopping it all when he touched her a bit too roughly under her coat. "I'm sorry."

"What?"

"I...I can't do this."

"Oh. Sorry. We can wait until we're alone," James smiled.

"No, I mean I can't do this, have sex with you," she corrected. He frowned

"Why not?"

_Because I can't stop thinking about Lee. Because you're mauling me like an animal. Because I feel nothing._

"It just doesn't feel right. It...it hasn't felt right for a while now." It was sort of the truth. She had been adamant about pushing forward, though, because she wanted to make this work with James. She hadn't dated anyone this long before, and she hadn't wanted to go back to being invisible. Now, though, she couldn't push her way through it because she realized she wasn't being fair to James. He deserved someone who was 100 percent into him, and she just wasn't, not like she wanted to be.

"Oh," James said, deflated. "Okay."

"I'm really sorry," Emily said, stepping back from him. "I'm just...I think..." She was at a loss for words.

"I guess this is over? Is that what you're trying to say?"

"I...I think so, yea. I'm so sorry."

"It's your roommate isn't it?" James asked as the cab pulled up. She looked at him.

"Excuse me?"

"He seemed protective of you when I met him, and I mean, you talk about him quite a bit. I just...I just wondered is all."

"I don't know," she said truthfully. Had she talked about Lee a lot? She thought hard. Maybe she had.

"Well, at least you're being honest."

"You're a great guy, James, just not my great guy."

He bowed his head, and she left quickly before he got upset, getting into the cab and not looking back as it drove off. On the ride home, she thought about what she was going to do next. Should she confront Lee? Should she leave it alone? The drive was too short for her liking, and now she was standing in the lobby thinking. He would have questions. He would know that she bailed because it was only 8:30. She inhaled and exhaled loudly. Better to get it over with sooner than later. Her heart started hammering in the elevator and was almost out of control by the time she got to their door. She took a breath and pushed the door open. As usual, Shadow greeted her. Lee was not in sight. Thankfully, Eric was at work. She slid inside and hung her keys and purse and quietly stepped to her room. Maybe she wouldn't even have to deal with it at all.

"Em?" he asked just as she reached her door. She stopped, cringing.

"That's me," she answered, turning to look at him. He looked as though he had been sleeping, but he was still in his cargo pants and t-shirt.

"I fell asleep," he said, confirming her theory. "I wasn't supposed to sleep this long, though."

"Oh."

"It's either really late or things didn't work out," Lee noted.

"Maybe they worked out, and I got home early," she suggested. He just nodded in return, and Emily could now plainly see he was crushed. How had she missed this for so long? When had he started having feelings for her? Why had he never said anything?

"Well, see you tomorrow," he said, going back into his room. She didn't know why she was doing this, but she did it anyway.

"We broke up," she blurted out. She waited, and sure enough, he slowly reappeared into the hall.

"You broke up," he repeated. She thought she could see the tiniest hint of victory in his eyes.

"Yea," she nodded.

"Why?"

"It just...it wasn't right," she shrugged. "It's okay."

"I'm sorry." He wasn't sorry at all, really.

"It's okay," she said again. She could feel something between them now. She was not imagining this. How could she have been so blind? Oh, that's right. Her negative self refused to let her believe anyone could be attracted to her, especially Lee.

"Was it something I said?" he asked.

"No," she lied. "It just wasn't a good fit." She left him standing there and went into the bathroom to wash off her makeup and get ready for bed. She didn't notice Lee standing and watching her from the door until he spoke.

"There she is," he said, making her jump. "The real Emily." She stared at him, her expression unreadable. He was having a mental fight with himself in that moment. Her black dress was driving him crazy, but he didn't want to do anything right after her break up. He didn't even know if he should do anything at all based on his secret life of work.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm standing here," he answered logically.

"Yes, that's obvious, but why? You watch me, you know me, you care about me...why?"

"Because I want to. Care about you, I mean."

"Well, that makes zero sense to me. There are plenty of other women out there who are more beautiful and better than me."

"You could not be more wrong," Lee argued.

"I am not wrong. I work in fashion. I see gorgeous women every day, and I'm on the bottom of the pole."

"No, they're all fake, and you...you are real, Em. That's the difference. Your beauty is real."

She was resting against the vanity, and Lee really wanted to go and pick her up, set her down on it, and kiss her to show her what he meant and make her believe it. He gave a small shake to his head to clear the image. Emily pondered over his words. He was saying opposite things to what she was thinking. Could she just maybe let her negative self shut up for a moment and let happiness happen?

"Were you lying to me before when you said you weren't jealous of James?" she asked. She had to know.

He felt trapped by this question. Where was she going with this? In the end, he decided to be honest.

"Yes."

Even though Emily had known he was lying, hearing him admit he was lying and had been jealous still took her aback. She played with the ring on her right hand absently. It had been a gift from her father, and her father had always told her to follow her heart. In this moment, her heart was speaking to her, and she decided to listen.

"You know," Emily said slowly. "I saw you back home one time with Amy King."

"You did?" he said. It was more of a statement than a question. It was a bit out of left field, but he went with it.

"Uh huh."

"Where?"

"In that alleyway behind the convenience store."

"I see," he said. What was she doing? He waited.

"You were kissing her," Emily went on. "I hadn't really seen much kissing before. Mum and Dad were always so modest with each other in front of us. But you...well, it fascinated me."

"I'm so glad my kissing fascinated you," Lee said, chuckling a little.

"I was so jealous," Emily added. "It hurt a lot." Lee sobered up then, finally seeing where she was going with this. She was relating herself to him and how he felt right now.

"Really," he said. He moved closer to her at this point.

"Yes."

"Why's that?" he asked. He was inches away from her now. Emily could feel herself trembling with anticipation. She swallowed.

"Because I wanted to be her. I desperately wanted to know what it would be like to be kissed by you," she answered. "It looked so good. And when you sprung one on me at Eric's bar, it really was good. It's all I've thought about since. I keep thinking maybe it didn't actually happen, that I dreamed it because really, why would you want to kiss someone like me? I'm a nobody."

Lee wondered what he was doing at this point. Eric had warned him not to hurt his sister. Lee knew he couldn't tell her what his real job was. How was he going to have a relationship with her without her finding out? She'd leave him for sure if she knew. He had a feeling. At the same time, though, he wanted this to happen. He'd loved Emily since she turned 19. He kept waiting for her to get older, and now here she was, old enough.

"Is that a hint?" he asked, deciding to do what he wanted to do, stupid idea or not.

"Maybe," she whispered. James was very much forgotten at this point. She had been kidding herself this whole time to think that her feelings for Lee had gone dormant. She could feel the heat coming off of Lee in front of her, and she wanted it around her. Hell, she wanted more than that, if she was being honest. She just wanted to touch him, so she rested a hand on his chest. She could feel his heart pounding under her fingers, matching the speed of her own. Her eyes were doing all the talking, and they were practically begging him to kiss her, so he did. He cupped his hand around her face and pulled her close, his lips touching hers with such softness that Emily thought she was going to explode. She slid her hands around his back and pulled him in tighter to her, letting him deepen the kiss. She'd never experienced anything like this at all.

"Is that just as good as the first one?" he asked after, his breath on her cheek. She felt hot all over.

"Better," she answered.

"And for the record," he said. "You are not a nobody."

"I feel that way sometimes," she told him quietly. Like right now, her brain was telling her that Lee wasn't going to actually date her, that this was more of a pity kiss.

"You are most definitely somebody to me," he replied, touching her face gently. He kissed her again, fulfilling his fantasy and lifting her onto the vanity, running his fingers up and down her bare arms. Emily hoped her brother wasn't about to come home any time soon. That would be embarrassing. She lifted her dress a little to allow room for him to get closer and to wrap her legs around him. The entire experience was phenomenal. He didn't paw at her or anything. His hands applied the perfect amount of pressure as he moved them around her body, and he didn't act all forward and touch things that would lead to other things, but most importantly, his touch did not make her want to laugh. Her favorite was when he gripped her face. Just feeling his fingers on her neck and cheek was enough to drive her crazy.

"How lucky am I that Emily Charlton chose me over Perfect James?" Lee said after a little while of making out.

"He's not perfect. And I'm sure he would have dumped me eventually," she told him.

"What? Are you kidding? Look at you," Lee said, tracing her jawline gently. "He would have been crazy to do that."

"Yea, well. I beat him to it."

"Before or after sleeping with him?" Lee asked, teasing. She flushed and shook her head.

"Before. I've never even...I haven't..." she trailed off, biting her lip. He tilted his head at her.

"Never even what?" he asked, although he was pretty sure he knew the answer.

"I'm not as experienced as most girls," Emily finally admitted. For some reason, she felt safe telling him this. She knew he wouldn't judge.

"Oh, Em, really?" He felt even more relieved she had dumped James. He had seen the man kiss. He could only imagine what the rest of it would be like.

She shook her head again, feeling embarrassed now. What 23 year old was still inexperienced in the department of sex? Maybe there were lots out there like her, but she still felt behind.

"It's okay," Lee said, touching her face lovingly. "I'm just surprised is all. I figured you had lots of boyfriends before James."

"I didn't."

"Not even one?"

"A few dates. Nothing that lasted longer than a week. James was the longest, but even then we didn't go out much because of our work schedules."

"Well, those bastards really missed out," Lee said to her. She gave a small laugh and leaned her head against the wall, examining him. He didn't want to rush things. He didn't want to be that guy.

"Em, there is no pressure for anything, okay? We go about this however you want to go about this."

"How experienced are you?" she dared to ask. She didn't really even know why she wanted to know. He was surprised she asked, but he was going to be honest. It was the least he could do considering the big lie he was keeping to himself.

"Three," he answered.

"Just three? I figured you'd be popular with women."

"I like to get serious before taking that next step," Lee explained.

"I have to admit that surprises me," she commented. She was burning with desire right now, and the thought of it stopping was killing her, but she also felt nervous.

"I like to really know the person I'm with," he said. "It's not something I do just for the hell of it."

"Do you know me?" she questioned.

"I know you very well, but I also am not rushing this," he responded. He felt guilty at this point because she had no idea about him. None at all. He wrestled with telling her, but his fear of her not wanting to be with him because of his job was too high.

"I knew you were going to say that," Emily sighed.

"There's nothing else I'd rather do than take you right here, right now, but I care about you too much to do it that way."

"But...what if I wanted it?"

Lee gripped her face again and kissed her hard.

"Don't stop," she said when he did.

"Another time," he promised.

"Oh, come on, Lee," she begged. He felt her fingers dig into his arms, and he almost changed his mind until they heard Eric's keys in the door. They both froze. Eric was home early. Lee backed away from her quickly. There was no need for Eric to know what was going on here. He didn't want the lecture. He disappeared into his bedroom just as Eric came inside the apartment. He frowned when he saw Emily standing outside the bathroom and looking forlorn.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Yea, just...thinking," she answered. He watched her carefully as she made her way into her bedroom and closed the door.

"Weird," Eric muttered to himself, but he didn't think anything else of it. Neither Lee nor Emily came out of their rooms for the rest of the night.


	9. Chapter 9

Eric was surprisingly up early the next morning. Emily stared at him as he poured his cereal.

"What?" he asked, seeing her watching.

"It's just a rare sighting of Eric Charlton at..." she paused to look at her watch, "seven fifteen in the morning."

"I agreed to take a friend to an appointment in New Haven," he answered. "Gotta get going early."

"Okay," she nodded. It was almost film worthy, Eric up this early. She fingered her phone.

"Don't even think about it," Eric said without even looking to know what she was going to do.

"Good morning," Lee said, coming in then. He stopped short at the sight of Eric, staring.

"Stop it," Eric huffed.

"Did I sleep in?" Lee asked Emily, worried.

"It's not that uncommon to see me up this early," Eric said.

"Um, yes it is," Lee disagreed. Emily felt frozen in place in Lee's presence. She couldn't stop thinking about his hands on her and the way he kissed her last night. When he moved to pull out a knife from the drawer while Eric was looking the other way, he placed his hand on the small of her back, and she felt that burning sensation again at his touch. She wished Eric was still in bed. At the same time, she still was having a hard time believing that Lee wanted to be with her. _Her._ Of all people, he wanted her. Her brain was struggling to register this properly.

"I'm taking Shadow with me for the car ride," Eric told them. "I probably won't be back until late."

"Okay," Lee nodded. Eric called Shadow over then, snapping his leash on and grabbing his back pack.

"Have a good day, guys."

"You too," Emily said. When the door closed, Lee wasted no time pulling her close and kissing her again.

"That's the first time in my life where I didn't want to see your brother," he said after. His hands were on her face, and she relished having them there.

"Oop, forgot my keys," Eric said, opening the door again. He paused as he looked at Lee and Emily.

"No, I don't see it," Lee said, turning Emily's face as though he was examining it. "But maybe check with your doctor just in case. I could be missing it."

"Thank you," Emily said, and Lee released her face. Eric was staring at them both, frowning slightly.

"You okay, Em?" he asked.

"Yea. I just thought I had a new mole that wasn't there before," she lied easily. "You know they say to check anything new to make sure it's not cancerous."

"I see," Eric said. He looked at Lee carefully, who gave him a cheerful smile in return. "Well, just be careful."

"It's why I'm going to the doctor," Emily replied.

"Right. Well, bye," Eric said. He still looked a little suspicious as he went out the door again.

"I think he's got a girlfriend," Lee commented, killing time to make sure Eric was really gone this time.

"Really?"

"Yea. Just a hunch. He doesn't have that many friends, and he doesn't usually drive to New Haven with them."

"Do you think he figured it out? About us?" she asked, worried.

"Maybe. You covered it pretty well, though, I thought," he said.

"So did you."

"You were more convincing."

"I think he's gone for good now."

"I think so too," he agreed.

Emily launched herself into his arms. She wasn't usually the one to initiate kissing, but with Lee she took charge a little. She felt surprisingly confident. Then again, it wasn't something she dreaded either like she had with James at times. She didn't have to wipe her face off afterwards. Lee's hands went all over her, and she got lost in him.

_Doo doo doo dee doo._

"Mm, I have to..." she said, breaking away and looking for the phone.

"Just don't," he urged, kissing her neck.

"I really do have to," she gasped. He bent her backwards over the counter just as she finally located her phone in her purse. It's persistent ring was making her anxious, but Lee's hands and lips were slowly winning. Without even looking, he removed the phone from her hand and set it down on the counter away from her reach while sliding his other hand across her stomach. She grabbed the loops of his jeans and pulled him in tighter. The phone stopped ringing, and Emily forgot all about work. She forgot about everything. She edged her fingers underneath his shirt and touched his skin, causing him to make a noise in his throat. It thrilled her that her touch could cause him to react that way. Unfortunately, her phone started to ring again.

"Em," he said when she broke their kiss.

"It's my job, Lee. I can't ignore it," she insisted, reaching for it. Two calls in a row was serious. She was probably already in trouble.

"What if you were using the toilet?" he asked.

"But I'm not."

"And if you were?"

She gave him a look, and he guffawed in disbelief.

"You'd still answer it," he said, catching her drift.

"Yes, hello!" she exclaimed into her phone. Her voice went high pitched because at that same moment, Lee had decided to squeeze her thighs just under her skirt.

"Tell them you're busy," he said into her ear. She squirmed, but she couldn't do it.

"I'm coming," she told the caller. She looked up at Lee with an apologetic face. He sighed in defeat.

"Fine," he said, releasing her. She pulled herself upright and adjusted herself accordingly.

"I'm sorry, but Miranda is back early for some reason, and there is already a thousand things I need to catch up on."

"It's all right. You better get going before Dragon Lady breaths fire on you," he said. He was smiling, though. Emily touched his face gently.

"As I was told last night," she said. "Another time."

She dodged his lips before she got sucked back in, giving him a coy look over her shoulder as she walked out the door.

"Damn," Lee muttered to himself. If he hadn't been crazy about her before, he sure was now.

...

"Why didn't you answer my first call this morning?" Miranda asked Emily when she got to work.

"So sorry. I was indisposed."

Miranda raised a brow at her, not getting it.

"Erm...you know. The loo?"

Miranda blinked.

"I don't understand how hard it is to answer a phone," she sighed, making Emily feel frustrated inside momentarily.

"I'm sorry."

"If there are distractions at home, then you need to seriously consider how they are going to affect your career here," Miranda went on.

"There are no distractions," Emily lied. Lee was on her mind so much that morning that she had nearly walked into traffic, had almost dropped Miranda's coffee onto the sidewalk, and had almost got her skirt caught in the elevator door. A part of her wished she had stayed at the apartment with him.

"Hmm," Miranda said. "Get Nigel. I need to speak with him. That's all."

Emily hustled out and hurried down to where Nigel's office was. She ran into James, and she felt guilty all over again.

"Hi," he said.

"Hey."

There was an awkward pause then. Emily hadn't thought about the repercussions of seeing James at work after their breakup.

"I have to go," she said, gesturing.

"Yea, okay. Um, have a good day," James offered.

"You too."

She ran off, thinking that he looked sad almost. She did her best not to think about it anymore.

...

Lee wasn't home when she got there after work. There was no note, so Emily wasn't sure where he was. He didn't usually work this late. She panicked then thinking that maybe he'd been called to go see his friend. Surely he would decline, wouldn't he? He wouldn't leave so soon after they started this...whatever this was, would he? Then her thoughts got darker. Had he decided to move out instead of telling her he didn't really want to date her?

"Stop it!" she yelled at herself, making Shadow jump, startled. She shook her head and clenched her fists. No doubts or negative self-talk today. She wouldn't allow it.

She decided to shower quickly. Maybe it would cool her off a little. She'd been on fire all day just thinking about Lee. She had never felt like this before, not even with James. When she was getting dressed again, she decided to go casual. Something told her that it wouldn't matter to him if she "dolled up" as he called it. It was a lot of work anyway. She dug through her drawer and pulled out an old hoodie that she had forgotten she'd had. She smiled. Then she threw on her skinny jeans and brushed her hair out. It was still a little damp after drying it. Her hand hovered over her mascara, but she decided to leave it off. Lee had said before that she looked better without it. She had a hard time believing that, but she wanted to look good for him, and if this was what he thought looked good, then she'd do it. She didn't want him to change his mind about being with her, which was something she feared a lot. She heard the door open and shut and hurried out to greet him.

"Hey, you," he said as she pushed herself into his arms. She smelled amazing to him, and he closed his eyes briefly.

"I worried for a second that it was Eric coming home early," she said into his chest. He smelled of wood and dust and dirt. Somehow, it was good on him.

"He messaged me and said he was about four hours out," he told her. She stepped back to let him finish coming inside the apartment. He tossed his ball cap onto the table and slung his tool belt over the chair. Then he finally saw her properly.

"Is that...?" he asked, pointing at her hoodie. "Where did you get that?! I lost it like six years ago." She gave a smug smile as she turned side to side.

"You didn't lose it," she said. "I took it."

"It was my favorite," he told her.

"I know. That's why I pinched it," she giggled. He started to laugh because it was so insanely cute and sentimental at the same time. It looked incredible on her.

"It fits you better," he said, grabbing the pocket of the hoodie and pulling her close. She accepted his kiss greedily. It was all she could think about all day. Miranda's lecture about distractions was still echoing her mind, though.

"So," she said, breathless after.

"I need to eat," he said. "Because I'm dying inside of hunger."

"Okay."

She watched him toss stuff together in a frying pan. She noticed he was making enough for both of them, and for some reason, she didn't dread it. This surprised her.

"Try this," he said, holding a piece of meat to her lips. It had some kind of sauce on it. The old Emily screamed at her about calories, but this new Emily, the one who went casual with no makeup, she let him place it on her tongue, and she ate it whole.

"That is really good," she said. "What is it?"

"An experiment," Lee answered, grinning. Emily had the sudden desire to cook something. She hadn't cooked in ages, not since before her father died. They used to cook together, making a game out of new dishes they created. Every time she had tried after he died, she couldn't do it. She had hated food too much.

"What is this?" Lee asked, surprised, when she pulled out some potatoes and a knife.

"You're not the only one who can experiment," she said. Lee couldn't believe it. He'd never seen her cook before. He watched in awe at her speed and accuracy. She cubed the potatoes and set to work on seasoning them.

"I don't even know if the oven works," Lee joked, looking at it. "I have only ever used the stove top."

"Well, if it blows up when you turn it on, at least we died together," she joked back. She handed him the dish to put in after he turned it on (it didn't blow up thankfully).

"I didn't know you experimented," he said while they waited.

"Dad and I used to all the time. He was always better than me," she added. He put his arm around her, and she rested her head on his chest. He just wanted to always have physical contact with her.

"How was work?" he asked after a moment.

"It was okay."

"No fire?"

"Just some steam."

"I see."

Emily left out the lecture she got on distractions. She didn't want to make Lee angry or dislike Miranda anymore than he already did.

"I am going to put on something cleaner," he said.

"Okay."

What was happening to her? She was cooking and eating. She was happy. This was not normal for her. It had to be Lee. There was just something about him that made her feel altogether better. When that small part of her tried to throw doubt in, she tramped on it. She was not going to let herself ruin tonight with her thoughts. She spied his phone on the counter, and she couldn't help herself. She looked at the message on the screen from a Barney that suddenly popped up.

**Need you tomorrow. Will pick you up. Flying by at 0800.**

Emily felt her heart sank. So he was leaving again. His friend must be Barney. What were they doing flying though? Didn't Lee just go visit Barney? She jumped back when she heard Lee returning. She blushed, hoping he hadn't seen her reading his phone.

"Smells amazing. Almost done?" he asked her.

"Almost," she answered. He picked up his phone, looking at it briefly before typing back a response. Then he put it back into his back pocket. She wondered why he didn't mention that he was leaving. He came around behind her and hugged her from behind. She pressed her face into his arm, breathing him in. They stayed that way until her potatoes were finished. Lee reheated his jumble of meat and onions and sauce, and they finally sat to eat.

"Oh God," he moaned, trying her dish. "Em, you've been holding out on me!"

"It's Dad's recipe," she smiled. "An experiment that was successful." She ate gingerly and slowly. Her mind was silent for once, and the meal was actually enjoyable.

"You're hungry," he noted, looking at her. He felt huge relief at this. Maybe he had made a break through with her.

"I am," she agreed. "It's been a long time since I felt hungry."

"I hope it doesn't take that long again," he said. Emily didn't respond. Her inner voice came and went at times. It was usually always present, but around Lee, it was quiet. They did dishes afterwards, and of course she started a water fight that ended in her getting sprayed by the tap extension. Then they were kissing again and again and again. Lee was still taking it slow and being respectful. Even though Emily wanted more, she loved the fact that he was so careful.

"Is it bad that I don't want Eric to come home tonight?" she asked when they were tangled up on the couch. There was a movie on in the background.

"I know the feeling."

"Are you leaving tomorrow?" she asked, having to know. The message from his phone were still in her mind. A slight shadow crossed his face, but it was so brief that she almost missed it.

"I am, yes." He wondered how she knew.

"I'm sorry," she said. "I saw the message on your screen when it came in."

Lee panicked, wondering what else she had seen. There were messages on his phone about kill shots and take downs that he and Barney went on about in jest.

"It's all right."

"I didn't snoop. Honest."

"I know," he laughed. She would be saying a lot more if she had. He relaxed.

"I don't want you to go," she said.

"I don't want to go either, but I have to."

"You could just not," she suggested, looking at him hopefully.

"It'll be a short trip," he promised.

"Does your friend fly? It sounded like he does."

"Yea, he does."

"I didn't realize you went on a plane with him."

"Sometimes we just go for a trip somewhere together, just to get away from it all. This time we're going to help one of his friends in L.A.," Lee lied. He hated lying to her.

"Lucky. You can go wherever you want," she sighed. Lee kept waiting for the question of how he knew Barney and what they did together. He felt bad for lying (well, keeping back the details...he did tell sort of truths about it). He just didn't want her to hate him or be afraid of him. She didn't say anything else, and he kept quiet, holding her close. They stayed that way until Eric came home, and Emily moved to the chair across the room. Eric chatted about his trip, seemingly oblivious to Lee and Emily's secret. Emily preferred it that way for now. Until she knew what it even was, she didn't want anyone else to know.

...

On the plane with Barney and the others, Lee thought of Emily that morning when he crept in to say goodbye. She had briefly stirred when he kissed her cheek, but she hadn't woken up. He'd left her a note on her night stand. For some reason, as they flew, he worried that he wasn't going to make it back to her. He didn't want to cause her that pain of losing someone again. It made him keep rethinking what he was doing. He tuned out the chatter of the other men and Barney's questions. He feigned sleep. He kept thinking about Emily and if she was awake yet. He missed her.

...

Emily had Lee's note tucked in her wallet where she could read it throughout the day. He'd told her he would miss her, that she was beautiful, and that he'd think of her the whole time he was gone. She'd never gotten a note from a guy before. It was very sweet. A part of her inside kept niggling at her, though. The part that said she didn't deserve a guy like Lee. These thoughts came often, and Emily tried to dismiss them.

"What is that?" Serena asked, seeing her read it for the hundredth time that day.

"Nothing," Emily answered, blushing and shoving it back into her wallet.

"Did James write you a love note?" Serena asked, gasping in fake shock.

"No. We broke up actually."

"You did?! Why?"

"It just wasn't working."

Serena was gaping at her. Emily felt bad she had left her friend in the dark, but she didn't want to tell her about Lee. Not yet.

"Okay, so have you shagged that hottie roommate friend of yours then? Cos that's the only reason I can think of as to why you'd dump poor James," Serena went on.

"No, I have not," Emily answered truthfully. _Even though I want to every single time I see him!_

"But he is into you, right? I mean, I didn't misread those looks he was giving you back at the bar," Serena said. "Did I?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Emily sniffed. Miranda called then, giving Emily and excuse to escape the firing squad of questions. It was a relief just to be given something to do. She spent the rest of the day avoiding Serena as best as she could and James, who had been lurking in the hallways to catch a glimpse of her or try to talk to her since their break up. She did her best to be polite and to be short with him. She just didn't need the drama.

...

"Lee, focus!" Barney shouted. The bullet had whizzed past the end of his nose, and Lee felt a moment of fear. His head was not in the game very well. He was second guessing his movements out of fear that they were going to be wrong and get him killed. He got his head back on before the next wave of men could reach them. He had to get home to Emily. He had to.

...

Three days later, Emily was curled up on the couch trying to watch the TV when Lee came home. She was up instantly and in his arms. He held onto her tightly, knowing that he'd had another close call this trip. He'd asked Barney for some time off. His friend understood.

"I missed you," she said.

"I missed you too," he replied. This time he didn't have a war wound at least. One less lie to tell. He kissed her hungrily. He knew they were going slow, but a part of him wanted to just abandon that idea and take her to his bedroom.

"How was Barney?" she asked when they finally ran out of steam.

"All right."

"What do you guys do together anyway?" she questioned, curious.

"Guy stuff," he shrugged. "It would bore you."

She surveyed him carefully.

"Sometimes I think you're not telling me everything," she commented. He felt his skin prickle. She was right on the money. He almost opened his mouth to tell her when she started talking again.

"But I mean, guy stuff is guy stuff. You're right. It probably would bore me," she dismissed. "I saved you a plate of dinner, by the way."

"You're the best," he smiled, kissing her again. He didn't feel good inside, though. His secret was becoming a heavy burden now. It was only a matter of time before it had to come out, and that terrified him.

* * *

**If you have time to leave a review, I'd appreciate it.**

**Also, if you're interested, I have started a new Lee/Emily story called Strangers in the Hospital. You can find it on my profile or in the crossover section. Cheers!**


	10. Chapter 10

Christmas was around the corner, and Emily was dreading it. She and Eric were going home to England to visit their mother, and they would sit around not talking about Edward but spending most of the time thinking about him and his absence. On December 23, they'd go to his grave like they always did on the anniversary of his death. Thankfully _Runway_ shut down for a couple of days, and Christmas was over the weekend, so she didn't have to ask for the time off.

"What are you going to do here by yourself?" Emily asked Lee, who was watching her pack from her desk chair. She wished he was coming with her. She hated to think of him alone on Christmas. He had declined the invite, though, stating he wasn't ready to go back home yet.

"I'll figure something out," he shrugged.

"I really wish you were coming," Emily said, going over to him and putting her arms around his neck.

"I'm sorry."

Being back home was hard for him. He definitely didn't feel up to looking at the place where his parents were buried or Edward's.

"I can't change your mind?" she asked hopefully.

"Not this time," he shook his head. She gave up, giving his shoulder a squeeze before going to finish packing. They were flying out when Eric got back from his meeting at the bar. When she went to get her hair products, Lee slid his gift he'd been hiding in his hoodie pocket for her under her clothes in her suitcase.

"It's going to be a nightmare," she sighed, returning. "Mum is going to hound me the whole time."

"She loves you," he assured her.

"Too much I think," she said grimly. She zipped her bag shut. Eric was home by this point, and he popped his head into her room.

"You ready?"

"Yes."

"I got a cab waiting for us."

"I could have driven you," Lee said.

"In that traffic? It's fine. Stay out of trouble while we're gone," Eric ordered.

"I always do," Lee said indignantly.

"I was talking to the dog," Eric snorted. Shadow thumped his tail on the floor in the background.

"Right," Lee chuckled. Eric took the bags after giving Lee a sideways, man style hug. Emily hovered, waiting for Eric to be out of sight before kissing Lee goodbye.

"Have a good time," he encouraged.

"I'll be thinking of you the entire time," she promised.

"Ditto," he smiled. He gave her another steamy kiss before Eric hollered at her to hurry the hell up from the hallway. Emily wobbled out, feeling light headed after that kiss. It was going to be a long week without him.

...

Lee spent the first two days of the week feeling a little sorry for himself. It was his own decision, he knew that, but he was regretting it. He walked Shadow and watched TV. The night of the second evening, he dug around in the cupboard for something to eat. He knew he shouldn't live off of take out for an entire week, but cooking for one always sucked. He noticed a container near the back with his name on it, and he pulled it out, smiling. Emily's handwriting was very neat.

**This was one of our favorites that we used to make together, Dad and I. It's been so long, and you know I cried the entire time, but it was worth it because for just a moment, I felt him with me and telling me it was okay. And yes, I ate some of it. I suppose that is your gift probably more so than this actual dessert, but all the same, enjoy. Merry Christmas. Em.**

"Oh wow," he said to himself after opening the lid. Brownies. She ate brownies. She was right, that was his gift. As he chewed, he thought about her so far away and trying to get through her father's death anniversary, and he made up his mind. He pulled out his phone.

"Hey, Barney," he said. "I need a favor."

...

Emily was dreading the next day. December 23rd was the worst day of the year for her. Her mother had been good so far, but Emily was beginning to fray at the seams tonight.

"Emily, eat," Rosemary ordered as Emily picked at her plate. "And don't say you aren't hungry," she added when Emily opened her mouth. She closed it before opening it again to pop a carrot into it.

"Is Aunt Hettie coming?" Eric asked.

"No. She said, and I quote, she 'has her own family to deal with.'"

Emily felt relieved. She loved her aunt, but it was enough just the three of them for tomorrow. Her father was an orphan, so he had no family besides them. She knew this was a big reason why her father had taken Lee under his wing because Lee was an orphan just like him aside from the one uncle he had. Eric helped their mother clean up after dinner while Emily wandered the house. She eventually got back to her room and decided to put on a sweater to go out. Her hand found a package underneath it, and she pulled it out. She knew right away it was from Lee. He had somehow hid it in there without her seeing him do it. She smiled at his familiar scrawl.

**To go with that dress you wore the first time I kissed you. Merry Christmas. L.**

She was impressed that he even remembered what the dress looked like let alone know how to match it, but he did. It was a necklace of blue circles with a silver outline on them. It was perfect, and she was impressed with his ability to match. She desperately wished he was there.

...

The morning went quietly. After lunch, they headed for the grave site. Eric stood with his hands in his pockets, looking down at the headstone while Rosemary and Emily stood side by side looking anywhere but at the grave.

"Another year," Eric started. "You'd be proud of us."

Rosemary said nothing. Emily wanted to say something, but the words were caught in her throat.

"Em's in New York now," Eric went on. "She's working hard. I'm doing okay too. I actually run my own business, which is crazy. Anyway, we, uh, we miss you a lot, and we hope you're okay wherever you are."

Emily started to cry at this.

"Sorry I'm late," a voice said behind them, making them all turn. Lee gave them a small wave. Emily thought her heart was gong to burst just by the mere sight of him. She wiped at her tears, but Lee saw them all the same. He wanted to hold her close, but he refrained.

"Lee?" Rosemary asked, shocked.

"Hello, Mrs. Charlton," he said.

"It's been a long time," she noted.

"Too long. I'm sorry."

"Oh, it's all right. Come here, come here," she said, pulling him into a hug. "He'd be glad you're okay." Emily wanted to throw her arms around him and never let him go, but she stayed discreet.

"Good to see you," Eric nodded at him.

"You're still in New York, right?" Rosemary asked Lee then. "I'm sure you've seen Eric around."

"Here and there," Lee nodded.

"What made you come here?" Rosemary questioned.

"Well, I came to visit my uncle, but it turns out he left for the holiday. I'm at his house, though."

Emily tucked this bit of information away. His uncle's house was just down the street from them. She remembered being envious that Eric got to hang out with Lee inside of it all the time without her.

"Oh, no. You can't be alone on Christmas. You must come over," Rosemary insisted.

"That's very kind of you," Lee said.

"Your parents are here too, aren't they?" she went on, looking around the cemetery. "I bring flowers when I can. You might want to go see them, though."

Lee made a sound in his throat, but he nodded anyway.

"I'll go with you," Emily offered. "It's been ages. We can catch up."

"Go, go," Rosemary urged. "We'll meet you back at the car." Emily did not wait for her to say anything else. She walked alongside Lee as they made their way over the knoll to the other side. They were still in sight of Eric and her mother, though, so she refrained from touching him.

"I can't believe you're here," she said once out of earshot.

"I realized I was being selfish," he said. "I mean you are here, facing pain and sadness, and I just say I won't? It's not fair."

"I understood," she assured him.

"Truthfully? I found your brownies and just really wanted to see you," he said. She smiled at him.

"How did you get here? Flights were full..."

"Barney," Lee answered. "He's off visiting someone in Rome while I'm here. You can tell Eric to relax. I've got Shadow at the house with me. He came along for the trip."

"I could tell he wanted to ask," she laughed. They stopped in front of the two headstones, and Lee stood there looking at them, unsure of what he was feeling. He had been barely six when his parents had died. He didn't have hardly any memories aside from the one he had shared with Emily before.

"I used to picture Dad under all that dirt in the box cold and alone," Emily said. "It took all I had not to dig him up with my bare hands." Lee clenched his fists in his coat pockets, knowing exactly what she meant.

"They didn't deserve to die," he said quietly. "None of them."

"How did your parents die?" Emily asked, realizing she didn't know.

"House fire," Lee answered. "I was out in my tree house in the dark. I went out there sometimes when I couldn't sleep because the fresh air helped me sleep. They didn't know I was out there. They died looking for me, thinking I was still in the house."

"It's not your fault," Emily said, knowing he was thinking it. Lee knew it was, though. It was why he put his life on the line for others so many times. He was supposed to be dead. He was going to use his spared life to save others. He was expendable.

"They would have loved you," Lee said after a moment. Emily felt sad, wishing she had known his family. He turned to leave, and she lingered for a moment, looking at their names one last time. Laurie and Michael Jones. Then she hurried to catch up with him.

"Lee Jones?" she asked. He turned to look at her.

"I haven't heard that in a very long time."

"Why did you change your name to Christmas?" she asked, curious.

"Because Christmas was my favorite holiday, and I didn't want to be reminded every day of my parents. Hearing the name Jones just felt like a thousand cuts, you know? I also felt I had failed them and didn't deserve the namesake. Stupid I know."

"No, it's not."

"I might go back to it one day," Lee mused. "But not today."

Emily was quiet for the rest of their walk back to Eric and Rosemary.

"Come stay with us," Rosemary encouraged when they got back. "It pains me to think of you all alone over there."

"I'm all right. I've got some things to do while I'm here. Might have some old friends over. Might check out some favorite places after dinner," Lee said. "I will see you Christmas Day, though. Thank you again."

Emily hated that he was so close yet so far way.

"If you change your mind, you know where to find us," Rosemary said.

"Thank you," he nodded. "See you soon."

"See you," Eric waved. Emily said nothing. She longed to run after him as he walked away. His hint was clear, though, and she couldn't wait until the first chance she got to go out alone.

...

Lee stood in the alley behind the convenience store waiting because he knew that Emily was smart and would find him there. It was growing dark, and he knew they'd be finished up with dinner at home. A figure came towards him then, their hood up. He briefly braced himself, expecting an attack since it was dark and he was alone. The person lowered their hood, and he relaxed.

"You're clever," she said. He grinned as he caught her hands and pulled her towards him. Her in his arms was what he had been dying to have since she had left.

"At last," he said into her ear.

"I can totally see why Amy liked this place now," Emily said, teasing. "The rats, the garbage..."

"The privacy," Lee finished, kissing her soundly.

"Thank you for my gift," she said after. "I found it earlier."

"Not bad for a guy, huh?" he joked.

"You're not just a guy, Lee," Emily said seriously.

"I appreciate that."

"Can we go someplace warm now?" she asked.

"Sure," he nodded. "I know just the place."

...

"Where did Emily say she was going?" Rosemary asked Eric after an hour had passed.

"To see some friends I think," he answered, looking up from his book. He had a strong suspicion that he knew where she was and who she was with. Why else would Lee come all this way? He'd wondered ever since he saw Lee "examining" Emily's face that morning a while ago. He might have to have a conversation with Mr. Lee when they got back home. At least Shadow wasn't being neglected. Emily had told him Lee had brought him.

"She seems happy, right?" Rosemary cut into his thoughts.

"I think so."

"Good. I hope she finds someone," Rosemary sighed.

"Oh, I'm sure she will one day," Eric said. Like now, just down the street from here. Thankfully, his mother stopped talking about it, and they continued on with their quiet evening in.

...

Lee had put Shadow in the laundry room so as to avoid having him underfoot when they got back to the house. He hadn't been lying. His uncle really was gone for the week. Lee had called and found out. They were barely inside when Emily started peeling off his coat and him hers. Boots were awkwardly kicked off as they kissed.

"Oh, Em," Lee said when her hands slid under his shirt and over his chest. He removed it for her and picked her up, carrying her to the couch and settling her on his lap. Without saying it out loud, they both knew what was going to happen there tonight.

"You're so beautiful," he murmured, holding her tightly to him.

"At least you think so."

"I know so," he argued. "And you should know it too."

"I have a hard time believing myself," she admitted. "Or others, really." It was one of her insecurities. She also kept expecting Lee to wake up and realize that he could do a lot better than her. It was like waiting for a bomb to go off.

"Then I will show you," he told her. "Come on." He took her hand and led her to his old room. It was exactly the way he'd left it.

"Wow, Lee's bedroom," Emily said, her voice sounding nervous, which she hated. "I always wondered."

"It's the first time it will see any kind of action like this," he joked. He shut the door and pressed her against it, kissing her deeply. Emily lost herself in him. He backed them up to the bed and moved so that he was setting her down underneath him. She couldn't stop thinking about how she had made the right choice, waiting for him. She was realizing that unconsciously she had been. It was why she was unable to go through with it with James.

"Are you sure you want to do this with me?" she asked. The question was out of left field, but she had to know the answer. Lee stopped kissing her neck to look at her.

"What?"

"It's just...there's other, more experienced women out there..." she started.

"Stop," he ordered. She stopped, feeling bad for ruining it all.

"I'm sorry."

"Em, you have got to start believing that you're an amazing woman."

"But I'm not..."

"Em, you are," Lee cut her off. "And to answer your question, there is no one else I'd rather be doing this with right now than you. Okay?"

"Okay," she whispered. He looked at her seriously.

"I wish you could see what I see," he said. "And not be so hard on yourself."

"I'm trying," she said honestly. She was. He touched her face for a moment before he proceeded to kiss her again.

"You tell me if I'm hurting you or if you want to stop," he instructed in her ear after a bit, and she nodded. She did not want him to stop. When he held her after, she felt almost sad that she'd never have a first time again. She loved the feel of his skin on hers. She never wanted to leave the bed. Unfortunately, though, she had to get home before her mother went out looking for her. She turned in his arms, kissing his lips gently to wake him up.

"Hi," she whispered when he opened his eyes.

"Hey," he smiled lazily back.

"I have to go before MI6 comes looking for me on Mother's orders."

"Do you really have to?" he asked.

"Well," she said as he kissed her again. His attempt to distract her was working.

"Well what?" he asked, giving her a moment to breathe.

"I could come back," she finished. "After she thinks I'm tucked in bed for the night."

"I'll be under your window waiting," Lee promised.

"Mmmkay," she agreed, kissing him as she went to get up. Even though it wouldn't be for long, Lee didn't want her to go, but he didn't want her to get in trouble either. You were sill considered a child in a lot of ways when your parent was around. Emily hustled home after finally pulling herself away from Lee's mouth. It was almost 11 when she got home.

"You're awfully late," Rosemary noted when she came in. She was on her way to bed herself.

"I lost track of time. I'm sorry."

"Good night?"

"Very good," Emily nodded.

"Your brother is already down for the night. I'm off too. See you tomorrow, love," Rosemary said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. "Dad would be proud of you."

Emily felt bad that she just couldn't tell her mother she was seeing Lee. She didn't want her to worry, though, and she knew her mother would because her mother always worried about who Emily was dating. She'd gotten an earful after telling her about James.

She did her nighttime routine and settled into bed fully clothed. After less than half an hour, she saw Lee outside her window and went to open it. Thankfully, she was on the ground level, so she did not have far to jump. He helped her down, and they ran back to his place, holding hands and laughing into the night.

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**Thoughts? I miss hearing from you!**

**Also, don't forget to check out Strangers in the Hospital if you haven't already ;)**


	11. Chapter 11

**If I had been more on the ball, I could have posted this on Christmas. Alas, almost a month later will have to do lol.**

**Thank you, Knightstorm and WoodenOwl31 for reviewing! I know I PMed you right after, but still, thank you again! I'm so glad to hear this story is being enjoyed...it brightens my day :) I hope you'll let me know what you think of this chapter! Happy reading :)**

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Emily woke back in her room at home the next morning. She did not get any sleep with Lee at all whatsoever. They had watched a movie and talked and shared memories. And of course, they spent quite a bit of time in his bedroom again. Around four a.m., he walked her back to her window and helped her get back in. She couldn't seem to fall asleep, though, so she knew that the day was going to suck from exhaustion.

It was Christmas Eve, and there were traditions waiting to be done. When the sun got high and she couldn't get to sleep still, she decided to just get up.

"How was your friend?" Eric asked when she came into the kitchen for coffee. He was sitting at the island reading the paper.

"Very good," she answered.

"Would that friend happen to be Lee?"

"No," she answered quickly. He raised a brow at her.

"Really."

"Yes, really. Don't look at me like that," she ordered. She was going to need a lot of coffee today just to survive.

"Oh, good, dear. You're up," Rosemary said, joining them. "Can you help me with last minute stuff? I also want to do some baking."

"Okay," Emily nodded. Eric was still looking at her, but she ignored him.

"It's going to be a fun day," Rosemary beamed at them both. Emily smiled back. She took in her mother's features, the lines beside her eyes, her greying dark hair, her average sized frame, and her shoulders more slumped than usual. Rosemary wasn't a tall woman to begin with, just over five feet, but seeing her look fragile was hard. What unnerved Emily sometimes was how much she looked like her mother. Seeing her now was like seeing herself 20 plus years in the future. Eric took after their father with the brown hair, being tall and lanky, and having green/grey eyes.

"Everything all right, dear?" Rosemary asked, breaking into Emily's thoughts.

"Just thinking," she answered. Rosemary smiled again and went off to do her thing. It was good to see her mother look so happy because Emily knew how hard this time of year was for her. Hell, it was hard for all of them. She'd take all the joy she could get.

...

Later, Emily was up to her elbows in a flour mixture when Lee walked into the kitchen.

"Look who's here!" Rosemary exclaimed, drifting in behind him. Lee grinned at her. She blushed and bowed her head. What was he doing? Was he trying to get them caught?

"I told him he could stay the night too. He'll be in the guest room next to you, if that's okay," Rosemary went on.

"It's fine, Mum," Emily smiled weakly. The way Lee was looking at her proved that he probably wasn't going to stay in that room all night, though, which made her squirm just thinking about it.

"I have to just nip out for some bread," her mother said, oblivious to the two of them. "I hope the store hasn't closed yet. Silly me. You need bread for stuffing!"

"Okay, Mum," Emily said as her mother hurried off. Lee wasted no time at all going up behind Emily and kissing her neck while putting his arms around her.

"Looks like you're kind of trapped," he noted, gesturing to her hands in the bowl.

"Eric is still in the house," she hissed. "Watch what you're doing."

"I'm just having some fun," he said. He noticed a chocolate mix set to the side and dipped his finger into it.

"What are you doing?" she asked, watching him. He dabbed it on the end of her nose, dodging her as she tried to body check him with her hip. "Lee!" she cried, annoyed. He laughed. "Get it off."

"It's cute," he said, not getting it off.

"Okay," she said, narrowing her eyes. "You think this is cute? Here." She chucked the flour mixture at him, coating his shirt.

"Oho," he laughed. "All right." He moved for the other mixture, but she pushed him back, leaving hand prints on his shirt now too. He wrestled her around until her back was to him and he had his arm tight across hers, preventing her from getting anymore on him. He reached with his free hand for the chocolate again.

"No!" she yelped. "Come on!"

Laughing, he held her down on the counter to finish the job. She wriggled out of his hold, but he still managed to get her on the floor. She was laughing and shrieking as he covered her cheeks in chocolate. She smacked the back of his pants, trying to get free. In the end, they wound up kissing.

"What the hell?" Eric's voice asked, making them both stop. He was standing there looking at them on the floor. Lee helped Emily up, and they both looked at him.

"Hey," Lee said casually.

"All right," Eric said. "Out with it."

"What are you talking about?" Lee asked innocently. Emily dared not to look at him for fear of bursting into laughter.

"You two," Eric pointed. "Something is up with you two. I'm not stupid."

"There's nothing up," Emily told him.

"Really. So you grabbing Lee's ass is nothing?" Eric challenged. Emily went bright pink in her cheeks.

"When did she do that?" Lee asked, faking outrage. The evidence was there, though. Her floury hand prints were on his butt. Emily couldn't help it. She laughed. Then she clapped her hands over her mouth, adding flour to the chocolate that was already there.

"And you," Eric said to Lee, shaking his finger at him. "I saw you kiss her just now. You guys think you're so clever and sly, but you're not."

"She needed resuscitation," Lee insisted. "That's why I did mouth to mouth on her."

Emily laughed even harder until Eric glared at her.

"It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt," he said. Lee sobered up then.

"No one is getting hurt," he promised. "We're both adults. We know what we're getting into."

"Do you? Do you really?" Eric asked, giving Lee a pointed look. Well, Emily still didn't know what his real job was, which is what Eric was trying to get at.

"Yes, Eric," Emily said, exasperated. "We do."

Eric gave her a level stare, knowing she did not know, but it wasn't his place to tell her. He gave Lee another look, getting a bow of the head in return.

"Fine, but don't come crying to me when it falls apart," Eric said, getting up to leave.

"Who said anything about it falling apart?" Emily demanded. Eric didn't answer her as he walked out the back door.

"He'll be fine," Lee assured her.

"I think I need some resuscitation to get through this," Emily teased. Lee gave a laugh before obliging and kissing her. Their relationship was now out in the open. Emily just wondered how to tell her mother.

"Here, let me," he said, grabbing the cloth and wiping her face off. Even that felt good to her.

"Thank you," she said. "Even though you put it there to begin with."

"What are you making anyway?" he asked.

"You'll find out when it's done," she answered. "You better go talk to my brother and calm him down, though."

"All right," Lee agreed, reluctantly leaving her. He found Eric in the backyard sitting on the swing. "Hey."

"What are you doing?" Eric asked, his tone agitated.

"It just happened, Eric," Lee answered. "I didn't plan for it. It just...happened."

"And what happens when she finds out your real job, huh? What happens then?"

"I don't know. I hope she'd accept it."

"And if she doesn't?"

"We will cross that bridge when we get there."

"Lee, I'm being serious here. You could really hurt her. What if you die on your next trip? What do I tell her?"

"This is all new to me, Eric. I don't really know what I'm doing," Lee admitted. He sat down beside his friend and sighed hard. "I've never felt this way for someone before. Never. This is different."

"I know this is just as new to her as it is to you, but she's fragile," Eric said. "She has more to lose than you do. You're putting your life at risk all the time."

"I took some time off."

"Oh, that's great. You prolonged your imminent death by a few weeks. That's awesome."  
"Eric, come on," Lee said. "I really care about your sister."

"And I do too. Lee, promise me that you won't hurt her. If you hurt her, I hurt you," Eric said. Lee had heard that from him before, and he knew it was true.

"All right," Lee agreed. "But I'm not planning on hurting her."

"You better tell her the truth and soon," Eric warned. "She deserves to know what she's getting into."

"Okay. I'll find a good time to tell her."

Eric was satisfied with Lee's answer, but he was still feeling worried. He kept his feelings to himself, though. The fact that Emily was happy made him happy, and that was just as important.

...

That night, Emily waited. After the clock down the hall struck midnight, she heard movement in the room beside her. Her mother had gone to bed hours ago. Eric had given them a meaningful look before turning in around ten thirty. They still hadn't told her mother about their relationship. Emily worried what Rosemary would think of it.

She welcomed Lee into her bed with open arms when he crept in.

"It's so empty without you," he commented, getting comfortable behind her. He wasn't about to do anything more than that with two other people in the house.

"You just like the warmth," she replied. "I'm on to you."

"You got me," he agreed. He pressed his face into her shoulder.

"I'm glad you came," Emily said after a while. "To England."

"Me too."

"Is Barney picking you up?"

"Yea. Day after tomorrow."

"Can I meet him?"

"Maybe next time."

Emily shifted to face him.

"Do you not want me to meet him?" she asked.

"I'm sparing you his outlook on life and relationships," Lee answered. "He is a very annoying person, like a dog on a bone when he goes at something."

"Oh. I thought maybe it was because you were embarrassed of me or something."

"Geez, Em, no," Lee said, holding her face then. "No, no. It's not that at all. You don't embarrass me."

"Good to know."

"Barney is a bit much sometimes. I just want things to be different when you first meet him."

"Okay."

Lee knew this wasn't the entire truth. The truth was he feared Barney would let slip about Lee's working with him, and he didn't want that yet. Emily seemed to be okay with his explanation, though. She fell asleep soon after, but Lee, however, remained awake for hours feeling guilty and trying to figure out how to reveal this truth of what he really did without causing her to leave him.

...

Emily woke up to find her mother's cat sitting on her head. She shrieked. Lee bolted upright half asleep but ready for war. It took him about five seconds to realize where he was and what was happening. Thankfully, Emily did not see his fists ready for action. He unclenched them and looked at her.

"Get it off," Emily whimpered. The cat twitched it's tail lazily. Lee couldn't help it. He started to laugh. Emily shot him a look.

"I'm sorry," Lee said, still laughing. He reached to pick the cat up, who meowed in protest and promptly sank it's claws into Lee's arm.

"Argh!" He released the cat immediately, and it bolted from the room as though someone had lit it on fire. Emily sat up and swiped at her hair furiously.

"I hate that cat," she said. "And he knows it too."

"He's not the friendliest," Lee agreed, examining his arm. Only a little bit of blood had been drawn by the claws thankfully.

"We're late," Emily said, seeing the alarm clock on the nightstand beside her. It was almost nine.

"Late for what?"

"Breakfast," Emily answered, leaping out of bed and throwing clothes on. She observed Lee sitting in bed and watching her.

"My clothes are next door," he said, knowing what she was thinking.

"Okay, well...we have to be careful that Mum doesn't see you like that coming out of my room," Emily ordered. Pajamas were a dead give away that he'd spent the night with her.

"Stealth is my middle name," Lee promised. Then he swallowed. The guilt from the night before was still sitting on his chest. Emily went to the door and peered out into the hallway. He went up behind her and hugged her from behind.

"Lee," she hissed. "Stop. You're going to get us caught."

"And?" he asked.

"Just go," she commanded. "The coast is clear."

Lee turned her around in his arms and kissed her long and slow. As much as Emily wanted to continue it, she knew it was essential that her mother not find Lee standing in his pajamas and shirtless in her bedroom. She pulled back reluctantly.

"That has to get me through the day," he pointed out. "It was worth the risk."

Emily touched her face absently as he went out and down to his room, closing the door behind him softly. She readjusted herself and checked her hair again before exiting her room and heading towards the dining room. Eric and Rosemary stopped talking upon seeing her.

"Good morning. Merry Christmas," her mother said. "Glad you could join us."

"Merry Christmas, Mum," Emily said, ignoring the comment. "Eric."

"You too, Em," Eric nodded. His eyes flicked around, looking for Lee.

"Did you sleep well?" Rosemary asked as Emily sat down.

"I did."

"Mmm, that's good."

Emily sensed there was something amiss. She looked at Eric, but he wasn't giving her any hints. Lee entered in that moment, and he greeted them all heartily. Emily caught her mother giving him a look, and she just knew. She knew her mother had figured it out.

"That bed wasn't too uncomfortable was it?" Rosemary asked Lee after he had gotten settled and started loading his plate.

"No. It was perfect," he smiled at her. "Very comfy. Thank you again."

Emily was trying to get Lee's attention to warn him it was a trap, but he wasn't looking at her.

"The foam was all right?" Rosemary went on. Emily tried to kick Lee under the table, but she hit Eric instead, who yelped. Lee gave him a quizzical look. Emily started to cough then, knowing it was too late. Lee had walked right into her mother's trap and was about to get slaughtered.

"It was just fine," Lee nodded, starting to eat. Emily closed her eyes in horror, bracing herself. She dared to peek after a moment's silence to see her mother looking at Lee intently. Lee seemed to notice the silence as well because he stopped chewing and turned to see Rosemary watching him. Eric's fork was in mid-air as he held his breath.

"That's interesting," Rosemary said without blinking. Lee swallowed. He looked at Emily, who gave a small shake of her head in return, warning him not to engage.

"What is?" he asked. Emily dropped her head into her hand, giving up.

"There is no foam on that bed," Rosemary said casually, sipping her coffee now. "So, I guess the question, Lee, is where did you sleep last night?"

"Um," Lee started, realizing too late what had just happened.

"Oh, stop it, Mum," Emily said a little harshly. "Stop torturing him. You know full well where he was last night."

"And where was that?" Rosemary asked, turning her gaze towards Emily.

"With me. He was with me. Are you happy now?" Emily asked, glaring at her.

"I just don't understand why you felt you couldn't tell me," Rosemary said, holding up her hands.

"Because. Eric didn't even know until yesterday," Emily said. "I didn't want to tell anyone yet. It's my business."

"I see."

Lee felt unsure of what to do now. Rosemary wasn't looking at him anymore, and Emily seemed about ready to blow up. Eric continued eating normally as though nothing had happened.

"I'm sorry," Lee eventually said. "I crossed a line."

"Do you think?" Rosemary asked, finally looking at him again. "I don't like being lied to. I don't like being played. Edward would be very disappointed in how you went about this." She stood then, dropping her napkin onto the plate and stalked off. Lee felt even more guilty thinking about Edward because Rosemary was right. Edward would have been upset with how Lee handled all of this.

"Don't be guilted by that," Emily said to him. "Don't. She's just mad that I didn't tell her because she thinks my life is an open book for her to read."

"But I do," Lee commented. "Feel guilty, I mean."

"She'll be fine," Eric chimed in, still chewing. "She just hates not being the first to know gossip."

"Should I go?" Lee asked. Emily did not want him to leave. She stood.

"No," she answered. "I will talk to her right now." She went and found her mother standing in Edward's study. Nothing had been changed in that room since he died. Not a single thing. Emily felt as though she was stepping back in time when she entered it. She almost half expected her father to look up from his desk and ask her what was cooking. She almost gasped from the sudden pain in her heart that image caused.

"Mum," she said. Rosemary was staring out the window down onto the back lawn.

"You all used to play for hours out there," she said. "Endless hours."

"Mum," Emily said again impatiently.

"I always knew you liked Lee," Rosemary went on. "It really wasn't a secret. I should have known it was coming."

"It just happened, Mum. I didn't plan for it."

"When he showed up here, I was suspicious," her mother kept talking, ignoring Emily. "He hadn't come here in ages, and suddenly he's here? No, it wasn't a coincidence. I knew if I invited him to stay here, my suspicions would be confirmed, and they were when I saw him creep into your room last night."

"This is not bloody CSI," Emily said, annoyed. "You did not have to make it a case. You could have just asked me."

"And would you have been honest with me?" Rosemary asked, finally turning to face Emily.

"I..." Emily trailed off. Would she have?

"I didn't think so," Rosemary concluded. "I don't understand why you don't tell me things."

"Because you analyze and give opinions that sometimes I don't want to hear," Emily replied. "I don't know how you feel about Lee, and I didn't want you crapping all over it when it was still new and something I'm still trying to figure out."

"I didn't realize I crapped on you, dear," Rosemary commented.

"Look, I'm sorry," Emily said firmly. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but I didn't even tell Eric, okay? It wasn't just you."

"Is that why you went over there to New York? To find Lee?"

"No! Mum, I went over there for work, and I got a job, one that I love I might add, and Lee just...happened."

"Where did you see him?"

Oh God. Emily didn't know how to answer this question. She thought quickly.

"I bumped into him on the street. He was working on a job," she answered. It wasn't a total lie. She had done that once.

"You just lied," Rosemary pointed out.

"What?"

"You see, I did some, erm...what did you call it? Oh, right, CSI. I did some CSI-ing and found out that his address is the same as your brother's. I looked at his driver's license. Seems he didn't take his wallet with him when he shacked up with you last night."

"Mum!"

"He lives with you!" Rosemary cried over top of Emily. "He lives with you, and neither of you felt I deserved to know that!"

"Because you would have been upset!"

"I am upset! It is not right, a young, single woman living with a single man!"

"Well, I'm not single now anymore am I?" Emily threw at her.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Eric shouted, coming in then. He went to stand between both of them. "You guys need to calm down. So Emily is dating Lee. Big deal."

"He lives with you," Rosemary spluttered.

"Yes, he does. I didn't tell you because I knew you'd fuss."

"Oh, honestly..."

"Mum, stop," Eric said firmly. "It is Christmas Day. Set it aside for now, and if you feel inclined to do so, pick it back up tomorrow, but I'm not going to stand here and watch you two fight like dogs over something so stupid on Christmas. Dad wouldn't want you to either."

"Oh, throw him into this why don't you," Rosemary said angrily.

"Like you did five minutes ago to Lee? Yea, I noticed. You crushed him, Mum. It was very uncalled for."

"You're all ganging up on me..." Rosemary started. Eric cut her off by pulling her into a tight hug.

"Nobody is ganging up on you, Mum. It's your choice whether or not this is gonna be a good day or a bad day. Think about it," Eric said. Rosemary started to cry at this point. Emily didn't know what to think. She had never seen Eric take charge on their mother like this before. What was astonishing was it seemed to be working slowly.

"I just feel so left out," Rosemary managed to say after a bit. "You all left, and I'm alone here. Your father was better at keeping up with your lives, and without him...I'm just no good at it. I miss him. Oh, God, I miss him so much." She started to sob then.

Emily couldn't take it anymore. She left the room and went to the bathroom. She hadn't even eaten yet, but the urge to just let it all out was so strong. Being in her father's study had triggered her badly. Her mother's statement triggered her. Everything was triggering her. Emily was crying and about to make herself throw up when arms grabbed her from behind and lifted her back.

"Don't," Lee said, holding her tightly. "Don't do it, Em, it's not worth it."

"Let me go," Emily cried, trying to pull his grip off of her.

"No," he shook his head. She tried her hardest to get free of him, but he was very strong. Eventually, she gave up, but she was still crying. She turned and buried her face into Lee's chest, trying to drown it all out.

"It's all right," he kept saying.

"What happened?" Eric asked from the doorway. Rosemary was in her room putting herself back together before resuming the day.

"Just a little break down," Lee answered. Emily was grateful he left out what she had been trying to do.

"Mum's fine now," Eric told her. "She's just really missing Dad today, as you heard."

"So am I," Emily managed to say.

"I know. Me too," Eric nodded. "But it'll be all right. Come on."

"She's not gonna kick me out?" Lee asked.

"No. She just feels bad that Dad can't see it, you two being together. She said he'd be happy about it. She has a weird way of showing it, I know," Eric said before Emily could open her mouth to argue. "Let's just continue on with this day, shall we?" He left then, leaving Lee and Emily alone.

"Better?" Lee asked her as she wiped her eyes.

"For now."

"If I could do it all differently, I would," Lee said.

"The response would have been the same regardless," Emily sniffed.

"Well, I'm right here, okay?"

"Okay."

He took her hand in his, and they went out to face the day together.

...

Lee was getting ready to go back to his uncle's house at the end of the day and was getting his boots on by the door when Rosemary approached him. She looked a bit sheepish.

"I really am sorry," Lee started.

"It's okay," she cut him off, holding up her hand.

Lee waited, knowing she was not finished.

"Edward would have been thrilled," Rosemary started. "You both were so special to him, and I only wish he was here to see it. Just promise me you won't hurt her."

"I won't." He cringed inside knowing that it was a possibility if Emily found him out before he could tell her about his job.

"She looks better," Rosemary went on. "I think her living with you and Eric was a good decision."

"I've looked out for her since day one," Lee said.

"Good. She's been vulnerable since Edward died. She needs someone to remind her that everything will be okay."

They stood there quiet for a moment until Emily appeared.

"What?" she asked, seeing them both look at her.

"Good night, Lee," Rosemary said, giving him a hug. "Don't be a stranger."

"I won't."

Rosemary gave his arm one last squeeze before leaving them alone. Emily moved in to hug him.

"Are you sure you can't stay?"

"No. I'll be leaving crazy early. I don't want to disturb your sleep."

"It wouldn't bother me," she told him, making him chuckle. He kissed her instead of replying. Then they stood there, foreheads resting against each other's, his fingers on her cheek.

"I'll see you at home," he said reluctantly. Emily nodded. He kissed her forehead gently and grabbed his bag and went out the door. Emily stood there staring at it for a long time after, wishing she had gone with him.

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**Miranda is back in the next chapter. We are rapidly approaching the events of the film too, so don't worry! Also, you are going to find out in chapter 13 what happens when Emily finds out what Lee does for a living. I know I've been dragging that out for a while lol. It'll be over soon.**

**I LOVE to hear what you guys think! :D**


	12. Chapter 12

**I hope this story is still being enjoyed!**

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Emily spent every free moment she had with Lee when she returned home from England two days after Christmas. They spent every night together either in her room or his. Eric didn't talk about it with them, but Lee could tell Eric wanted him to be honest with Emily. Lee knew he had to be. He just didn't know when or how to do it.

"I have to work late," Emily said over the phone one night. Lee had waited for her to come home, but she hadn't arrived, so he called her.

"Again? Isn't it still technically the holidays?"

"Yes, and no, not here. I do get New Year's Day off, but that's it."

"What do you do that requires you to work so late all the time?" he asked.

"I'm waiting for The Book."

"At this hour?" Lee asked, looking at his watch. It was eight p.m.

"Don't be silly. It's not finished until 10 or 10:30."

"And you have to sit there the whole time?!"

"Yes," Emily said defensively.

Lee did not understand her job. He was trying to and trying to be supportive, but sometimes he got frustrated.

"All right," he sighed.

"Don't be mad," she said. He could sense the worry in her voice.

"I'm not mad."

"You sound mad."

"I'm annoyed."

"That's a version of mad."

"I will see you when you get home," Lee said, changing the subject.

"Okay."

They hung up, and then Lee got an idea.

...

Emily was jiggling her leg while sitting at her desk, waiting for the damn Book to be ready. She wanted to go home. She wanted to be with Lee. She knew he was frustrated with her late hours and on call work on the weekends. A part of her was frustrated as well, which surprised her. She loved her job usually.

"Hey, you," his voice said. She turned to look at him, trying to figure out if he was a figment of her imagination. It wouldn't be the first time. She remembered seeing and hearing him at the bar on her first date with James, and he wasn't actually there.

"Lee?"

"I think so," he answered, teasing. "Unless I've got a twin." He set down the bag in front of her.

"What are you doing here?"

"Bringing you dinner," he answered. She peered into the bag. Chinese food.

"I'm not..."

"Yes, you are," he cut her off. Emily hated to admit that he was right. She was starving. Normally she didn't feel hunger, but since she had been dating Lee, she found herself becoming more lenient about food.

"You didn't have to," she said, picking up a container and starting to eat. Lee joined her.

"I wanted to."

They ate for a bit before finishing up. Emily leaned back in her chair, smiling at Lee.

"What?" he asked, noticing.

"I don't know," she answered. "I'm just looking at you."

"I see."

Emily sometimes couldn't believe her luck that she was with Lee, but a small part of her kept telling her she wasn't good enough for him, that she didn't deserve him. That part of her told her she should break it off and protect herself before she got hurt.

Lee went over closer to her and bent to kiss her.

"Not here," Emily said, pulling away.

"There's nobody here," he pointed out. She looked around. He did have a point. She also had an hour left to kill. She looked at him intently, and he looked right back at her.

"Come with me," she said, standing up and taking his hand in hers. She walked them right into Miranda's office. It was a bold move on her part and completely out of her character, but a piece of her wanted to do it as a sort of a "screw you" to Miranda for ever calling Lee a distraction, which ironically, he was right now.

"Devil Woman's office?" Lee asked, surprised. "I didn't know you had it in you."

Emily responded by simply kissing him. He held her close before picking her up and placing her on the desk. Emily almost laughed because Miranda would have no idea. Lee pressed her down against it, and she responded to his touch. It started on the desk but ended on the floor since too many of Miranda's things jabbed into Emily's back.

"I can't believe we just did that," Emily said after. Lee was laughing at this point, which made her join in.

"I bet this is the best late shift you've ever worked," he teased. She playfully swatted him. He helped her to her feet, both of them putting themselves back together. She did her best to put Miranda's desk back in order.

"No, that went there," Lee said, gesturing.

"What did?"

"The pen."

"Are you sure?"

"Definitely."

She trusted him. After fixing up Miranda's desk, Emily checked first before exiting the office with Lee and going back to her desk. It was almost ten now.

"I'll see you back at home," Lee said.

"Can't wait," she answered, winking at him. He grinned. When he was gone, Emily started thinking about him and their relationship and what it would look like moving forward. She knew it was too soon to think of marriage, but her mind couldn't help but go there. Then, those darker thoughts came rushing back. Would he find someone else? Was this just a phase? Was he just using her until someone better came along? Why couldn't she trust that he wanted her? She felt angry at herself for a moment.

"Emily?"

She turned to see the person standing there with the Book in their hands.

"About time," Emily huffed, getting to her feet. She blushed, though, thinking about how she had spent the time waiting for it. It wasn't so bad of a wait after all.

...

When Miranda beckoned Emily to her office near the end of the day a day before New Year's Eve, Emily felt a bit anxious. Did she somehow know that Emily and Lee had done it on her desk/the floor of her office? Was she going to get fired? Miranda was sitting at her desk and looked up when Emily came in.

"You called?" Emily said. She braced herself. She couldn't even look at the damn desk without blushing.

"There is a party tomorrow night," Miranda said. "I need you to be present."

"O-Oh, okay," Emily bobbed her head in agreement. She cringed inside. She had plans to stay up watching films with Lee until after midnight. He was going to be disappointed.

"It's very important that you be there," Miranda went on. "We need to represent _Runway_, and I need both you and Serena looking your best."

"I will. We will," Emily promised.

"It's supposed to be a..._family_ type thing," Miranda added with a touch of disdain. "So if you have family, you may bring them."

"I...I will ask them," Emily said. She doubted Eric could come. As a bar owner, New Year's would be busy for him. She didn't think Lee would be interested in coming, but she'd ask.

"That's all."

Emily walked back to her desk. Serena sighed from hers.

"If I don't get that promotion, I might die," she said to Emily.

"You'll get it," Emily said encouragingly. If Serena got promoted, then Emily would be promoted to the First Assistant. She was excited.

"Let's hope so. I'd hate for you to clean up my mess when I off myself," Serena said with a small laugh. Emily didn't respond to that. Instead, she got up to get a coffee. When she saw James in the kitchen, she cringed. She had done her best to not run into him so much after their breakup, but she still bumped into him the odd time.

"Hey, Emily," James smiled at her.

"Hi."

"How are you? Things are good?"

"Mmhmm. Things are good."

"Rumor has it you're dating your roommate," James went on. Damn that Serena. Emily growled on the inside.

"Is that a problem?" she asked.

"No, no. I'm glad you're happy."

"Thank you."

"Just...be careful," James warned.

"Why?"

"I don't know. Something just felt off with him when I met him that time."

"Thank you for your concern, but we're just fine," Emily said, finishing her coffee and leaving. She didn't want James to think about her and Lee. It felt weird. She sat back at her desk and longed for the day to end.

...

Lee barely got his key in the door when he felt her arms slide around him from behind. He smiled.

"Hello, you," he said.

"It's been ages," she said, muffled by his back.

"It's been less than 12 hours," he laughed.

"That's still ages to me," she commented. He finally turned and hugged her properly.

"Long day?" he asked.

"A little."

"Me too."

They went inside, and Shadow hurried over to greet them. Emily refrained from touching the dog while Lee bent to give him his daily pats and loving.

"You know, dog love makes everything feel better," Lee told her.

"Right," Emily said sarcastically. "No thanks."

"One day," Lee said, standing up again and pointing at her jokingly. "One day you'll love him as much as I do."

"I somehow doubt that," Emily smirked. Lee tucked her hair behind her ear and gave her a kiss before heading off to change. Emily padded after him. This was her favorite part of the day. Lee found it amusing that she liked to watch, but he didn't mind it too much because most of the time it led to something more, which was what happened today. Emily held onto him tightly afterwards as it grew dark outside.

"What do you think about New Year's Eve parties?" she asked suddenly.

"I have a feeling you're about to invite me to one," he answered, teasing.

"It's for work."

"Your work?" he asked, clarifying. He was a little surprised.

"Yes. Miranda said I have to be there, but she said I could bring family."

"I'm family, huh?" Lee asked, smirking. Emily blushed a little.

"Well...yes," she nodded. "In a way."

"Do you want me there?" he questioned. "I know it's fancy."

"I'd like you to be there," she said a little timidly. "I mean, I know you might hate it..."

"I won't hate it because you'll be there," Lee told her. "That's good enough for me."

"Okay," Emily smiled.

"And don't worry," Lee said. "I clean up well."

...

Emily almost did a double take when she saw Lee the next evening emerge from his room dressed to the nines in a very nice suit and tie. Eric even stopped chewing to stare.

"Dude," he said. "I don't even recognize you."

"I told you," Lee winked at Emily, who flushed. She wanted to bail on the party and take him right back into his bedroom and stay in there all night long.

"I'm impressed," she admitted. She was also afraid of what would happen when other women saw him like that. She patted at her dress absently.

"You're not so bad yourself," he said, gesturing. Emily was wearing the light blue strapless dress Miranda had instructed her to wear earlier.

"I'm good too, thanks," Eric commented sarcastically.

"Don't you have a bar to run?" Lee asked.

"Yup. I'm just cramming some food into me first. I expect it's going to be nuts down there," Eric nodded.

"I don't know when we'll be back," Emily started.

"It's fine," Eric dismissed. "Have fun. I'll see you later." He went to give her a peck on the cheek and gave Lee a punch on the shoulder.

"Don't work too hard," Lee said as they went out the door.

"No promises," Eric laughed.

Emily felt nervous as they went down to where the driver was waiting for them. Miranda wasn't about to have her assistants show up in a cab. Lee took her hand in his, hoping to transfer some of his calmness to her.

"Are you sure you'll be all right?" she asked. She was still stressing about how many women were going to fawn over him. Would he find one of them more attractive than her? She dug her nails into her hands to stop the thoughts.

"Will you?" he countered, laughing. He noticed her looking a little anxious. "Em, I know how to mingle with people. I'll be fine."

"Okay."

Emily was also worried that Miranda was going to sink her claws into Lee or say something about him distracting Emily. She hoped not. When they arrived, Emily felt a lot of eyes turn her way. She wished she could disappear. Lee put his arm around her and walked her to the entrance confidently.

"Emily!" Serena called, waving. She was alone.

"I didn't think it would be so crowded," Emily said once they were closer.

"I know! Miranda needs us to flank her for a bit. Hello, Lee," Serena said, her eyes twinkling a little.

"Hello," he said back.

"You'll be okay if I steal her away for a little while?"

"I'll be just fine," Lee nodded. In all honesty, he felt way out of his element, but he was there to support Emily. He'd do anything for her.

"I'll be back," Emily said, kissing his cheek.

"Knock 'em dead," he grinned.

"Oh my God, he's stupendous," Serena said once they were out of his earshot.

"Yes, he is," Emily agreed. She looked back to see him talking to Nigel. She hoped he would be all right without her for a while.

...

James saw Lee and felt a bit of anger inside. This was the man who had stolen Emily from him. This guy. James scoffed. What did he have that James didn't have? After downing another shot, he gathered up the courage to confront him.

"Remember me?" James said when he approached Lee.

"James," Lee nodded.

"So you got the girl, huh? Good for you."

"I think you need to consider where you are right now," Lee interrupted. "You are going to embarrass yourself."

"No. No, I'm only going to embarrass you," James argued, slurring a little. He'd started drinking before the party to get the strength to even attend. "That fine woman over there deserves a hell of a lot better than you."

"James, enough," Lee said firmly.

"I do not see what she sees in you," James went on. "Quite frankly, I think you're hiding something. Yea, I can see it in your eyes. You have a secret, Lee, and I'm gonna find out what it is."

"I think you've had a bit too much to drink, James," Lee said. "Why don't you go get some air?"

"Why don't you just fu-" James started, but Lee cut him off by grabbing him by the elbow and making him shriek in a high pitched voice. Lee then escorted James to the front door and out onto the steps.

"Have some water. Sober up," Lee instructed. "And don't embarrass yourself any further."

James rubbed his elbow as Lee went back inside. James just knew there was something about that guy, and he was going to find out what.

...

"I don't think you take your career seriously," Miranda said to Emily as they saw Lee standing on the edge of the crowd watching everyone. Emily burned a little inside.

"I do," she argued.

"Oh, you do? Well then, take my advice and find better company to keep," Miranda said before leaving and joining her husband at the other end of the hall. Emily stood there feeling angry and confused. Why was Miranda so hell bent on Emily not dating Lee? Miranda didn't even know Lee. She didn't get it. She went over to him, admiring how handsome he looked. She didn't care what Miranda thought. Miranda could not tell her who she was supposed to date. She noticed a bunch of women make disappointed faces when Lee put his arm around her and give her a kiss.

"Are you bored?" she asked. "Be honest."

"It's always interesting to watch people," Lee answered. He had dodged a lot of women and their pinching fingers, which was why he had his back to the wall now. He was amazed at the gall of some of these women. He had a feeling something had been said to Emily by the way her face was darkened a little.

It was close to midnight now, and Emily wanted to get out of there. She did not care if Miranda wanted her to stay longer. She was done.

"Let's go," she said.

"You sure?"

"Yes."

"Where do you want to go?"

"Somewhere I haven't been," she answered. He smiled.

"I know just the place."

...

"Where are we?" Emily asked. Lee had his hands over her eyes as he guided her off the last step. She had been amused when he told her she wasn't allowed to see where they were going.

"Just hang on," he instructed. "Keep them closed."

He went over to plug in the cord while she stood there laughing with her eyes shut.

"If you're going to murder me, Lee, I swear I'll kill you," she promised.

"Now why would you ever think I'd do something like that?" he asked, back beside her. He felt guilty again, though, because she had no idea he was capable of killing people.

"I don't know. It happens in the movies."

"All right, you nut case, you can open your eyes now," Lee joked. Emily did so and was stunned at what she saw. They were standing on the roof of their building, and Lee had set up white Christmas lights with a small table holding two glasses and a bottle of wine. She looked at him.

"You did this for me?" she asked.

"Of course," he answered. "And we're right on time too."

"For what?"

"The New Year," he replied, giving her a smirk.

"Right," she said, giving him a look but also smiling. He handed her a glass of wine, and she stood watching the city below them getting ready for 2006. Lee stood beside her. He was a little surprised that it wasn't as cold as he thought it would be, but it was chilly enough.

"I didn't take you to be a romantic," Emily said after a while.

"I'm a lot of things," he said honestly. He contemplated on telling her who he really was, but something held him back.

"Well, you've certainly made me feel special," she told him. It sounded foreign out loud, something that wasn't a negative.

"You are special. Don't forget that," Lee replied. She had a hard time believing she was special a lot of the time. She didn't do well with compliments. She viewed herself as someone who was lucky to have someone like Lee look her way, and she didn't know how to change that outlook. Not knowing how to respond, Emily set down her glass and pulled him into a kiss that grew deeper the longer it went on. They barely registered the fireworks let alone the fact it was now midnight. Lee had never felt this way with anyone before, never had been able to get so lost in someone else. Emily meant everything to him, and he didn't want to lose her.

"You're cold," he said after they finally stopped for some air. He noticed her teeth chattering.

"A little," she agreed.

"Come on," he said, taking her hand. "Let's go get you warmed up."

Emily happily followed. She could feel herself falling for this man more each day, and although it scared her a little, it also was a little thrilling.

**2006**

Life continued on after New Year's. Eric worked long hours again, as did Emily. Lee went on a mission at the end of February for eight days, and Eric felt very unsettled about it. He hated that Emily had no idea, and he hated the idea of him having to explain it all if Lee did not come home one day. When Lee returned, Eric made a point of talking to him about it again.

"You promised me you were going to tell her soon," he said.

"I know, I know," Lee nodded. "And I will."

"Like, now?"

"I just...I don't know how, Eric."

"Well, figure it out," Eric said.

"I'm trying," Lee replied. Eric said nothing more as he grabbed his coat before going to work. Shadow rested his head on Lee's leg when he sat on the couch. Lee rubbed the dog's ears absently, thinking. He had no idea how to tell Emily. He didn't know what her reaction was going to be, and he was terrified of losing her over it. The two of them were getting along so well. He looked up when Emily came inside the apartment.

"I'm so glad to see you," she said, tossing her bag and coat and hurrying over to him. Shadow moved away, knowing she still didn't like him. Emily sat on Lee's lap and kissed him, loving the feel of his arms around her.

"You're off early," he noted.

"I know. I managed to get away," she said. She had made sure all her tasks were finished for the day, but she couldn't bear sitting there any longer knowing that Lee was coming home. She tugged at his shirt, making it clear what she wanted to do. Lee was torn between going along with it versus telling her the truth about where he'd been. In the end, her persistence won. She pulled him to her room and shut the door behind them, kissing him and moving to the bed while removing articles of clothing. She fell down on top of him after, still kissing him. She had missed him like crazy when he was gone. Lee flipped her onto her back, making her laugh until he kissed her again soundly. She gripped his shoulders as he gripped her legs. She would never tire of this. Never.

_Doo doo doo dee doo._

"Come on," Lee groaned. Emily began reaching for the phone. "No, Em, leave it."

"I can't," she said. The phone kept ringing insistently. Emily wasn't sure what else they needed from her that day, but she knew she couldn't ignore it. Lee sighed and fell onto his back while she answered it.

"Yes. Yes, I'll be right there," she said. She hung up and looked at Lee, who was looking back at her.

"What does the Devil Woman want now?" he asked.

"I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to go," he told her as she hopped around finding her clothes.

"I do."

"No, you don't. You don't have to answer that damn thing either. You don't have to be the Devil's assistant. You can get a better job somewhere else."

"Lee, it's my job, and I love it, and I'm not leaving it."

"You are at the beck and call of this woman 24/7. What job is this again? Oh, right, personal assistant," Lee said sarcastically. "It's not like you're a surgeon saving lives. You're expendable to her, Em. The Devil's assistant is expendable. How many girls were fired before you came along?"

"Enough," Emily ordered, wriggling back into her dress. "And I'm better than them because I'm still here."

"I'm sorry. I just don't get it," Lee said, feeling frustrated. She knelt on the bed beside him then, running her fingers along his chest.

"When I get back," she said. "I'll make it up to you."

"You better," he teased.

"I'll be an hour at the most."

"I'll be here."

Emily kissed him then, not wanting to leave him at all, but the job was the job. She had to go. It was what she got for trying to skip out early to begin with.

...

More than an hour later (it was two hours later), Lee was eating dinner when Emily returned.

"I'm sorry," she said.

"What crisis did you fix now?"

"It's all done and sorted," she answered, avoiding his gaze. If he knew she had to run to do errands for Miranda's twins, he would insist she quit on the spot.

"I saved you some," Lee said, gesturing. Emily sat across from him and actually ate. She was feeling hungry, which was still a new feeling for her. Ever since she had been dating Lee (minus the time in England when she had almost purged), she hadn't felt the need to count every calorie or do excessive exercise. It was still very strange to her.

"I have good news anyway," Emily said after eating for a bit.

"What's that?"

"Serena got a promotion, so I am now the First Assistant. Miranda just told me."

"And how is that any different from what you're doing now?" Lee asked, confused.

"I don't have to do near the amount of leg work that I'm doing now," Emily answered. "The hiring process for my replacement has started."

"I see."

Emily could tell that something was bothering Lee. It was pretty obvious.

"I'm sorry I had to leave earlier," she started.

"It's fine," he cut her off. She set her fork down and gave him a look.

"Clearly it's not fine," she noted. "Something is bothering you."

"It's not that," Lee said. He felt anxious suddenly. Here was his opening, but he had no idea how to start.

"Then what is it?" she prompted.

"It's just...I..." he halted. She was looking at him almost worried now.

"Lee?"

_I kill people. I'm a mercenary._

It was right there, but he couldn't do it. The fear of losing her was too great.

"I'm just thinking about my parents," he lied.

"Oh," she said, looking a little relieved. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not really," he shook his head. She reached for his hand and squeezed it. He felt like the world's biggest coward.

"I'm here if you ever do want to talk about it," she promised.

"Thanks," he nodded. She went back to eating, and Lee felt sick. He had to tell her. He had to. He knew that. He'd try again tomorrow.

* * *

**Andy appears in the next chapter, and the truth finally comes out about Lee. Stay tuned to see how that turns out!**


	13. Chapter 13

**WoodenOwl31, you made me laugh out loud when I read your review! And Guest reviewer, Great Job, haha yes James is an ass (and Miranda), and both of you are probably gonna hate James even more after reading this chapter. There is going to be a bit of drama and a touch of angst in this story, but I hope that doesn't stop you from reading. **

* * *

Two weeks later, Emily was sitting across from what was hopefully her new assistant. The girl looked terrified, though. Serena gave her until lunchtime. Emily tried to have hope for her. She also didn't want to be the second assistant anymore. Miranda was being her usual self, though, and the girl was most definitely gone before lunch. Emily felt disheartened. She alerted HR, and they called in a few more girls for interviews. Over the next few weeks, Emily trained the second new girl, and it looked as though things were going to work out until Miranda fired her too.

"I guess you're just going to have to do all of the work alone," Miranda said one night, making Emily cringe.

"We will find someone," Emily promised.

"Hm," Miranda said. Like always, that was all. Emily got home to find Lee with his bag packed at the door. It was the final straw for her, and she burst into tears.

"What? What's wrong?" Lee asked, gathering her into his arms as she cried.

"You're leaving," she said. "Why? Why do you always leave?"

"I'm sorry. It's a promise I made to Barney, that I'd always help him."

"What do you guys do that he needs you so much for?" Emily asked.

"I...I don't have time to explain right now," Lee said. "I promise we will talk about it when I come back."

"I need you," Emily said, teary. "Please don't leave."

"I'm sorry," Lee told her, feeling bad. "I have to go."

"No, you don't. That's what you always tell me," Emily pointed out.

"But you always go, right?" Lee countered. Emily knew he had her there. She pressed her lips together and held back her rebuttal.

"How long?" she asked instead.

"A few days at least," he answered. Emily held back her fresh batch of tears. She wanted to make him stay, but she knew she couldn't. She let him go and took off her coat, trying to act okay.

"Em?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she answered. "You can go."

Lee knew she was lying, but he also had to go. The last thing he wanted was Barney busting down his door looking for him. He went over to her and made her look at him.

"I will be back soon," he promised. "Then I'm all yours."

"And you'll tell me about your trip," she added. She wanted to know. She had a feeling it was more than just helping out a friend.

"Yes," he nodded. He felt scared just thinking about it, but there was no escaping it now. The truth was going to come out. He gave her one last kiss in case he didn't make it back and in case she broke up with him after he told her what he did for a living when he got home.

"I..." Emily started, but she stopped abruptly.

"You what?" Lee asked.

"Nothing," she shook her head. "See you in a few days."

Lee picked up his bag and gave her one last look before leaving. Emily put a hand to her mouth when he was gone. She had almost told him she loved him. Where had that come from? They'd only been dating a couple of months. It surprised her. She wondered if he caught on or if he felt the same way. She had to wait until he came back to find out.

...

Lee was quiet on the plane ride to their next mission. He kept thinking about Emily and her expression on her face when she saw he was leaving. When she had stopped herself from saying what Lee was pretty sure she was about to say, he felt bad. If she loved him, she would be even more hurt to find out the truth.

"What's got your knickers in a knot?" Barney asked through his cigar. Lee looked at him.

"Nothing," he lied.

"Right. I can read you like a book, you know," Barney pointed out. "You might as well spit it out."

"Emily wants to know where I go when I'm with you," Lee said after a moment.

"You're gonna tell her?"

"I have to."

"Shoulda done it sooner," Barney said, shaking his head.

"Thank you for that," Lee snorted.

"Break it to her gently," Barney advised. Lee didn't say anything else. He had no idea how she was going to react, and that was what scared him the most.

**Days Later**

James was feeling anxious. He paced in his office, unsure of how to proceed. He didn't want her to hate him or not believe him, but she also needed to know. Then there was that part of him that wanted to see Lee suffer. He heard her shoes first before she rounded the corner.

"What is it?" she asked. She felt slightly annoyed that he had summoned her. Was he going to try to convince her that Lee was no good for her?

"You need to see these," he said, handing her an envelope. She stared at them, not moving.

"What are they?"

"Do you really know your boyfriend?" he pressed. "Do you?"

"James, enough. I'm sorry I hurt you by ending things between us, but you can't keep attacking my new boyfriend," she huffed. Ever since they had broken up, James had made little digs towards Lee here and there. They weren't noteworthy enough to bring to Lee's attention, but Emily still got annoyed by them. Unfortunately, she had no idea about James accosting Lee at the New Year's party.

"This is proof that Lee is lying to you."

"About what?" Emily asked. Before he opened his mouth she cut him off. "You know what, I don't care. I'm not taking that. You're making this up because you're mad."

"Emily, you have to look at this. This is serious," James insisted. Emily didn't know what to do, so in the end, she took the envelope, but she wouldn't look at the contents.

"Is that all?" she asked.

"Yes."

"Goodbye then," she said, stalking off. She left the envelope untouched all day, but she had to admit that she was a little curious. What would Lee be lying about? She told herself she'd wait until she got home. Then she'd look.

...

"You're gonna tell her?" Barney asked as Lee grabbed his things and got ready to disembark the plane.

"Yea."

"Good luck."

Lee knew he needed all the luck he could get. He walked over to the cab he'd called and got in. He had contemplated having Barney come with him to help explain it all, but he decided against it. He was full of excitement for seeing her again but also nervousness for knowing what he was about to do. It was time, though. It was time.

...

At the apartment after work, Emily stared at the envelope on the table in front of her for what seemed like hours. A part of her wanted to know, and a part of her didn't. Things were near perfect between her and Lee, and she didn't want to ruin it. Then again, if it was so serious, maybe she should know. She untucked the flap and dumped out the contents. They were photographs. Frowning, she picked them up and went through them. They all had Lee in them, and he was holding rifles and knives, dressed in army-like gear, but it was all black. The time stamp was from a few days ago.

"What is this?" she asked herself. "What is happening?" She didn't understand. She was still sitting there staring at them when Lee came through the door, returning from his latest trip.

"Hey," he said, happy to see her. "Sorry I'm late. Traffic was really..." He stopped talking when he saw her staring at something in her hands, her expression one of confusion and a little bit of fear.

"What's that?" he asked.

"What is this?" she asked at the same time. From the way she was looking at him, he knew that she knew. "Lee, what is going on?"

He could see now that she was holding photographs. Looking closer, he saw they were of him. He sighed and dropped his bag onto the floor. He had been so close to telling her first. He felt confused himself, though, because how did she get those pictures of him?

"Where did you get these?" he asked, taking them from her.

"That is not important," she dismissed. Lee felt angry. Whoever had taken these was obviously following him.

"Did you have someone follow me?" he demanded. Were they still following him?

"No! James gave them to me..." she stopped. "That is not what is important here, Lee. What is important is that you've been lying to me. Now, tell me the truth. What is this?!"

Of course it was James. Lee worked to keep his cool. James couldn't handle losing Emily, so he sabotaged. Lee was planning on telling her tonight about what he did, just like he'd promised her before he left. He had thought about it the whole time he was away, and he finally knew how he was going to do it.

"Lee," she said hotly.

"Em, I'm not a carpenter."

"Yes, that is clearly obvious, but why, then, have I seen you at work?" she asked. She remembered. Then again, she'd only seen him at a job site once, hadn't she?

"I do that part time. It keeps me busy until I'm needed at my real job."

"And what job is that?" she asked, but she was afraid to find out.

"I don't tell people because it scares them," Lee started.

"Just tell me," she ordered, crossing her arms tightly against her chest.

"I'm a mercenary, Em. I kill people."

There was complete silence in the room as Emily digested this information. Lee watched her face carefully, and just like he feared, she was afraid of him.

"Em," he tried, moving towards her. She got up from the chair and backed away quickly.

"You...you kill people?" she asked. Her mind was racing. "But...you're not in the SAS anymore."

"No, I'm not."

"Then...why?"

"It's something I'm good at," Lee answered.

"Okay," she said. "Okay. I...okay."

"Em?"

"I can't be near you right now," she said, moving past him. He killed people. She didn't even want to know what kind of people.

"They're all bad, in case you're wondering," Lee said on cue. "Anyone I kill is either a terrorist or someone really bad. They've done terrible things."

"Justifying it is not helping your case right now," she said.

"I'm sorry."

"I don't even know who you are!" she cried, getting angry now. "You went on to me about how you like to really know someone, and here you were lying to me the whole time."

"Not about everything, just what I do," Lee insisted. "I'm still me, Em..."

"I'm sorry, but killing people is something a woman wants to know before she...before she..." Emily couldn't finish. The rest of that sentence was "falls in love with you," but she hadn't said it out loud to him, and now she didn't think she could.

"Emily, it's no different than the SAS," Lee urged. "It's not. I have a team. I have a leader. I follow orders. We only accept work where there is significant proof that our target is either a terrorist or a trafficker or anything related to that. That work majorly comes from the CIA." He reached for her hands.

"Don't touch me," she snapped, yanking them away. "Don't look at me. Don't talk to me!" She moved to run then, desperate to get anywhere but there.

"Emily!"

She didn't look back as she slammed the door behind her.

...

Lee felt sick. He should have told her in the beginning. This whole thing was a nightmare, and now he was pretty sure he'd lost her forever. He paced the apartment for hours, waiting for her to come home. She didn't.

"What's up?" Eric asked, coming in from work and seeing Lee in a state.

"I told her what I did for a living," Lee answered.

"You did?" Eric questioned.

"Well, technically no. James gave her photographs of me," Lee said, gesturing to the table. "It seems he had me followed." Unless James had followed him on his own. Lee wasn't sure. He felt rage towards that twerp. He wasn't just going to let that go.

"I'm assuming she took it badly?"

"Oh yea."

"I'll call her," Eric said, pulling out his phone and dialing. It went to voicemail. "Damn it."

"I messed it up," Lee moaned. "I've messed it up. I should have come clean in the beginning."

"Just chill," Eric ordered. "Em needs time to think on stuff. She might come around yet."

"Oh God I hope so. Eric, I love your sister. I can't lose her."

"You love her?" Eric asked, surprised.

"Yea, I do. I really do."

"Well, shit. Does she know that?"

"I haven't exactly said it yet. I was planning to soon."

"Let me talk to her," Eric suggested.

"She might be even more pissed that you knew and didn't tell her either," Lee pointed out.

"You're right. I guess I have to fake that I didn't know."

Lee said nothing else as he continued pacing. He needed to talk to her. He needed to know she wasn't going to leave him, but something in the back of his head told him that this had already been decided.

...

Emily returned hours later. She found Lee sitting on the steps outside of the building. He stood when she approached. Just seeing him made her almost change her mind, but she held fast to her decision, the one she had spent so long making. She could not be with someone who couldn't be honest about their job because what else was he not being honest about? Who was to say he wasn't being honest about wanting to be with her? She did not want to take that risk.

"I'm so sorry," he started.

"You and I are over," she cut him off. It still hit him hard even though he had expected it.

"Em..."

"Let me finish," she said, holding up her hand. He closed his mouth. "You lied to me, Lee. I can't trust you now. I can't believe you would keep this from me. I can't have a relationship with someone who lies to me." It was half true. The other half was that she knew he was going to leave her eventually anyway, so it was best to end it now on her terms before that happened.

"Emily, please."

"No, Lee," she said, starting to cry. "It's done."

Lee stared at her, willing her to change her mind, but he knew that wasn't going to happen. He also knew what it was really about.

"You're afraid, Em, of being with me, and God knows why. It's got nothing to do with what I do for a living. I think you accepted that the moment you heard it. No, this is about your job and how I don't agree with it. It's easier to use my job as an excuse for ending this relationship."

"You're being ridiculous..."

"You are afraid of me," Lee said again louder, cutting her off. "Because being with me makes you think about your father, and you can't bear to think about him at all."

"Do NOT bring my father into this!" Emily shouted, shaking now.

"Being with me," Lee went on, "makes you feel good, and for whatever reason, you can't allow yourself to feel good about yourself. You are self-sabotaging, Em."

"Stop," she commanded. "I'm afraid of you because you kill people, Lee."

"Really. So if a man came up to you and tried to kill you but I killed him first, you would side with the guy trying to kill you?" Lee challenged.

"That sentence makes my head literally want to explode," she said, gripping at her forehead.

"Admit it, you'd be relieved that I saved you," Lee went on. "That's what I do for people, Emily. I save people whether it's in the moment or stopping someone from causing more harm in a more distant way."

"This conversation is over," Emily said, moving to go inside.

"Emily," Lee said, grabbing her arm. She tried to twist out of his grasp, but he held on. "You know I'm right. You're scared of how good this is, so you're using this as a reason to break it off."

"Think what you want, Lee. It doesn't change anything," she said. "Let me go, please."

He released her, and she went inside. He gripped his face and swore out loud. He lost her. After everything, he lost her. What would Edward think of him now?

...

Emily was stopped by Eric when she entered the apartment.

"What happened?" he demanded.

"Did you know?" she asked. "About his job? What he did?"

"Yea," Eric answered honestly, abandoning the idea of lying once he saw her face. "I did."

"It didn't bother you?"

"No. Hell, I almost joined him, but I can't stomach that sort of stuff."

Emily didn't say anything else before going to her room.

"What do you want for dinner?" he asked before she shut her door.

"I'm not hungry," she answered. She avoided Eric's eyes, knowing he was just as devastated as she was to see her revert back to her old self so quickly. She shut her door and tried to forget about everything. She cried and cried on the bed, knowing that Lee was right in every way. His job did not bother her. If he saved people, then who was she to be upset? No, it was the fact that she couldn't let herself be happy. She couldn't feel good about herself because she didn't remember how. The fear inside of her about Lee casting her aside for someone else was too great to stuff down anymore, so she wanted to break it off first and save herself from getting hurt. There was also the lying thing, though, but she understood why he didn't tell her about his job. How could he have told her without knowing her reaction, without worrying her?

"What did you do?!" Eric was shouting outside her room. "She looked terrible. What did you say to her?!" She gulped and paused her crying, listening.

"It was her choice," Lee was saying back.

"I told you, man. I told you if you hurt her..."

"She's only hurting herself," Lee interrupted. "And she knows it."

"So how is this going to work? Us all living here?" Eric demanded.

"I don't know," Lee answered. It was quiet, and Emily strained her ears to hear.

"Just...don't make it weird," Eric finally said.

"I'll do my best," Lee responded. She heard him go into his room then and shut the door. She could feel him on the other side of her wall. She wanted to get up and go to him and forget this whole thing ever happened, but she couldn't move. That dark part of her brain was congratulating her on saving herself from disaster and hurt in the future. She had no idea what to do now.

...

Lee paused when Emily came out of her room the next morning dressed for work. Every fiber of his being wanted to hug her and apologize and try to fix things. He didn't, though. It was too soon.

Emily didn't know what to say, so in the end, she didn't say anything at all. There was a moment, a brief moment, where Lee opened the door for her, and she hesitated in front of him, knowing she could easily fix everything with either one word or one gesture, but she didn't.

"Have a good day," he said. She felt like she was going to cry, but she nodded.

"Thank you."

She walked away cursing herself for not even saying she hoped he had a good day too.

When she got to work, she found another woman waiting for an interview. Andrea Sachs. One look told Emily that this girl had no sense of fashion and was most definitely in the wrong place. She went through with the interview, though. She was short and clipped in her speech, but what did one expect when one had just broken up with the only man she'd ever loved? Emily toughened her resolve. Better to dump than be dumped. He'd wake up eventually and realize she was flawed and hopeless. She just beat him to it.

"Who is Miranda?" Andrea asked after Emily finished telling her about the last two girls that got sacked. Emily felt like her head was going to explode. She stared at Andrea.

"I am going to forget you said that," Emily said. "Honestly, you're joking right? Miranda is the editor in chief of _Runway_ and a freaking legend. A year working for her and you will get doors opened for you anywhere you want. There are a million other girls lined up for this job."

"I...I'd love to be considered..." Andrea started. Emily's phone went off then, and she almost screamed. As if this day could get any worse.

"Oh, dear God," Emily said, her voice strangled. She looked up at the nearest person to her. "She's coming! Tell everyone!"

There was a flurry of movement then, and Emily ran around while the frumpy girl tagged along. Emily finished making Miranda's office look decent and ran towards the elevator just as it opened. Emily could barely focus when Miranda started her tirade. Emily had grown used to these tirades in the last year.

"Who is that?" Miranda asked, cutting into Emily's trance and seeing Andrea.

"Oh, no one," Emily said, trying to block her view of Andrea. "She's someone's idea of a joke. I just finished her pre-interview, and I can tell you she is not right for the job."

"Well, I guess I'm going to have to hire for this position myself since the last two you sent me were the most inadequate human beings I'd ever seen," Miranda commented. "Send her in. That's all."

The blade sank in deep, but Emily showed no sign of being stabbed. She turned and went over to Andrea.

"Get in there. She wants to see you."

"What?!"

"Go!" Emily hissed, shoving the girl forward into the Devil's den. After less than three minutes, Andrea walked out looking shaky and as though she had been through the wringer. Emily was fairly certain she'd never see her again until Miranda called her into her office when Andrea was gone.

"I changed my mind," Miranda said.

"About?"

"The new girl. Go get her."

"I...are you sure?"

"Yes. Are you deaf? Get her back here. Now go!" Miranda snapped.

"Going!" Emily exclaimed, rushing down to the lobby to catch Andrea before she left. If this didn't work out, Emily knew she was going to be in big trouble.

...

Eric was waiting for her when she got home. Emily was exhausted and so not in the mood.

"You doing okay?" Eric asked her.

"I'm fine."

Emily didn't see Lee, so she wondered where he was. All day she had thought of him. She knew she was being stupid, that Lee was right and she was refusing something that was good for her, but her fear was preventing her from admitting it.

"He wanted to tell you," Eric said. "He just didn't know how."

"We're just not a good fit, Eric," Emily said firmly. "That's all."

"Right," Eric said, giving her a look. "You tell yourself that."

Emily didn't want to get into a big argument with him, so she disappeared into her room and fell onto her bed. She was lying there thinking about Andrea and how big of a mistake that was when she heard Lee come home.

"Hey, Shadow," he said. She pictured him petting the dog like he always did before taking off his hat and tool belt. She imagined him getting a glass of water and standing there looking out at the city as he drank it. She envisioned him looking at her door and contemplating barging in to talk to her. She wished he would.

Lee was indeed staring at her closed door, but he knew better than to barge in there. She needed time to think and process. If Lee knew one thing about women, it was you didn't press them right away for another big talk after the first one went badly.

"You guys are gonna have to talk sometime," Eric said, seeing Lee.

"I know."

"I gotta get to work. I can't play referee tonight unfortunately," Eric went on. "Get along, okay?"

"Thanks for your support, Eric," Lee said sarcastically. The door shut, and he stood in the silence debating what to do. In the end, he did nothing. He had no idea that Emily wanted him to do something on the other side of her door, but really, she knew she could do something too. She just didn't know what. Oh, what a big mess it all was.

* * *

**Will things ever be the same? You'll have to just keep reading! Also, I used this break up as a way of explaining Emily's behavior in the film. **


	14. Chapter 14

**WoodenOwl31: I so look forward to your reviews because they make me laugh so much. You are probably gonna want to add Miranda to your hit list after this chapter :P**

* * *

Emily was already gone when Lee got up the next morning. He struggled to get up as it was. He ached with missing her even though it had been two days since their break up. He kept wondering if he had just told her sooner, would things be different right now? He was ignoring Barney's messages. He didn't feel like getting lectured about something he already knew. Lee noticed there was nothing in the dishwasher to indicate that Emily had eaten that morning, and he felt frustrated. A part of him wanted to confront her at work about it, but he knew she would probably get very angry at him, and that was the last thing he wanted right now. He decided to go out for a walk or a run, whatever suited him in the moment. He'd go wherever his feet took him.

…

"That's the new me," Emily said to Serena, who was staring at Andrea. The girl looked lost and confused. It had been one hell of a morning, and Emily was exasperated with her. How hard was it to do the things Miranda asked? Emily remembered her first day was a little overwhelming, but she wasn't stupid and picked up on things quickly, so what was wrong with Andrea? Emily knew she was being a bit harsh with Andrea, but she had to let out her feelings and anger about Lee somewhere. Andrea was just the unlucky target.

"Seriously?" Serena asked. Emily nodded. "I thought you were yanking my chain."

"Nope. Anyway," Emily said. "Andrea, I'm going to lunch. I'll be gone 20 minutes. You can take your 15 minute lunch when I get back."

"O-Okay," Andy said.

"And do not leave the desk," Emily warned.

"Got it," Andy nodded.

"What is she wearing?" Serena asked as they walked away together.

"Something from the Stone Age I imagine. Maybe her great-grandmother owned it," Emily sniggered. Serena snorted with laughter, and they were soon gone from the office. Emily did her best to keep it together as her heart dealt with being torn in half. The digs towards Andy were uncalled for, she knew, but a part of her didn't care. She was hurt thus she wanted to hurt others. She didn't care if she was being mean.

"Where is Mr. Handsome?" Serena asked. "Doesn't he usually come with your lunch by now?"

"We broke up," Emily answered. Then she burst into tears.

"What?! Em, are you serious?!" Serena asked, shocked.

"Yes," Emily nodded. She wiped at her eyes then, not wanting others to see her cry while they were still in the lobby.

"What happened?"

"It just didn't work out," Emily lied.

"Oh, please," Serena said. "I don't buy that for a second. What did he do?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Emily insisted as they got outside. She didn't think Serena would understand Lee's job anyway. Serena stopped walking then, and Emily stopped a few steps later, seeing the same thing Serena was.

It was Lee, sitting on the bench outside of her building.

"You should talk to him," Serena suggested when Emily turned away and was facing her friend.

"I can't," Emily shook her head.

"He obviously wants to talk to you. Why else would he be sitting there right now?" Serena challenged.

"No..."

Serena grabbed Emily by the shoulders and propelled her backwards towards Lee. He watched, slightly amused, as Serena forced Emily, who was clearly swearing and fighting with Serena, to sit down beside him.

"I will hit you," Serena warned when Emily tried to get up again. She looked back and forth between Lee and Emily. "Talk."

Emily clenched her jaw as Serena walked away far enough to not overhear but close enough to stop her from bailing.

"You doing okay?" Lee asked.

"No, I am not doing bloody well okay," Emily answered.

"Me either."

"I'm not changing my mind," Emily said firmly. She was, however, thinking of how much she wanted him to change her mind.

"I know."

They were quiet for a while, and Emily knew she had to get back to work.

"You get someone to fill your old job?" he asked. He was desperate to keep talking to her.

"Yes, and she's an idiot," Emily sighed. "I will be astounded if she lasts the week."

"That's harsh," Lee commented.

"Yes, well, I'm a little harsh these days," Emily spat out.

"I'm sorry," Lee said, knowing it was partly his fault.

"I have to go," Emily said abruptly. Lee caught her arm before she stood up.

"Can we at least be friends?" he asked. "Or be able to speak to one another without the hate?"

"I don't know..."

"Em, we're roommates. We have to find a way to get along."

She knew this was true. In all honesty, she wanted to just forget it all and go back to the way things were when they were together and happy, but she was afraid to. There was so much doubt in her mind right now, more so than usual.

"I'll try," she nodded finally.

"That's all I ask."

"I really do have to go now," Emily said.

"Right," he said, releasing her. It took all she had to not throw herself in his arms and kiss him. She forced herself up and walked back towards the office. Serena clacked hurriedly behind her, her shoes hitting the sidewalk hard.

"Well?" she asked.

"We agreed to get along," Emily answered. "That's all."

"It's a start," Serena said encouragingly.

"I guess."

They were standing by the elevator now.

"Good luck with the rest of your day," Serena said.

"Thanks."

Emily went up to find Andy wiggling like a puppy having to go out.

"Are you serious?" Emily asked. "I had to wait hours for you, and you can't even do 20 minutes?!"

"I didn't go after all my running around," Andy said defensively.

"Well, go on then," Emily said, annoyed. "Go!"

Andy bolted from her desk like a bullet from a gun. Emily sat down and pressed her head into her hands. She was trapped inside a nightmare.

...

Lee was moving to leave when he saw James. The guy was oblivious to Lee as he walked and talked on his phone. Lee did not take long to come up behind him. When James hung up, Lee smacked his elbow, causing James to lose grip of his phone. It went flying, and James swore before turning around to see Lee. His face went white.

"Don't think I don't know what you did," Lee said. He worked to keep his fists to himself and his voice calm.

"I only did it to protect her," James said defensively.

"From what?" Lee challenged.

"From a liar, a killer."

"There's a difference between what I do and what murderers do," Lee pointed out. "I stop the murderers, not that I expect you to even understand or give a shit. You had no right doing what you did."

"I did it because I care about Emily."

"You meddled because you couldn't handle Emily not being with you," Lee said, jabbing his finger into James's chest now. He resisted wrapping his fist around James's neck.

"I did not," James objected.

"If you think that you're just gonna slip back into a relationship with her, you're kidding yourself," Lee said.

"Vulnerable women are the easiest to date," James smirked. Lee took a step closer, making James jump back.

"You leave her alone," Lee warned.

"What, you think she's gonna go running back to you? She told me she hates you," James commented. Lee felt a shot to his heart at this, but he also knew James was a snake. Emily wouldn't say that, would she?

James knew he had planted doubt into Lee's mind. He gloated inside.

"May the best man win," he said. Lee released him, looking disgusted.

"This isn't a game, and Emily is not something to be won," Lee said.

"That's because you just know I'd win," James sneered. Lee had to step away because there were too many people watching, and he didn't trust himself to not punch James right in the face. Or the throat.

"If you can't see that what you're planning on doing is hurtful to Emily, then you have no idea how to care for Emily or know how to treat her," Lee said before he turned to leave. James picked up his phone from the ground and gave his head a toss as he stalked back to work.

...

Miranda had heard through the gossip chain that Emily had broken up with Lee. She smiled to herself. The girl was finally coming to her senses. How many times did Miranda have to warn her that Lee was a bad distraction? She knew the man was no good. It was why she had him followed and discreetly gave the pictures to James to give to Emily. She knew James was still pining for Emily. Let him take the fall for breaking them up. She knew he would show Emily the pictures. She knew he wouldn't ask questions about where those photos came from, that he'd let on he was the hero for saving Emily from such a liar like Lee in hopes that Emily would be so grateful to him and get back with him. Miranda sniffed and went back to her work. Things could finally start to get back to normal around there.

...

The weeks went by, and Emily did her job while Andy did hers. Andy was slowly getting better, which Emily was relieved to see. She didn't want to lose her job for bringing Andy on board. Emily spent those weeks dodging James, who was trying too hard to get back with her after hearing she and Lee had split up, and acting civil at home with Lee as promised. Her diet was very poor, and Emily was working overtime to stay as thin as possible in order to continue getting approval at work. She knew Lee and Eric noticed, but she didn't care. It was her life, not theirs.

Then one night, Emily cracked. It was triggered by seeing Lee's bag by the door as he got ready to leave for his job. Emily had thought that maybe he'd quit since it was the main factor in their break up. It was a silly thought to have. What would it have changed?

"You're leaving," she said bluntly.

"Yes," he nodded.

"Right. Well, don't get blown up or something," she said, her tone full of anger.

"I'm very good at what I do, Em," Lee replied. "But thank you for the sentiment."

"You know, you went on about me caring too much about my job, yet you're doing the same thing," she accused.

"I'm not consumed by my work," Lee argued. "I am not my boss's slave, and I certainly don't let my job affect my physical health." He knew that came out wrong, and it took seconds for her to challenge it.

"Oh really?" Emily said sarcastically. "So you coming home with a knife wound in your leg wasn't an impact to your health? And what about getting shot at? I'm pretty sure that impacts your physical health." Emily had figured out that his big wound was from his job all those months ago, and she felt stupid for not recognizing that it was a knife wound to start with.

"I meant I'm not starving myself," Lee said back impatiently.

"I am _not_ starving myself," Emily argued. They were standing in front of each other now.

"What did you eat today?" Lee challenged.

"It's none of your business..."

"So nothing then?"

"Why don't you just go and leave me alone," she snapped.

"Fine, I'll go. Maybe I'll die, and you'll never have to see me or be bothered by me again," Lee said angrily. The instant he said it, though, he regretted it. Emily looked as though she had been slapped. She turned away to hide her sudden tears, her hand over her mouth.

"Em, I didn't mean it," he said, reaching for her.

"How could you even say that?" she asked, dodging his hand.

"I'm sorry. It was stupid. I was just mad," Lee apologized.

"Do you know that I think about you dying all the time now because of your job?" Emily asked. "Ever since you told me?"

"I didn't," he answered. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to worry you. It's...it's partly why I didn't tell you."

"If you walk out that door, I might not ever see you again," she went on. "Do you know how much that hurts me?"

Lee didn't know what to say. Of course he had worried about dying on her, but he never thought about what she would be thinking. Then again, this was his first job since he'd told her.

"I'm sorry," he repeated, not knowing what else to tell her. He put his hand on her shoulder, and she didn't pull away this time. Emily kept thinking about this being potentially the last time she saw him. She suddenly didn't care that they were broken up. His hand was still on her shoulder, and it took no effort at all to close the gap and hug him tightly. When his arms encircled her tightly back, Emily realized how much she had missed him even though he was living in the same apartment.

"I'll be all right," he told her.

"Promise me," she said fiercely. Her forehead was resting against his cheek.

"I promise to try," he said. "I can't control things out of my hands."

Emily didn't really know what she was doing. Yes, she was angry that he hadn't told her about his job. Yes, she was worried he was going to leave her for someone else, but she also knew that Lee was good for her in so many ways. Tired of thinking and wondering and worrying, she made her decision. She felt his shock when she kissed him hard. Soon, though, his hand was on the back of her head, holding her closer to him as he kissed her back.

"I need you," she whispered after.

"Are you sure, Em?"

"Yes. I just want you," she replied. The weeks of longing came bursting forth, her fingers digging into his back. Lee knew full well he was supposed to be leaving now for work, but he also knew that if he left now, Emily would walk from him. So he stayed. In the end, he knew it was worth it.

...

Emily was tangled in Lee's arms when the pounding on the door started. She lurched awake, seeing that it was just after midnight. Had Eric forgotten his keys? Lee stirred beside her.

"Lee Christmas!" a voice shouted through the door. "I know you're in there!"

Lee was upright now and very alert.

"Shit," he said.

"I'm not afraid to break the door down!" the voice yelled.

"Who is that?" Emily asked, a little afraid.

"It's Barney," Lee answered, getting up and throwing his pants on, rushing to the door. Curious, Emily put her robe on and followed, hanging back a little.

"About time," Barney growled when Lee opened the door. Emily was taken aback at how hard this man looked. He was older, and definitely Italian, but his eyes had almost a steeliness to them.

"You didn't get my message?" Lee asked.

"What message?"

"It got lost in transit then," Lee said. Emily knew he had not left Barney a message of any kind because he had been very preoccupied with her.

"Okay, you've clearly had your fun, now it's time to go," Barney said.

"I'm not going," Lee told him.

"You're not going?" Barney repeated. Lee nodded. If he left now, he'd never know if this rekindling with Emily was real or if it was spur of the moment because she thought he might die.

"Like hell are you not going," Barney said. "I need you. We need you. We are a team, Christmas."

"Lee?" Emily said then. He turned to look at her. "It's okay. You should go."

"You're Emily?" Barney asked her. She nodded. He looked at Lee. "I love her already. She's smart. Get your shit, and let's go."

"Are you sure?" Lee asked her.

"Yes," she nodded.

"We are losing our window the longer you piss around," Barney told him.

"All right. I'm going," Lee said, hurrying back to Emily's room for the rest of his clothes. She went in after him and immediately went to hold him again.

"Are you sure?" he asked again. He was afraid that his leaving would change what was happening here.

"We can talk when you get back," she promised.

"Okay," he nodded. He kissed her one last time.

"CHRISTMAS! TODAY!" Barney bellowed.

"He seems very pleasant," Emily said sarcastically.

"Underneath all that assholeness, he's a good guy," Lee replied. He reluctantly released her then and went out for his bag, which he slung over his shoulder.

"Nice to meet you," Barney said to Emily as they went out the door. When they were gone, Emily discovered that she felt a little relieved knowing that a guy like Barney had Lee's back.

...

"Nice of you to join us," Toll joked as Lee boarded the plane. The others had been sitting there waiting for Barney to come back with Lee.

"Was she worth it?" Gunner asked.

"Excuse me?" Lee countered.

"I'm assuming you were with a woman," Gunner commented. Caesar was smirking while Yin pretended not to be listening. Toll was grinning himself and looking over his book through his glasses at Lee.

"It's none of your-" Lee started.

"Her name's Emily, and she's a great gal," Barney answered for Lee, cutting him off. He shoved his cigar into his mouth and sat down in his seat, turning the switches on and firing up the plane. Lee glared at him before sitting down across from him.

"I thought you two were broken up?" Barney questioned when they were up in the air.

"We were."

"So what changed?"

"I'm not too sure," Lee admitted.

"Backslide?" Barney asked, looking at him.

"I'd like to think not," Lee answered gruffly.

"Well, I don't know what else to say."

"Then don't say anything else," Lee instructed. He rested his head on his hand and thought about Emily and what had happened earlier that night. Had she meant to do it? Was it simply a moment of passion? Did she want to get back together? He wished they had more time to talk about it before he left. He tried not to worry about it anymore.

...

"You slept with him?" Serena asked in a hushed voice. They were at Emily's desk. Andy wasn't there yet, not surprisingly.

"I did," Emily nodded.

"I thought you were mad at him?"

"I was."

"Are you back together?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean, you don't know?" Serena challenged.

"We didn't talk about it."

"So this was like your last night of passion then," Serena commented.

"I don't know what it was," Emily huffed. She was regretting telling Serena now.

"Just be careful," Serena warned. "Don't forget about the reasons you broke up in the first place. They sometimes creep back up and tear it apart all over again. I'd love to see you two stay together, but I also don't want you to get hurt."

Before Emily could answer, Andy came dashing into the office. She just got her shoes off when Miranda stalked in, threw her coat down on Andy's desk, and barked out something about a reservation at the restaurant that got good reviews. Emily knew Miranda was being tough on Andy, and Emily was thankful that Miranda had not been quite so tough on her when she had started. Emily wondered what it was about Andy that made Miranda act much harsher.

"James keeps asking me about you, by the way," Serena said.

"Ugh. He's never going to give up, is he?"

"You gotta admit, it's kind of cute."

"It's really not." James's aggressiveness about them getting back together was greatly repulsing Emily. She wished he would stop.

"Two guys after you," Serena mused. "Life must be so tough."

"Get out," Emily ordered. Serena laughed as she clacked off in her shoes. Andy was looking at Emily with the expression that said she wanted to ask Emily about the two guys thing.

"What are you staring at?" Emily demanded.

"Nothing!"

"Good," Emily sniffed. She went back to her computer, but she couldn't help but think of Lee and wondered where he was. She also couldn't help but think about what they had done and whether or not it was a good idea to pursue their relationship.

…

Emily did a lot of thinking while she waited for Lee to come home, and when he did about a week later, she greeted him at the door as though she hadn't seen him in years.

"Ah," he winced as she hugged him tightly.

"What happened?" she asked, concerned. She pulled back to look at him.

"It's fine," he dismissed. Not buying it, Emily pulled up his shirt and exposed all the bruising on his torso. She felt sick suddenly. Lee stood there watching her to see how she would react.

"Who did this to you?" she asked, her voice almost in a whisper. She suddenly knew she couldn't handle this, seeing him like this and knowing he could have died.

"It doesn't matter," Lee shook his head.

"Because they're dead, right?"

"Yea," Lee nodded. He could see Emily processing this, and he knew she was struggling with it.

"Okay," she finally said.

"Em, it's all right if you can't do this," Lee said. It was devastating to him, but he couldn't force her to be with him if his job bothered her this much. He'd been thinking about it a lot while he was away. It wasn't fair of him to expect her to be able to cope with what he did.

"I just hate seeing you so hurt," she replied.

"I've had worse," he told her. Emily didn't want to know what worse looked like.

"I want to do this, but I don't know how to do this," Emily said. She searched his eyes for an answer, but she only found sadness.

"Then maybe it's for the best if we don't," Lee said softly. It broke his heart, but he wanted her to be happy, not tormented from worrying about him all the time.

"But every time I see you, I just want you," she said. She felt her world shattering again. "Can you quit?"

"Would you quit your job for me?" he countered. She knew he had her there.

"No," she shook her head.

"I can't either," he said quietly.

"I understand."

They stood there in silence, both of them feeling their hearts break at the impasse that was before them.

"I'll move out," Lee said after a while. "To make it easier."

"Where will you go?"

"New Orleans. Barney's been bugging me to move down there anyway."

"I'm going to miss you so much," Emily said, feeling the tears come then.

"I'll miss you too, but it'll get better," Lee promised. "We had a good run, huh? What is it that they say? It's better to have had and lost than to never have had at all?"

"I hate that saying," she said. She didn't correct him that the saying was with the word "love," not "had." Somehow it would hurt more.

"I'll always care about you, Em," he promised. Somehow this made her feel worse inside, but she knew better than to force something to work that wasn't going to work. Emily hugged him again but more gently this time, and he held her close while she cried. He knew his leaving was for the best, but it didn't stop the pain inside. He already knew that he probably would never get over her, not in a million years.

* * *

**I know, I know, it's angsty, but please don't stop reading!**


	15. Chapter 15

**Guest: Don't worry. Miranda is gonna get hers, but not in this story. It will happen in the sequel that I'm already writing.**

**WoodenOwl31: Ha! I was tempted to have Lee beat him up, but he didn't want Emily to think less of him. **

**Happy reading!**

* * *

"I'm spending the weekend with my father. I'm picking him up after work," Andy was saying. "We're going to have a great time together."

Emily kept her facial expression in check, but hearing Andy talk about her father made her want to cry.

"Do you have any plans for the weekend?" Andy asked her. Emily forced herself to look at her.

"Yes," she said stiffly. _Sit on my couch and cry over Lee Christmas. _It had been three weeks since she had last seen him, but it still hurt so much. She missed him every day. She hated that she couldn't be okay with him and his job like she thought she could be. She hated that her fear of vulnerability also took over when she least expected it.

"Okay, well, see you on Monday," Andy said, waving. Emily didn't respond. When she was finally alone, she broke down into tears. She would give anything to talk to her father one more time let alone spend a whole weekend with him. Andy had no idea how lucky she was. Emily pulled out her phone and hovered over Lee's name. If anyone understood her pain about her father, it was him, but they weren't talking so as to spare themselves the pain, and she was too afraid to reach out first and break the silence. He hadn't made an effort either. That said a lot right there. She put her phone down and dropped her face into her hands, crying.

"Emily?" James asked, popping his head in. She lifted her head and instantly started wiping her eyes.

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"You sure?"

"Yes, James."

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry," James said after a moment, still standing in the doorway.

"For what?"

"For you feeling this way."

Emily didn't know what to say to that because she hadn't forgotten just who had given her the envelope of photos, but James didn't linger. He tapped the door frame and left, which surprised her. It was the first time he hadn't suggested they hang out or have a drink or hook up. Maybe he was finally getting the hint. Emily dragged herself up out of her seat and put on her coat. She had a whole weekend alone facing her. Eric was working but had promised to spend some time with her during the day before he started his shift. She might even call her mother. Emily shuddered. She hadn't exactly told her mother that things with Lee were over. She didn't want to hear any "I told you so" from her. Emily left the office feeling a little relieved to not be on call for once.

...

Lee sat with the guys in Tool's tattoo parlor shop, and they drank beer and swapped stories. Lee, however, was quiet. He was thinking about Emily, wondering what she was doing and if she was eating.

"Call her," Barney said, nudging him.

"I can't," Lee answered. "It's too hard."

"Why did you break up again?"

"She doesn't need the fear and stress of my job on her plate along with her own issues," Lee answered dully.

"So quit," Barney shrugged.

"That's your solution?"

"Well, if you want my opinion."

"You'd quit for a girl?"

"No, but that's me."

"I can't quit what I love, just like I wouldn't expect her to quit what she loves doing."

"But what happens when you love two things and can only have one?" Barney challenged. Lee couldn't answer because he didn't know what to say.

"Excuse me," he said, leaving and going to another room. He pulled out his phone and dialed.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Eric. It's me."

"Hey."

"How are things?" Lee asked.

"Things aren't so good," Eric answered, knowing that "things" was code for Emily.

"No?"

"No. Things are barely getting by, and things are definitely missing you."

"Did I make a mistake, Eric?" Lee asked, cutting to the chase. Eric sighed.

"I don't know, man. If she can't handle your job, then it's the right choice I guess. The fear of losing you at any point in time is a lot for her."

"You've talked?"

"Ehh sort of," Eric replied. "She keeps to herself mostly."

"Is she eating?"

Eric made a sound in his throat.

"Eric? Is she eating?"

"Not a heck of a lot," Eric answered truthfully. Lee closed his eyes and pressed his lips together.

"Are you...?"

"I'm working on it," Eric finished for him. "She's going on about Paris and how she needs to be 'super thin' for it. I've seen her eat some cheese."

"It's my fault."

"No, Lee, it's not your fault. She was struggling with this long before you."

"I..."

"I gotta go. She's here," Eric said, cutting him off.

"Okay."

"Take care."

Lee held his phone in his hands and wished that he was with the two of them instead of being so far away.

...

"I thought you weren't on call?" Eric asked when Emily's phone went off that night. She had come down to the bar with him while he worked because she didn't want to be alone. He had tucked his phone away after Lee's call just as she sat across from him.

"I'm not," she frowned, seeing it was Andy. She answered. "What?"

Eric wiped the bar top and watched Emily's face as she listened. He could hear the frantic squealing of the caller on the other end.

"I don't know," Emily said impatiently. "She didn't call me. She called _you_. It's up to you to figure this out. Good bye." She hung up fiercely.

"What's up?" Eric asked.

"Miranda asked Andrea to get her a flight home tonight, and Andrea is saying she can't do it because of a hurricane," Emily sniffed.

"Does Devil Woman think she's God or something?" Eric asked.

"Miranda is a very important person."

"Not important enough to get a flight in a hurricane," Eric pointed out.

"Andrea is going to get it when she comes back," Emily nodded.

"You really don't like this Andrea girl, do you?"

"I'm not sure why," Emily admitted. Andy just got under her skin. Emily, however, was easily irritated by anyone and anything lately it seemed. She watched Eric wiping the bar down absently. Ever since Andy said she was with her father, she couldn't stop thinking about hers.

"Do you ever think about Dad?" she asked suddenly. Eric stopped what he was doing and looked at her.

"Every day," he answered. "Why?"

"I just...I try not to think about him, and I don't know why."

"Because it hurts," Eric pointed out. "I know."

"But...I should still be okay with thinking about him."

"You'll get there eventually," Eric promised.

"How is it so easy for you? To think about him all the time?"

"Because I think about him as though he's watching me from somewhere," Eric replied. "Maybe that's stupid, but I believe he's closer than we think."

"I just feel so...broken," Emily said sadly. "And Lee used to make me feel better about Dad, and now he's gone...I don't even know if he's alive. I wish I could just shut my brain off. I keep thinking the worst."

"Lee called," Eric confessed. He wanted to assure her Lee was all right.

"He did?"

"Yea."

"Did he ask about me?"

"Of course, Em. He's still crazy about you," Eric answered. It had been obvious. "Tell me again why you two broke up?"

"I can't handle the idea of losing him to death on the job, and I don't allow myself to ever be happy," Emily answered.

"Those are both stupid reasons."

"I know, but it is what it is."

Eric just shook his head as he went about his work. He thought about Lee and how down he had seemed on the phone. He knew both of them were in pain, but he didn't know how to make them figure it out and get back together.

...

On the fourth week of missing Lee, Emily had had enough. Andy was still moaning about the mishap with Miranda missing her daughters' event because Andy couldn't fly her home in a hurricane, and Emily was tired of hearing it as well as tired of feeling cranky. It was Friday night again, and Emily had lucked out on not being on call again because Miranda was still punishing Andy. Emily had an idea, and she knew it was crazy and stupid and so not what she should be doing, but she had to do it. She needed to do it.

"Lucky you," Andy sighed. "Two weekends off in a row."

"Yes, lucky me," Emily agreed sarcastically. "It's not my fault you made her angry at you."

"I'm not God," Andy spluttered. "I couldn't stop the hurricane or get her a flight. Nobody could, and you know it!"

"Not my problem," Emily retorted. She grabbed her coat and bag and headed out, not looking back. She made her way to the apartment, still thinking about what she was doing and how crazy she was to do it. She heard Eric in the shower when she entered, and she paused. It was sneaky, but it needed to be done. She went over to his phone, which was lying on the counter abandoned. She turned it on, entered his pathetically obvious password, and snooped through the messages between him and Lee. She frowned. They talked about her quite a bit, and Eric was blatantly doing his best to convince Lee to not be stupid and come home. That was interesting. Lee's responses were all the same: he couldn't quit his job, and he couldn't expect Emily to just be able to cope with his work, that it wasn't fair to her. She went further back and found what she was looking for.

**We hang out at Tool's Tattoo Parlor. You'd love it.**

"Gotcha," she said to herself, writing it down and putting it in her purse. She put Eric's phone back. Hopefully he wouldn't figure it out. She hurriedly changed into jeans and a white blouse and grabbed her backpack and stuffed some essentials into it. She left a note for Eric saying she was having a girl's weekend with Serena. Hopefully he'd buy it. Then, she left.

...

"Oh, so you think you're a hotshot now," Tool said, his knife in his hand as he aimed it at the target. Lee was smirking as he watched. He had sunk his in the bull's eye moments earlier.

"I don't think it. I know it," Lee commented back.

"Ahhh!" Tool cried as he threw and hit the edge of the target.

"Maybe you oughta not be drinking while doing that?" Toll suggested, laughing. "Cos even I know you can throw better than that."

"Stay out of it, Bookworm," Tool said back. Toll just laughed even more. His usual book he was reading was out of sight for the moment, but it was true. He was the reader out of the group.

Lee tried to enjoy all of this, but he was struggling. He still missed Emily. He still ached inside about it all. It was all he had in him to not book a flight and fly to New York that night just to be with her. He looked at the clock. It was ten at night now, which would be eleven for New York. She was probably already in bed. He wondered if she had to work this weekend. Barney and Caesar were chatting about something by the bar, so Lee went to join them since Tool had gone back to his drink. Gunner and Yin were playing pool with Gunner cursing every so often because Yin was very obviously beating him.

"Are you ever going to stop looking like your dog just died?" Barney asked him.

"Are you ever going to stop saying ridiculous shit?" Lee countered.

"No."

"Then me either."

Barney laughed and reached to shove Lee's shoulder in jest. There was the sound of the front door opening then, and a draft of air followed it.

"Are ya lost, little lady?" Tool asked.

"I don't think so," the woman answered. "This is Tool's place, right?" Lee froze, his beer midair halfway to his mouth. All the guys were looking at the stranger now, and Lee finally forced himself to turn and see her with his own two eyes.

"Well I'll be damned," Barney commented.

"You know this gal?" Tool asked, looking at him.

"We've met. Lee knows her very well, though," Barney answered, giving Lee a cuff to the back of his head. Lee's beer almost lurched out of his hand from the cuff, and he put it on the bar while giving Barney a glare in return.

Emily stood there feeling awkward and nervous, her backpack over her shoulder. All of these men looked very tough and scary, and they were all staring at her. She hugged herself. Lee unglued himself from his stool finally and went over to her.

"Hi," she said when he was in front of her, her voice a bit wobbly.

"What are you doing here?" he asked, concerned. "Is everything all right? Is your mom okay? Eric?"

"They're fine," she answered. Lee could sense that the team was still watching and listening. He gave them all a pointed look as he took her elbow and guided her to a more private area.

"So why are you here then?" he asked again once they were out of earshot.

"I just...I wanted to see you. Maybe this was a mistake," she said, going to leave. He caught her arm again.

"Hang on," he said. "You come all the way here to see me just to leave after five seconds?"

"I'm sensing you aren't happy to see me," she responded. Lee caught sight of Barney hanging by the door and listening, so he went over and shut it firmly in Barney's face. He didn't miss the look he got in return.

"Bloody eavesdroppers," he muttered. He turned back to Emily. "Em, I am happy to see you. I'm just confused as to why you're here when it was decided this wasn't going to work."

"I don't know. I've asked myself the same question all day," she said. Lee looked at her and felt warm inside. He spent a lot of time during the days imagining and remembering what she looked like. Now that she was here, it felt surreal.

"Eric tell you where I was?" he asked.

"I looked at his phone."

Lee chuckled at this. Of course she did. In all honesty, though, he was hoping she would do exactly that, which was why he told Eric about Tool's.

"You got the weekend off?"

"Yes."

"So what do you wanna do?" he questioned. Emily never broke eye contact with him for this entire exchange until after this question. He saw her eyes flick to his lips quickly and then back to his eyes. Message received.

"Anything," she answered.

Lee wasted no time closing the gap between them and kissing her fiercely. Emily gripped him close to her, feeling on fire. She had desperately needed this, wanted this.

"You get a hotel room yet?" he asked in her ear, breathless.

"Not yet," she answered, just as out of breath as he was.

"Come on then," he said, pulling her hand. They went out of the room and towards the exit. Lee had not missed Barney's clumsy, backward leap to appear as though he hadn't been standing right there as soon as the door had opened. He didn't care at this point.

"No drink together first?" Barney called after them. Lee ignored him, letting the door slam behind him be his answer back. Emily paused when she saw his bike.

"I...I've never been on one of those," she said, nervous again. Lee handed her his helmet and gave her arm a reassuring squeeze.

"Hang on tight," he advised. She put the helmet on as he started the bike. She briefly thought of how it was going to wreck her hair but let it go. This was not about her looks. She gingerly climbed on behind him and grabbed him around the middle. When he set off, she shrieked, not being used to the feeling of riding a bike. At least it wasn't a long ride. Emily's legs were hurting from squeezing the bike so hard from fear. Lee helped remove her helmet and moved hair from her face, which initiated kissing again. They somehow managed to make it to his apartment on the second floor without any mishaps while they continued kissing. Once inside, Emily noticed it was very clean for a bachelor's place. Lee had her in his arms and across the floor to his room within moments. And then, history repeated itself.

"I missed you," Emily said after. She was reliving what had just happened and feeling giddy and in love with him all over again.

"I miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day," he answered. They were on their sides, looking at each other.

"Was this a bad idea?" she asked. She had to know.

"Maybe, but I don't think so."

"It didn't change anything..."

"Em, let's just look at it as a weekend together," he stopped her. "Don't think about it any further than that."

"Okay," she agreed. It was their weekend. She could live with that. It had been her decision after all.

...

How Barney had convinced Lee to bring Emily over to Tool's for dinner was beyond him. Lee felt that he did owe Emily a chance to meet his friends, his surrogate family. What unsettled him, though, was seeing her old eating habits back. He kept his thoughts to himself because he knew he only had this weekend with her, and tonight was their last night together before she left. He didn't want to spend it fighting.

"Fashion, eh?" Gunner commented.

Lee tensed. He had to give them all credit, though. They acted like perfect gentlemen around Emily. Barney had made sure of it. The threat of getting stabbed by Lee if they didn't also helped.

"I get the feeling you're not too much into it," Emily replied, looking at Gunner. He blushed.

"No ma'am," he shook his head. "If it has three holes in it for my head and arms, it's good enough for me."

"Oye," Emily winced. Lee chuckled.

"You'd wear a potato sack and call it good," Toll snorted.

"Paper bag," Caesar chimed in.

"Bubble wrap shirt," Yin sniggered.

"All right," Lee cut in, stopping the conversation before it got carried away.

"Aw, spoil our fun," Toll commented. Emily was smiling at Lee, oblivious to the men around her. It was nice to see him in his own element. She felt better knowing his team more. She felt as though he'd be safer now that she knew who they were and how they behaved. He reached to squeeze her hand under the table, but Barney saw.

"You're nuts," he mouthed to Lee when Emily wasn't looking. Lee knew that Barney was referring to him being nuts for giving Emily up, and he knew he was, but he didn't want to pressure Emily. If she needed time to come around, then he'd gladly wait for her.

...

Sunday night came too soon for both of them. Lee stood at the airport feeling the rock in his stomach as she waited for her flight to be called.

"I feel like I'm never going to see you again or something," she said.

"Well, we both know that is a high possibility," Lee replied. Emily hated thinking that he was right.

"Do you regret this?" she asked.

"No," he shook his head. "Do you?"

"I regret that I didn't do it sooner," she answered. He pulled her in for another kiss. He never wanted to let her go, but he'd rather have this goodbye than the last one they had.

The call for her flight came, and they looked at each other.

"Be safe," she said, not knowing what else to say.

"You too," he responded. Emily felt the tears coming, but she swallowed them down. She had made this decision to come here. She would not regret it or show how sad it made her to leave. He reluctantly released her hand, and she walked towards the terminal. Before she rounded the corner and disappeared from sight, she looked back. Even from there she could see that his eyes were a bit wet. She used all her strength to move forward instead of racing back to him.

...

Eric looked up when Emily came into their apartment. She knew that he already knew where she had really been.

"How was your girl's weekend?" he asked, playing along.

"Good," she answered.

"Was it worth it?"

She paused. Had it been? She thought of Lee's face again. Maybe they had just caused more hurt for each other.

"I think so," she answered. She looked at her brother. Eric didn't bring up that Serena had stopped by looking for Emily or that Lee had accidentally pocket dialed him while he was out with Emily. He didn't want to make her have to explain herself. He knew that if he was in their position, he'd have probably done the same thing.

"All right," he nodded. Emily was grateful he didn't let on he knew. Some things were just better left unsaid.

...

"How are you holding up?" Barney asked Lee as they sat alone at Tool's place once Emily was gone. Lee felt empty.

"I'm all right."

"You guys are crazy to stay apart, you know that right?"

"Maybe, but for now it is what it is."

"I don't get it," Barney admitted. "She's beautiful and into you for whatever reason, and you're letting her go."

"I don't expect you to understand."

"I don't think anyone understands."

Lee didn't respond. He knew he was being stupid, but he didn't want to push things with Emily if she didn't want to be in a relationship. If this was their last weekend together, he'd take it. Whatever came their way down the road, he'd be ready. However, he had a strong feeling he'd be seeing her again.


	16. Chapter 16

**WoodenOwl31: I'm glad you enjoyed the last chapter :)I apologize for any emotional distress lol.  
**

* * *

The weeks went by again, and Emily did her best to not think about Lee or her father or anything that made her sad. It was the end of summer now, and on one particular evening, Miranda gave Andrea permission to deliver the Book.

"I've done something right," Andy said, excited. "She even called me Andrea!"

"Are you done?" Emily asked.

"Yes."

"All right. So the deal with the Book is this," Emily started, and she went through the entire process from start to finish, making sure Andy knew how important it was that she doesn't speak to anyone.

"I can do this," Andy said when she was finished.

"You better," Emily warned. When she left to go home, she looked back to see Andy sitting at her desk waiting for the Book to be ready to be delivered. Something told her that things were going to go wrong, but she ignored her gut and went home anyway. When she opened the apartment door and found Shadow standing there waiting, she didn't immediately tell the dog to go away. She had figured out that Shadow was missing Lee, that he was depressed. Just like she was.

_One day you'll love that dog as much as I do._

Emily swallowed, remembering his words to her. For the first time ever, she bent to intentionally pet Shadow's head.

"I miss him too," she whispered. She didn't flinch when Shadow licked her hand. Then she stopped, ignored the hunger in her stomach, and went to her room to sleep.

...

"I can push you out," Barney commented. Lee turned to look at him.

"What?"

"We're flying over New York. I can just shove you out the door, and you can go find her."

"Stop it."

Barney gave his friend a meaningful look, but Lee ignored him. He wasn't giving up his job. He couldn't. He owed his parents. His life was spared, so he figured saving others' lives would somehow give him redemption for failing his parents.

"This mission is gonna be a bit longer than the others," Barney commented.

"Why?"

"There's someone we have to flush out first before we can get him. It's gonna take some undercover work. We've been looking for this guy for a while now. Tip came in where he might be. You're gonna draw him out by getting into his circles."

"Fine."

Lee had nothing waiting for him at home anyway. Maybe it was for the best he wasn't with Emily anymore. He wouldn't have to miss her the whole time he was gone. The thing was, though, that he missed her anyway.

...

Emily watched Andy come out of Miranda's office the next morning looking as though she had been emotionally and psychologically murdered. Emily could only imagine what Miranda did to her after seeing Andy watching her in her house with her husband the night before. Andy had told Emily of course, but not before the gossip ring had, and Emily had responded by asking Andy why she didn't just climb right into bed with the woman and demand a bedtime story. Honestly, what was wrong with her?! You drop the Book off and leave. Simple. Emily had then ripped into her about endangering the Paris trip. If Emily lost that trip on top of everything else, she would lose her mind. It was all that was keeping her going since Lee.

"I have to get a steak," Andy started. "And a manuscript for an unpublished book."

"And?" Emily asked, bored. This office drama was starting to get old.

"It's impossible."

"Steak is not impossible."

"The manuscript! That's what is impossible. I know the steak isn't," Andy said a bit snappish. She looked at her watch. "Oh, wait, Smith & Wollensky's doesn't open until 11:30. That means the steak is impossible after all."

Emily did her best to ignore the imminent volcano of tears, but she was surprised when none came. She looked at Andy then, thinking that maybe there was more to her than originally thought.

"Okay, I'm going. Wish me luck!" Andy called as she ran off.

"Couldn't if I wanted to," Emily retorted. She had a feeling Paris was going to get cancelled for her by lunchtime, and it greatly pissed her off.

...

"Who's the target?" Lee asked. Barney was looking through the binoculars.

"Jimmy DeMarko."

"What's his story?"

"Arms dealer. He supplies to gangs in the U.S.," Barney answered. "Among others."

"Why the undercover?"

"We need him to sell to us so we know where he hides his product."

"Right."

Lee fiddled with his knife in it's holster. Barney lowered the binoculars.

"How do you feel about the name Ernie Powers?"

"I hate it."

"You're welcome," Barney said, handing Lee his new I.D. to look at. Lee sighed. He didn't like doing undercover work so much. Unfortunately for him, he was the better candidate to do it. He went over his new identity and what he was supposed to do. He did his best to keep Emily out of his mind as much as possible.

...

Emily had just finished talking to Serena about Lee. They talked about him every day. Serena did her best to convince Emily she was making a mistake, but Emily refused to change her mind. After all, Serena didn't know what Lee did for work. She also hadn't told her friend about her weekend visit to Lee either. She knew it would only make Serena try to convince her harder to do something that she really did want to do in her heart of hearts. She just kept denying it for some reason.

"Is she here? Am I fired?!" Andy shrieked as she skidded into the office. Emily jumped to her feet, alarmed.

"I don't normally say this to people who work here," she started. "But you really need to stop and breathe for a minute."

She watched Andy rush in with the steak and set it up on Miranda's desk. Emily had a feeling of what was going to come, but she kept her mouth shut. Having Miranda's attention on Andy was helpful for her right now since she was barely keeping up with her own duties thanks to constantly thinking about Lee. Miranda stormed into her office then. Within moments, Miranda walked back out, giving Emily a look that said wonders. It said that if Andy failed to get the Harry Potter book, then Emily could expect to be demoted. Emily felt a bit afraid then. All her hard work would be for nothing. When Miranda was gone, Emily looked to see Andy defeated in the doorway of Miranda's office.

"You better get going," Emily said. Andy said nothing as she walked past her and out of the office.

...

Two weeks passed. Lee inserted himself into Demarko's circles, and he was going to be making an appearance at an event DeMarko was throwing. For some reason, it made him think of Emily's work party on New Year's. He stared at himself in his suit and tie in the mirror and ached with missing her. He hid his weapons on him and straightened his jacket. Barney was impressed with the progress Lee had already made with DeMarko, and he couldn't let him down. He went down to the street and hailed a cab. He couldn't stop thinking about what Emily was doing right in that moment. He hadn't spoken with Eric since he'd gone undercover. He missed hearing the updates. He hoped she was all right. As he rode in the cab, he kept thinking of their weekend together. He wondered if she thought about it still too.

...

"Oh my God," Emily moaned. She was lying on the couch surrounded by tissues.

"Just call in sick," Eric urged.

"I can't."

"Em, you're hacking and spewing phlegm all over the place. You gotta stay home."

"You don't miss work for Miranda."

"That's ridiculous. Em, call in sick."

"No," she said, struggling to get up. "I have to go. I'll take it easy, I promise."

"Yea right," Eric scoffed. He knew she was lying. She'd work just as hard and get sicker. He bit his tongue, though to avoid pissing her off any further. Emily went to work and suffered through the day. She was dreading the benefit that night. She hadn't told Eric about it because she had been sure he'd lock her in the apartment to prevent her from going.

"Is your cold any better?" Andy asked. Emily looked at her.

"No."

"Are you sure you can't go home?"

"Are you kidding? It's the benefit tonight, which I've been looking forward to for months by the way. I refuse to be sick. I'm going." It was true. She had been looking forward to it for months, but today she was dreading it. She didn't have the energy to go.

"Well, I hope you'll get through it."

"Don't forget drop off Miranda's Fendi bag. You can go home after that," Emily said, ignoring Andy's last comment.

"That's great," Andy smiled. "It's Nate's birthday tonight, and I'm gonna go to the bakery..."

"Uh huh, yea, I'm hearing a whole lot of this," Emily said, pinching her fingers together repeatedly, "when what I really want to hear is this." She pressed her fingers together to indicate no more talking. Her headache was getting bigger, and she didn't want to think of Andy doing something nice for her boyfriend when Emily no longer had a boyfriend to do something nice for. Lee was right. This job was making her mean. She didn't care anymore since he wasn't there to see it.

"Bye then," Andy said, leaving.

"I love this job. Girls kill for this job. I love it, I love it, I love it," Emily said to herself. She was feeling more and more that just maybe she didn't. Miranda came into the office after Andy had left and looked at Emily.

"What is wrong with you?" she asked.

"Just a cold," Emily answered, trying to disguise it as best as she could. Miranda gave her a disgusted look.

"You think you're going to be sufficient tonight, do you?" she asked.

"Yes," Emily replied quickly. What was Miranda implying?

"I think not," Miranda said. "Call Andrea. Now."

She went into her office, and Emily growled to herself as she called Andy. Having Miranda not trust her was bad.

"Hello?" Andy said, surprised.

"Get back here. Now," Emily ordered. She tapped her foot impatiently until Andy came through the door again.

"What?"

"Come on," Emily said, going into Miranda's office.

"You both need to be prepped for the guest list before the benefit starts," Miranda said.

"I thought only the first assistant went to the benefit," Andy started.

"Only when the first assistant hasn't decided to become a host of the black plague," Miranda cut her off, giving Emily a look. Emily stood as tall as she could to help her not feel so cut down to the core.

"You'll assist Emily. That's all."

They both left her office, and Andy began to instantly panic. Emily pulled out the binders and dropped them on Andy's desk.

"You better get started," she said.

"Both of them?" Andy asked, startled. "All these people? By tonight?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, did you think the benefit was only a gathering of five people? Yes, all of those people," Emily snapped. She was already dreading the evening. Andy was going to screw it up so bad she just knew it. Emily would be lucky to see Paris after tonight.

...

Emily had managed to escape the apartment without her brother noticing. She knew he'd never let her leave the house as ill as she was. She had on the dress she'd worn when Lee first kissed her along with the necklace he'd given her to match it because she needed to feel him with her tonight. She waited for Andy outside the building, and she was actually surprised to see Andy looking decent in her dress.

"You actually look chic," Emily said, giving her a compliment. She was feeling a bit unlike her usual bitter self on the cold medication.

"Thanks, Em. You look really great yourself. Have you lost weight?" Andy noted. Emily swelled with pride. She had been working hard. Ever since Lee had left, she gave up on eating.

"Thank you! I have this new diet I'm following for the Paris trip. I don't eat anything unless I feel I'm going to pass out, then I have some cheese," Emily explained. She noticed Andy's concerned expression but dismissed it. The only person who was allowed to worry about her weight and eating was Lee, and he was no longer there to notice.

"It seems to be working," Andy said.

"Well, I just need one more tiny stomach flu to help me reach my goal weight," Emily told her. In all honesty, it wasn't the flu that was doing it for her, but she wasn't about to tell Andy that. Emily had only done it twice really. She didn't have a problem. She didn't. She was fine. Oh God, her head was about to explode. Her headache hadn't left her yet. The evening only got worse as Emily followed Miranda through the crowds. Then disaster struck when Emily couldn't remember a man's name. Andy saved the day, but Emily knew she was going to pay. She just knew it. Her heart sank as Miranda gave her a look, one that Emily could decipher to mean she was going to get some kind of punishment. She wanted to cry. She wanted Lee. God, everything was such a mess.

...

Everything had been going well until it didn't. Lee was drinking his beer and socializing with the other bad guys when he was grabbed. He was far outnumbered, and he failed to escape. He was being held onto by six men when DeMarko walked towards him.

"Did you really think I wouldn't figure it out?" he asked.

"I don't know what..." Lee started, but Demarko punched him in the face before he finished.

"Remove him," DeMarko ordered. "I know Barney Ross is behind this, and I will not rest until I find him."

* * *

**Duh, duh, duhhhhh. Stay tuned!**


	17. Chapter 17

**This chapter could be triggering due to a scene that could be deemed scary.**

* * *

Emily had screwed up again. This cold was causing her to not function at her highest level. She'd forgotten a simple task of picking up scarves the day before, and now she was running late for work. She would be incredibly lucky to not be on Miranda's chopping block when she got back. The only good thing was her cold seemed to be on the mend. Perhaps all the cold and sinus medication she was downing was finally working. Her phone started to ring as she hurried down the sidewalk with all the bags in her hand. Andy, of course. She answered.

"What?! I know I'm late..."

"Emily, there's something I need to tell you..."

"I forgot the bloody scarves," Emily went on, not hearing her. "I was supposed to get them yesterday. I'll be there as soon as I can."

"I really need to..."

"This crowd is ridiculous," Emily was saying, more to herself than Andy. She pressed on.

...

Lee awoke strapped to a chair. Disoriented at first, he squinted up at the bright light that was hanging over his head. When his vision cleared, he noticed a laptop on the table in front of him and DeMarko standing in front of that.

"Good morning, sunshine," he said. Lee didn't respond. "I have had enough of you and your so called team harassing me. I knew right away who you were when you suddenly arrived into my circles. Don't look so surprised. Tell me where Barney is right now, and it all ends well for you."

"But not for him," Lee clarified.

"Well, that's my goal," DeMarko shrugged.

"I won't talk," Lee said firmly.

"I know. That's why I brought some incentive."

Lee felt nervous suddenly as DeMarko turned on the laptop screen. It was a live video feed of something. Lee peered at it. It seemed like a moving car, but he wasn't sure.

"Do you know where Emily Charlton is right now?" DeMarko asked. Lee's heart clenched. This couldn't be happening.

"I don't. We broke up months ago," he answered.

"It's too bad you couldn't make it work, but I know you still care about her right? I mean, who really ever gets over their ex?" DeMarko went on. He'd done his homework on Lee Christmas.

"Don't touch her," Lee warned.

"Or what? You gonna beat me up? Go ahead and try," DeMarko chuckled. "But no, I'm not going to do anything. My friend is. Watch." Lee was horrified to see Emily walking on the sidewalk carrying bags and talking on the phone.

"It's all in the timing, you see," DeMarko said. "That is the key factor in what we do to her next."

"She's not even with me anymore. She is not involved in this," Lee said, getting anxious. He worked to keep his tone level, though.

"But she will make you talk. That's the thing about having loved ones...they get used against you. It's why I have no one," DeMarko finished.

"It wouldn't matter if I told you. You'd still hurt her."

"Not as dumb as he looks, folks," DeMarko laughed. "But seriously, if you tell me, she gets to walk. I will also tell you who killed your parents."

Lee froze at this, unable to process the words DeMarko had just uttered. His parents had died in a tragic accident. They were not murdered. He looked at DeMarko.

"Ah, I see I have hit the spot. I guess I didn't really need to bother with her at all," DeMarko smirked.

"My parents died in an accident," Lee insisted.

"Did they, though?" DeMarko asked, tilting his head. "Did they really? Are you 100 percent sure about that?"

Lee felt he was being tricked, that it was all made up. Then again, what if it was the truth?

"You don't know your father, but he was like me and did some arms dealing back in the day. He tried to leave the bad life behind, but it caught up to him. Fortunately for you, you got to live. Now I see you spend your time as someone who is expendable. It's kind of ironic, isn't it? You work hard to take down people who were just like your old man."

"Shut up," Lee snarled. His mind was racing. His father had been a bad person? He tried to think, but his memories were not there. He wouldn't have understood at that young age anyway.

"Tick tock, Mr. Lee," DeMarko said, tapping his watch. "Barney. Where is he?"

"He'll find you first."

"All right. I guess I have to prove that I'm serious," DeMarko sighed. He brought the table and laptop closer to Lee as he spoke into his phone. Lee strained but couldn't get free. He couldn't keep his eyes off of Emily. She was clearly distracted on her phone. He hated that her work made her so distracted. _Pay attention!_ he wanted to scream at her.

"This is gonna be good," DeMarko said, standing beside Lee, who turned his head to not watch. "Oh, no. You have to see this." DeMarko forced Lee's head back and held it still, aimed at the screen.

"I don't know where Barney is," Lee said. "I swear. Just...leave her alone."

"Too late."

The camera, which he now knew was inside a car, lurched forward as Emily stepped onto the road. He resisted screaming as the car slammed into her and sent her flying, but he felt like he was dying inside.

"Oh, and it will look like an accident too," Demarko tutted. "She was super distracted and didn't pay attention to the cars. Too bad."

"You son of a bitch," Lee snarled, fighting to get loose.

"All right. Well, we're done here I guess. So long, Mr. Lee," DeMarko said, walking out of the room. Lee counted to ten before getting onto his toes and inching his way to the wall. He repeatedly smashed the chair against it, feeling lucky that it was a wooden chair. After eleven hits, he was free, and he unraveled the ropes around his wrists and ankles. He went to the door, looking for a way to open it. It seemed to need a code. The laptop was still on the table, but it was disconnected now. He could still hear the screams of bystanders and the noise of Emily hitting the windshield in his mind. He was angry and scared and devastated. He had no idea if she was alive or dead. He'd failed to protect her. He wasn't even dating her and they still went after her. He didn't know what to do. He paced like a caged animal. He didn't know how long he was left in the room until the door clicked and opened. Lee grabbed a broken piece of the chair as a weapon and held it in front of him. He evened his breathing, prepared to fight his way out.

"Lee?" Barney's voice called. Lee lowered his arm and stepped into the light. "You all right?"

"They got her," Lee said, his voice hoarse.

"What? Who?"

"Emily. They...they may have just killed her because I wouldn't tell them how to find you."

Barney looked at the laptop, suddenly understanding what had happened in here, that they had made Lee watch.

"Well, I found them," he said. "I took care of DeMarko. He won't be bothering me or you anymore. We found his product. Wouldn't you know it, he keeps it close to him in his mansion."

"Shit, no!" Lee shouted, slamming his fist onto the table.

"What? What's wrong? He's dead...isn't that a good thing?" Barney asked, confused.

"He told me he knew who killed my parents."

"But...didn't they die in an accident?"

"He claims it wasn't. He says my father was an arms dealer...that...that he got killed..." Lee broke off. He was beginning to feel emotional. It was all too much, just too much. He saw Emily flying in his mind, and he choked a sob.

"Come on," Barney said, putting his arm around him and moving him to the door. "We'll check on Emily. Maybe it was a fake video."

"It wasn't," Lee shook his head. "It was real time. I saw it."

"Okay, well, maybe she didn't die. Maybe she's at the hospital."

"DeMarko's friend will get her. He's still there."

"We will find him. I've got photos of all DeMarko's men on file. He won't get far. He might even go into hiding."

"I gotta get home," Lee said, rushing down the halls with Barney on his heels. He didn't even register all the dead bodies on his way. He just had to get to Emily. He had to know if she was all right. He had to save her from the man who had just tried to kill her because he knew it wasn't over if Emily was still alive.

...

Emily opened her eyes in the hospital to find Eric sitting beside her.

"Hello," she said.

"Geez, Em, you scared me," Eric said, leaning in to see her fully.

"I'm all right."

"What were you doing that you couldn't see the car coming?" he asked.

"I was working. Andy was on the phone, and I just...I just didn't see it," she answered, sniffing.

"You're lucky to be alive," Eric said. "Mum was hysterical."

"You called her?!"

"I had to. I promised to call with serious events, and this is a serious event."

"What did she say?"

"She's coming to New York."

"She...she what?" Emily asked, stunned. Her mother never left England.

"She wants to make sure herself that you're okay. She doesn't seem to believe me," Eric sighed. Emily felt frustrated inside. She didn't want her mother. She wanted someone else. She wanted Lee. Eric reached to smooth her hair back.

"Rest up, okay?"

"Okay."

"I'm just gonna run out for something to eat." He was also going to try Lee again. He'd been calling him ever since he had been told about the accident, but Lee was not answering his phone.

"Okay," she nodded.

He patted her arm comfortingly before getting up and leaving. It wasn't too long after that when Andy arrived.

"My God, Emily, are you okay?" she asked.

"Clearly I've been better," Emily retorted. Andy leaned against the wall below the window, crossing her arms and looking at her. Emily found herself annoyed with her. She was annoyed with the entirety of her situation. Her leg was in a cast, and she would be that way for however long. She would not let it affect work. She couldn't afford to be off work.

"So what is it that you were so desperate to tell me?" Emily asked, remembering.

"Oh. Um...it's about...it's about Paris," Andy said hesitantly. Emily froze.

"What about it?" she asked carefully.

"Miranda wants me to go," Andy spilled.

"Excuse me?"

"She...she said she would fire me if I didn't say yes!"

"I don't care if she fired you or filleted you alive with a sharp knife! You should have said no!" Emily cried, feeling desolate inside. Must everything in her life be taken away from her?

"I'm so sorry..." Andy tried.

"No," Emily said, holding up her hand. A hospital worker came then with a tray of food, and Emily looked at him as he set it in front of her. She gave the tiniest of smiles before he left. Then she heaved a sigh. There was no point in not eating now was there? She actually found herself feeling hungry. Perhaps the bang on her head from the accident did something to her. They told her she was lucky she didn't have a concussion or worse. She grabbed the pudding and ripped the top off, digging the spoon into it. Lee would be so proud of her. Oh, God. Lee. Then she remembered Andy was still standing there.

"You know what burns my ass?" she asked. "Is that you were not interested in fashion at all. You wanted to be a journalist, and now you're going to Paris!"

"Emily..."

"And the clothes you're gonna get," Emily went on, feeling crushed inside. "Oh God. You don't deserve them. You drown yourself in carbs every single day for crying out loud! It's bollocks!"

"Emily," Andy tried again.

"Get out," Emily ordered. She shoved more pudding into her mouth.

"I'm really sorry."

"I said out!" Emily snapped. Andy bowed her head before walking out of the hospital room. Emily waited for her to be gone before she pinched her nose to stop from crying. All her hard work, and it was for nothing. Absolutely nothing.

"What's wrong?" Eric asked, returning. He had a sandwich in his hand from the hospital cafeteria.

"I'm not going to Paris," she sniffed.

"Well, I should say not. Look at you," Eric said, gesturing. "You just got hit by a car. You broke your leg. I don't think a doctor is gonna let you go anywhere anyw- hang on." He stopped his speech when he noticed she was holding a pudding in her hands. "Are you eating that? Or am I hallucinating?"

"Yes, I'm eating it," she snapped.

"That...that's fantastic," Eric said.

"Relax. It's a pudding not an entire platter of bread or something," she said, but she smiled a little. He reached to squeeze her arm lightly before sitting down beside her.

"Mum's on her flight. She'll be here early tomorrow morning."

"Fabulous," Emily sighed, finishing her pudding and reaching for the bread. Eric just smiled and didn't say anything. Seeing his sister eat again made him feel so relieved. He didn't mention that he had called Lee. He didn't want her to be disappointed if he didn't show. He was just glad she was okay.

...

Ten messages from Eric. Lee listened to them all, hearing the frantic sounds of Eric's voice in the first message to the ones later sounding a bit more calm and telling him that Emily was okay but "banged up" and to get his ass there soon to see her.

"Well?" Barney asked when Lee lowered his phone. He was wincing from the pain in his ribs, but he felt relieved.

"She's okay."

"Thank God for that."

"I gotta get there."

"I'm working on it. We've got a ways to go yet," Barney said. "This plane can only go so fast, you know."

"I know."

"She's okay, Lee. That should help you relax."

But it didn't. Lee still worried that something was going to happen to her since they hadn't found DeMarko's associate yet. He had studied the man's photo so he'd recognize him when he saw him. He was also thinking about his parents and what DeMarko had said. Now he'd never know. It made him feel so much worse about it all.

"Stop, Lee. Cool your brain off," Barney ordered. "I can see it going overtime right now."

Lee didn't answer. He rested his head on the window, looking straight ahead. He just wanted to get to New York.

...

It was late, almost four a.m., but Emily couldn't sleep. She was still upset from Andy telling her that she was going to Paris. Emily was still pissed that she had worked so hard, and Miranda dismissed her so easily. Also, she missed Lee so badly it hurt. She wondered where he was in that moment and if he was thinking of her. She was sitting in the lamplight thinking when a voice interrupted her thoughts.

"Em?"

She turned to face the doorway, confused. Had she conjured him there by just thinking about him? Or had she truly lost her mind?

"Lee?"

"Hey," he said, coming in and standing beside her. He took in the sight of her, the small bandage over her left eye, the large bruise on her right cheek, and the cast on her lower right leg. He hated seeing her hurt. He hated that he saw her get hurt. He was still full of rage from that.

"What are you doing here?" she asked. She noticed he looked a bit beat up, but she didn't comment on it.

"Eric called."

"And you came, just like that?" she said, surprised.

"Of course I came," he answered. "Em, I still care about you. I told you I always would."

She felt herself tearing up at this, but she swallowed it down.

"You're okay?" he asked. "They've said you're okay?"

"Yes. Apparently I could have broken my leg much worse, but it's bad enough to be in a cast for a bit. I think it's a bit dramatic and unnecessary but whatever. It doesn't even really hurt."

"Good. No strange visitors?"

"What? No."

"Good."

"Lee, what is going on?"

"Nothing. I'm just glad you're okay," he said, standing beside her and taking her hand in his. It felt so light. His touch stirred up her emotions again.

"I missed you," she managed to say.

"God, Em, I've missed you every day since I last saw you," he said, squeezing her hand. She held onto it hard back. He felt scared to see how thin she was. Eric hadn't been kidding. She really wasn't eating.

"I'm not going to Paris," she said. "Andy is."

"What?" Lee asked. "After all that?" Eric had told him about the upcoming trip and Emily's cheese diet.

"After all that," she confirmed. She knew Eric had told him.

"And how did this happen?" he asked, gesturing. It was best not to let on that he'd seen how it happened. He didn't want to scare her. She swallowed slowly.

"I was working. I...I didn't see the car..."

"Oh, Em," Lee said, exhaling hard. It didn't help that the driver was intentionally trying to hit her.

"But...I'm eating again," she told him.

"You are?"

"Yes."

Lee didn't know what to say, so he just squeezed her hand.

"Lee," she said.

"Yea?"

"I don't want to do this anymore."

"Do what?" he asked. He felt a bit nervous. What was she going to say next?

"Be without you," she answered.

"What are you saying, Em?"

"Please come home," she whispered. "I...I tried to work up the nerve to call you at least a thousand times after I saw you last, but I didn't know what to say, so I didn't."

"You could have said anything," he assured her. "I thought about calling you, but I didn't want you to worry about me."

"I'm sorry," she said. "I really am. This whole thing was stupid. It doesn't seem to matter if you're here or not, I still worry about you doing your job, so you might as well just be here. I really would like to try again, if you're willing. I really want to make this work. Please, Lee, come home."

Lee took her all in again, and he knew he would not say no. That and Emily was right. It didn't matter if they were together or apart as DeMarko just proved. She could be in danger again in the future, and he wanted to be one step ahead this time.

"Okay," he agreed. "If you want me to come home, I'll come home."

She nodded, still crying. He carefully got into the hospital bed beside her and held her close.

"And it wasn't all you," Lee said after a bit. "I should have insisted we figure it out instead of letting you walk away."

"Let's just forget it," she said. "We both made mistakes, but it doesn't change what happened."

"I know. I just...I regret it."

"Me too."

Lee felt her heart beating in his arms, and he felt himself relax a little. She was safe. He would keep her safe.

"I like being reminded of Dad," Emily whispered, remembering he'd mentioned that in the past. "Contrary to what you think."

"I know."

Emily finally felt tired. She closed her eyes, loving the feel of him next to her again. She loved him. She'd been hanging on to those words ever since she had seen him last but had been too afraid to say them out loud. Now seemed like the right time to finally release them.

"I love you," she said through her grogginess. Lee kissed the side of her head gently.

"I love you too."

Smiling, she fell asleep.

...

"Ahem," a voice said, making Emily open her eyes. It was bright outside, which indicated it was daytime. She looked at the female nurse standing in front of her with crossed arms. She felt Lee stir behind her.

"Hi," Emily said sweetly.

"Sir, you need to get out of the bed right now," the nurse ordered.

"Sorry," Lee said, carefully removing himself. He looked sheepish.

"Do not let me catch you doing that again," the nurse warned. She raised a brow at the state of his face but didn't ask questions.

"No ma'am," Lee shook his head. Emily worked hard to hide her laughter.

"And you, you think this is funny?" the nurse went on, pointing at Emily. "Do you realize the damage he could have done to you?"

"I'm sorry," she said, her voice catching.

"Mmhmmm." The nurse glared at her before going over her chart. Emily purposely did not look at Lee because she knew his face would make her start to laugh again.

"Breakfast in five," the nurse said after confirming Emily was stable.

"Thank you," Emily nodded. Once the nurse was gone, she started to snicker. Lee wasn't too long joining her.

"You just got told by Nurse Gina," Emily giggled.

"I did," he agreed.

"I hope they send me home soon," she sighed, calming down now. "I really do feel fine." A different nurse came in with food, and Emily's stomach growled.

"Oohh hospital food," Lee said, peeking at it. "So bland."

"Well, I imagine if you brought in that pizza you love so much they'd chase you out with sticks," she teased. Lee smiled at her, glad to see her eating.

"Who does jello in the morning?" she asked. "I mean, really."

"Clearly you do," Lee commented as she dug into it.

"I eat what is in front of me," she replied. "I don't have a choice."

"Darling!" Rosemary called, coming into the room suddenly. Lee snapped his head up to look at her. She looked exhausted from her flight.

"Hi, Mum," Emily said.

"Oh! You're eating!"

"Why is that the common theme from all of you?" Emily asked.

"It's just nice to see is all," Rosemary dismissed. "Eric said you were fading away."

"Well, Eric's a liar," Emily retorted. Rosemary went in to hug her then, and Emily felt a fondness for her mother in that moment. She cared enough to come all this way.

"I'm just gonna nip out and get something to eat and some coffee," Lee said.

"Hello, Lee," Rosemary said, hugging him next. She had heard about the break up from Eric, but she kept quiet about it since she knew how touchy Emily could get. She also hadn't wanted Emily to know her brother ratted her out. Now, though, she figured she could bring it up since it seemed Lee was back in the picture from the way the two of them were looking at each other.

"You're well?" Lee asked. He was grateful she didn't ask about his facial wounds.

"Oh, yes. Now go eat. I've got this shift covered."

"See you later," Lee said to Emily. He touched her arm lightly before leaving.

"Spill," Rosemary said once he was gone.

"About what?" Emily asked.

"Lee! Are you two back together as an item?"

"Mum!"

...

Emily was discharged later that day after they determined there was no internal bleeding or head trauma. They gave her crutches, which she hated.

"Crutches don't go with anything," she complained. Lee snorted.

"They go with your cast," he pointed out. She clipped him in the leg with her crutch fondly, making him laugh. Rosemary was back at the apartment cooking dinner. Lee had offered to bring her home. Eric had let him use the car while he took Shadow out for a walk.

"Ugh," Emily said, looking at it. "This is going to be difficult." The process of getting into the car was daunting.

"Not on my watch," Lee replied. In one effective swoop, he had her in his arms.

"Oh!" she cried, startled. He was deceptively strong, but then again, she wasn't very heavy. He set her inside and got her comfortable.

"You're lovely," she said, kissing him.

"I try," he smiled. She reluctantly released him and let him put her crutches in the back and get into the driver's seat. She examined him as they drove.

"So what happened?" she asked. He turned to look at her.

"With what?"

"You have a black eye, Lee," she pointed out. "Among other cuts, bruises, and things."

"Right."

"What happened?"

"My cover got blown. They didn't like me too much after that."

"Did Barney rescue you?" Emily asked.

"Yea," Lee answered. He gripped the wheel tightly in his hands. He couldn't tell her what DeMarko had done or that the person responsible for hitting her with the car was still out there.

"When do you have to go back to work?"

"Not for a bit."

"That's good."

"You better not be going back to work yet," Lee said, feeling as though that was her plan.

"I can't take time off," Emily argued on cue.

"Em, your leg is in a cast..."

"I can still sit at a desk," she insisted. "I told you it doesn't really hurt that much." Lee stopped himself from arguing with her further. If she felt she was able, then who was he to judge? He'd gone to work with worse injuries. He just worried about her. They got to the apartment, and he helped her out of the car. Rosemary greeted them at the apartment door when they got there.

"Lee, what happened?" she asked, finally noticing his face. She frowned. How had she missed that earlier?

"Just an accident at work," he replied. It was the truth at least.

"Maybe it's time to consider a different job?" she suggested.

"Maybe," he answered.

"Dinner is almost ready," Rosemary said, carrying on. "Eric is staying home tonight from work. It's going to be a nice little family meal."

"Thanks, Mum," Emily smiled. Lee got her set up on the couch before offering Rosemary help with dinner. She watched him laugh with her mother, and she watched Shadow go crazy at the sight of him when Eric brought him home from their walk. Emily felt at peace, and she never wanted to lose that feeling again.

...

Eric had given up his room for Rosemary to sleep in. He was on the couch, tossing and turning. Emily was lying in her bed and feeling cold. After a while, Lee crept in and tucked in behind her, his arm around her waist. They slept that way all night. In the morning, Emily heard her mother and Eric go out for a walk, which Emily took to mean they were going to give Emily and Lee some alone time. Lee stirred behind her and cleared his throat. Emily had never wanted him more. She went to kiss him.

"You're in a cast, Em," Lee said, laughing a little as she pulled at his shirt after a bit. "I don't think it's a good idea."

"It has been far too long," she insisted. "I don't care what my leg is in. The rest of me is not broken. It's only my lower leg anyway, and I told you, it doesn't even hurt...there are pain killers in me doing a wonderful job. Just slide it out of the way. It'll be fine."

"Em..."

"Lee, just do it," she ordered.

"Oh, now I'm convinced," he teased, but he propped himself up and removed his shirt for her.

"Good," she said, pulling him down on top of her. He avoided her right leg as best as he could.

"There's a price attached," he said after kissing her.

"What's that?"

"You have to take a week off of work."

"You're the most infuriating man I've ever met," she said, annoyed.

"Thank you," he grinned. "So what's it gonna be?"

Emily knew that if she picked work over him again, it would start up problems. Also, Miranda and Andy had left for Paris, so she could afford to miss work because Miranda wasn't there to rip her a new one for not coming in.

"You're very lucky I can't have sex with my job," she said after a moment. He burst out laughing.

"Time off then?" he asked once he stopped.

"Fine," she sighed, but she also smiled. He resumed kissing her fiercely. He was very careful with her, though, to prevent any further injuries or hurt her leg. As he kissed her, he never felt more sure of anything that he had made the right decision in coming back home to her.


	18. Chapter 18

**A Week Later**

"You have big shoes to fill," Emily said to the new Andy as she began to hobble back to her desk. She was a bit excited that she was going to be getting the Paris clothes after all. Andy had just told her she could have them. It was a week later, as promised to Lee. Eric and Lee still thought her going back to work was too soon of course. She couldn't make them understand how important this job was, but she was beginning to have thoughts that perhaps they were right, it was just a job. She sat at her desk and stared at the computer monitor. At least her mother had gone back home. She couldn't bear having another person berate her for going to work with a broken leg.

"You doing okay?" James asked, suddenly appearing before her. She glared at him.

"I'm fine."

"Can I get you anything?"

"I said I'm fine," she snapped. He had tried to visit her as the hospital, but Eric had told him to get lost. She had never loved her brother more. She extremely disliked James more and more ever since the stunt he pulled. At least he'd backed off from trying to date her again. She'd heard a rumor he was going to leave _Runway_. She hoped so.

"Okay," James nodded, turning to leave. He bumped into Lee in the hallway.

"James," Lee said curtly.

"I see you won," James snarked.

"I told you, this isn't a game," Lee said calmly.

"Well, if I'm lucky, you'll lose yet."

"If I'm lucky, you'll get an injury, but I don't need luck for that."

James looked at Lee, wondering if he would actually do something to him. Lee stared calmly back.

"Are you threatening me?"

"Of course not."

"I could kick your ass. I'm a black belt," James sneered.

Lee couldn't help it. He smirked. It was enough for James, who lunged. Lee's hand shot out like lightening, hitting James in the throat hard and fast, and Lee's foot caught James's and twisted him around so that he fell onto his face on the floor, choking.

"You might wanna go to the hospital," Lee suggested. James couldn't speak, but he clambered to his feet and ran off without looking back. Lee continued on his way to Emily's office.

"Hey," Lee said, and she smiled upon seeing him standing in front of her.

"Hi," she replied. She had really missed him coming to see her at work. She could tell he was tense about something today, though, but she didn't know what. She didn't pry for answers, but she was getting a bit curious. He also hadn't gone to work with Barney since he moved back in.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Just a minute," she answered. She had been eating properly since she left the hospital, and Lee would have lunch with her downstairs when he came to see her.

"Where are you going?" Miranda asked, coming out and seeing Lee standing there with Emily preparing to leave her desk.

"I'm taking a lunch break," Emily answered. Miranda looked over her glasses at her, and Lee very much wanted to rip them off and crumple them with his bare hands. Could she not see that Emily was not supposed to even be at work?

"I see you didn't take my advice," Miranda went on, looking at Lee now. Emily went a bit pink in the face at this. Lee frowned. What was she talking about?

"Lee is not a distraction," Emily said firmly.

"Oh, I'm a distraction?" he asked, gesturing to himself. "Like her talking on her work phone isn't a distraction? It almost got her killed."

"There are the right kind of distractions and the wrong kind of distractions," Miranda said coolly.

"Lee, it's fine," Emily said before he could open his mouth to reply. It wouldn't have been nice. They didn't notice the other assistant get up and approach the man standing in the doorway, asking him if she could help him.

"If you're not going to take your career seriously," Miranda started. Lee clenched his fist and took a step towards her.

"Yes, I'm here to see Emily Charlton," the man told the other assistant.

"Right here," the assistant responded. Lee caught this last bit and turned to look at the man. His heart stopped because it was the man they were looking for, the one who had hit her with the car. The first thought he had was that even being with Emily, he couldn't keep her safe. Then he jumped into action.

"Get down!" he shouted, pulling out his gun from the back of his pants, but he wasn't fast enough. The man got a hold of Emily, making her drop her crutches, and pressed his gun against her temple.

"I'll do it! I swear to God!" he shouted. Emily shrieked. Lee had his gun aimed at the man steadily.

"You'd be a fool," he said. "You have no one left. DeMarko is dead. Your whole team is dead. Making this statement isn't going to do anything for you."

"It will take away everything you've ever loved," the man spat. "You'll finally have no one left. I should have killed you when I had the chance."

Lee froze at this. There was something in his memory that was coming back to him from the night his parents died. He had been standing on the street with the police and firemen, and he had caught sight of a face of someone who was watching the fire burn. Lee was realizing now that this face was the same one staring at him.

"You," he said.

"Me," the man agreed calmly.

"I am calling the police," Miranda said suddenly.

"Bad move, lady," the man snarled.

"Don't move," Lee ordered. Miranda stood there looking very pissed off. The other assistant was cowering and hiding under her desk. Emily was staring at Lee, frightened beyond her wits. Here was his scenario he'd described to her happening right now. She very much wanted Lee to kill this guy or at least get him off of her.

"You want to finish this, then I'm your target, not her," Lee said.

"Of course you're my target," the man laughed. "But she's going first. I want you to feel it before you die."

"Lee," Emily whimpered.

"It's all right, Em," Lee assured her. "Sometimes we don't see what's right in front of us until it's too late." He hoped she got his meaning as he slid his eyes down to her hand, the one that was hovering closest to the phone on the desk. Her eyes widened slightly, and he felt confident she got it.

"It's too late all right," the man laughed. Emily grabbed the phone and swung it backwards into the man's face. He yelled, and she yanked free just as Lee went to shoot. The man shot him first, but Lee still managed to fire back three shots to the man's chest.

"Lee!" Emily cried as Lee sank to the floor, his hand on his stomach.

"Call the police!" Miranda shrieked at the new assistant. "NOW!"

"Lee," Emily said, getting down awkwardly to the floor with Lee. Blood was pooling from underneath his shirt. She gripped at his hand. "Lee?"

"You'll be all right," he assured her. "You'll be all right."

"You're hurt," she told him.

"I know." It hurt a lot.

"Please don't die on me..."

"I can't make any promises."

He wished he could promise he'd be all right, but he couldn't. The edges of his vision were getting blurry.

"There is a dying man on my floor, Emily. Why is there a dying man on my floor? What is this? What is going on?!" Miranda was yelling.

"Shut up!" Emily shouted at her. "Just shut up! He's not dying!" She didn't even care what Miranda thought of her in that moment. Lee was fading away in her arms, and she couldn't bear it any longer. She was crying, pressing her face against his and begging him to stay with her.

"Don't go," she cried. "Don't go, don't go, don't go..."

...

"What happened?!" Eric exclaimed as he came flying into the hospital. He found Emily pacing on her crutches and crying, covered in blood. He swallowed hard. He knew it was Lee's.

"I don't know," Emily said through her tears. "One minute he's standing there and the next, some guy is shooting him."

"What?!"

"The man tried to kill me too," Emily went on. "Lee shot him, but...but the guy shot him back. Now he's in there..." She trailed off and stared down to where the operating room was.

"Who was the guy?" Eric demanded. He had a sinking feeling it had something to do with Lee's last mission. They had chatted about it, and Lee had been honest with him about what DeMarko had done to Emily. Eric had felt sick, but he promised not to tell her. Lee mentioned it wasn't over, and Eric figured this must be what he was talking about.

"I don't know," Emily answered. Eric went to hug her and console her. Before long, the doctor came out. Eric could immediately tell that it was going to be bad news delivered just by the man's walk.

"Emily?" the doctor asked.

"Yes?" she asked, wiping at her tears.

"I'm so sorry. We...we lost him..."

For a split second, there was no response. Then, she screamed. Eric felt it rip through him, and he started to tear up himself. He'd never heard Emily sound so raw and broken before.

"Em, I'm here," he said, hugging her again as she wailed. "I'm here. I'm here."

The rest was a blur.

...

Lee opened his eyes to find himself looking at Barney. Confused and disoriented, he looked around the room. He did not know where he was.

"Welcome back, sunshine," Barney commented.

"Where am I?" Lee asked.

"It's a long story," Barney replied.

"Where's Emily?"

"Ah, that...that's part of the long story," Barney said, wincing. Lee snapped his head to look at his friend.

"What did you do?" Lee demanded.

"I saved your girlfriend's life is what I did," Barney answered indignantly. Lee struggled to get up, but Barney put his hand on Lee's chest to keep him down.

"You took a serious shot. You gotta rest," he instructed.

"Like hell. Where is Em? I need to make sure she's all right."

"She's fine, Lee. Look, something happened."

"What? Tell me," Lee urged, feeling sick.

"This thing with Demarko's guy, it's not over."

"Of course it is. I killed the bastard."

"Actually, you didn't."

"Excuse me?"

Lee had shot him three times, he was sure of it. How was he not dead?

"He was wearing a vest. During the commotion, he fled."

"If he's still out there, then I need to be with Em. She's not safe," Lee insisted. Barney rubbed his face a little, unsure of how to begin.

"She is completely safe because you...you are dead."

There was complete silence in the room for a moment while Lee processed what the hell Barney just said.

"I'm what?" Lee asked in a tone that implied he was beyond furious.

"Dead."

"How did that happen? Why did that happen? Unless I am having one hell of a dream, I'm pretty sure I'm alive," Lee said angrily.

"You are," Barney nodded. "Alive, I mean."

"So help me understand why I'm dead."

"Because the guy who got away thinks you're dead, and if you're dead then he has no need to harm Emily."

Lee took in this information and stared at Barney.

"Does Emily...?" Lee started, but he couldn't finish. It hurt too much.

"You're dead," Barney confirmed. Lee pinched the bridge of his nose tightly. Emily thought he was dead. He could only imagine what she was thinking and feeling right now. He was torn between rage at what Barney had done and knowing what Barney had done was to save Emily.

"I'm sorry," Barney said. He looked a little sad himself. He didn't like seeing Lee hurt. Emily's screams were still in his mind too. He'd heard her down the hall out of sight as the doctor gave her the news. Barney had to admit that doctor had been a stellar actor.

"She will be so lost," Lee said.

"I wish there was another way, but this seemed the best solution to keep her safe," Barney reasoned. Lee nodded because he understood what Barney was doing, but it didn't help him feel any better. The pain inside his heart was greater than the pain from his bullet wound.

"So what now?" Lee asked.

"We find out who this guy is and take him down."

"And after that?"

Barney knew Lee was questioning whether or not he had to stay dead forever.

"That's your call."

Lee wondered if Emily would have moved on by then or if she would be furious that she had been lied to and never speak to him again. A part of him wanted to let her know he was okay, but then the bigger part of him wanted to keep her safe. It was better she didn't know. She wouldn't have to lie or get caught lying and killed for it.

"Then let's go to work," Lee said. He wanted this over as fast as possible.

"Rest up. Then we'll talk."

Barney got up to leave then, and he noticed his friend looked defeated. He hoped one day he'd see him smile again.

…

Emily didn't get out of bed for days after Lee died. She ignored her phone. She ignored her job. She ignored Eric. The only thing that brought her any kind of comfort was the dog, and that was only because Lee had loved Shadow and the dog couldn't talk and try to awkwardly make her feel better. Emily had Shadow curled beside her in bed, and she absently stroked the dog's ears, remembering all the times she had seen Lee do it. She fingered the chain of the St. Christopher's necklace Lee had always worn. They had given it to her at the hospital along with his other personal effects. She remembered Lee telling her his father had given him the necklace to keep him safe as a child. He had never taken it off, and now, neither would she.

"Em?" Eric's voice came from the other side of the door.

"Go away," she called back. He opened the door anyway.

"Em, you gotta eat something," he urged.

"I can't."

"I know it's hard, and you're broken inside..."

"Please just leave me alone."

"Em, he wouldn't want you to..."

"Just go, Eric!" Emily shouted, making Shadow whine. Her brother stood there for a moment looking defeated before giving in and leaving, shutting the door firmly behind him. Emily started to cry again. Nothing was ever going to be okay ever again.

...

Emily eventually went in to the office to tell Miranda she was taking a bit of a leave. Miranda was not impressed, but she didn't argue. Their office needed to be fixed up anyway after the shoot out, and Emily was in no state to be working.

"It's for the best," Miranda said after Emily was done talking.

"Excuse me?" Emily asked, shocked.

"He was no good for you."

"You are unbelievable," Emily said, getting angry. She clenched her fists.

"Emily, there are things you don't know about him that I do."

"I know what he does for a living. Did..." Emily trailed off, getting upset again. Her emotions were so all over the map.

"No, no. I'm not talking about that."

"What are you talking about then?"

Miranda paused here, but she had to make it clear to Emily that she was better off. She had to. Lee Jones had been no good for her.

"I knew his father," Miranda said, pressing on. Emily sat there frozen, unsure of what she was hearing. "His father was a bad man, Emily. Very bad. I don't doubt that was in his son's blood. You're lucky to have escaped a bad future."

"Lee was a good man," Emily said, her voice a whisper. How dare Miranda attack Lee after he was dead!

"Go home. Come back when you're not leaking everywhere and hobbling like a homeless person," Miranda said. "That's all."

Emily was shell shocked, but she got to her feet and and limped away on her crutches. Miranda knowing Lee's father was flabbergasting. And what did she mean that Michael Jones was a bad man? He'd died a tragic death with his wife, Laurie. Her mind was reeling, but the ever constant pain of missing Lee eventually trumped all of her thoughts.

**Two Weeks Later **

Lee stood looking out the window as he got dressed. He was officially cleared to leave, and it took everything he had to not board the next flight and go to New York and find Emily. He couldn't stop thinking about her. He couldn't stop thinking about how much she'd be hurting and probably not eating. His neck felt bare without his chain, but he knew Emily had it, and that somehow made him feel relieved, not that a necklace could actually save someone he knew. He grabbed his watch and put it on just as Barney knocked and came in.

"You ready?" he asked.

"I guess."

"I got his name," Barney said. Lee looked at him sharply.

"And?"

"Kazimir Bykov."

"Destroyer of peace," Lee commented.

"Well, he certainly isn't a keeper of peace," Barney agreed.

"Where is he?"

"Don't know. He's a ghost right now."

"Well lucky for him, he's got a ghost coming after him," Lee retorted. Barney put his hand on Lee's shoulder as he tried to exit the room.

"I know you feel like shit and are pissed at me for doing this, but I honestly did it for good not bad."

"I know," Lee nodded. If it was the other way around, Lee knew Barney would play dead to save someone he loved too.

"I'll check in on her," Barney promised.

"Don't," Lee said. "It will only make it worse."

"You sure?"

"I'm sure."

"Okay."

Barney knew he was going to ignore this anyway and check on her. It was the least he could do. They walked out together, heading for Tool's tattoo parlor to round up the guys and explain the situation. Lee ached for Emily, but he managed to keep it together. As they drove, Lee watched the sun set, and he wondered where she was in that moment and what she was thinking. He desperately hoped he would get to see her again and that she wouldn't hate him for doing this to her.

...

Emily stared at the thing in her hands, wishing she was dreaming. This couldn't be happening. It just couldn't. She thought hard back to the last time she'd been with Lee. Had they not been careful? Clearly not. Shadow whined from the floor, and Emily looked at him.

"My thoughts exactly," she said. Good grief, now she was talking to the dog. She really was losing her mind. She started losing her mind the moment she lost Lee.

"Okay," she said now, still looking at the stick. "Okay."

"Em?" Eric asked, poking his head in. He was hovering over her way too much lately. He probably thought she was throwing up in there, which was true, but it wasn't self inflicted.

"I'm fine," Emily answered.

"Are you sure?"

It was then that Emily knew she wasn't fine. She was going to be a single mother. She was going to have the baby of a man she'd fiercely loved and lost. She was alone.

"No," she cried. Eric pushed open the door and saw her sitting on the edge of the tub with Shadow lying by her feet. He came towards her and caught sight of what she was holding. He paused.

"Is that...?" he asked, trailing off. He gestured to her hands.

"Yes," she nodded, sniffing.

"Are you...?"

"Yes," she nodded again, finally looking at him. "I'm having a baby, Eric. Lee's baby."

"Oh my God, Em," Eric said, sitting beside her and pulling her into his arms.

"I don't think I can do this," she whispered, clinging to him. Eric hugged her tighter.

"Yes, you can. I am here for you every step of the way. You're not alone, Em. You're not," he promised.

"You swear?"

"Yes."

"I miss him so much," she cried.

"I do too," Eric nodded, still hugging her. "I do too."

Emily hoped that Lee could somehow see them. She needed him to know that she was trying. She and Eric sat in the bathroom for a long time. Then it was time to face the world, and no matter how terrifying it was, Emily knew she had to be strong. She'd do it for Lee. One day at a time.

**The End...For Now**

* * *

**I know, I know...angst. I can't help it lol. But now you know why Miranda didn't like Lee. I do like my twists :)**

**Also, I have already started on the sequel to this, so keep an eye out for it! I should be posting it soon.**

**Side note: I added the bit about the necklace because I watched all 3 Expendable movies again and noticed Lee wears it in all the films. I am pretty sure it is the St. Christopher Pendant as it looks very similar, but I may be wrong. For the sake of this story, though, that's what it is. I am going to go back and add a scene about it in an earlier chapter.**


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